DVD Players for the Kids: What Kind of Rules Do You Set?

[nwoods]

2 boys ...19 & 12...
If we are pulling some serious hi-way miles with nothing of note...think Phx - LA then they can watch something classic we can talk about...Pale Rider, Jaws, Twilight Zone and such...something that has alot of cultural references made to it.

The movie has to be paused if there is anything remotely interesting we are passing by or such.

If we are taking backroads or there are things worth looking at out the window then no electronics.

I am fine with reading, map researching and such. I actually think that the hours on the road give a mind quality time to wander and think.

As a family we will listen to books on CD that we get for free from the library...it might be something classic or something for fun. It often leads to great arguements about characters, plots and backstories, but in a fun way.

We do it exactly this way also. The family long distance highway cruiser mom-mobile (Nissan Armada) has a DVD player that is only used on long pavement oriented trips, and seldom at that. Our other vehicles do not have one. Our kids enjoy reading, coloring, entertaining themselves with backseat Bionicle wars, etc...

It's way easier with two or more kids to avoid needing a DVD player, because they can engage themselves in play for hours on end. Lately, my 12 year old son inherited my first gen iPhone (without a phone contract, so it's basically just an iTouch), and they play games on it. I'm not thrilled about it, but we exercise pretty tight control on what music and games they have, and when they can use it as well. Everything is cool in moderation.

 

[articulate]

Thanks for the answers everybody. I want to respond so them all.

Those long road trips were some of the best memories of my life. . . I would personally counsel parents to strenuously avoid the ubiquitous DVD player if at all possible.

Martin, I enjoyed your rant to a degree, but I don't necessarily agree. I think most of us here value the magic that happens to us as we roll on down the road to some place new, far-off, and with a great view. We want that for our kids, too. That's why we take them on trips.

No trip has more emotional ups and downs as one with children along. It's during those downs when parents need to reach deep into the bag-o-tricks to get through the next hour - or whatever. Sometimes, sometimes, it's a clever movie that does the trick. Movies and shows are like the nuclear bomb in the parent's arsenal. Bang! And all was quiet. It's perfectly fine.

I think the parents who have stated that, yes, they do often allow a DVD player (or what ever electro-gadget works) say so with some envy for a world without one. In 2010, the difficulty here is not with avoiding the DVD player as much as it is finding ways to make staring out the window and learning to read a map a part of the experience. I'm not exactly good at those things.

Hell, that's half the point of this thread, though. There is no doubt that none of us like placing a screen in front of our kid's faces -- so, let's discuss here and learn something from one another.

This topic came up between my wife and me recently, which is why I posed the question about the rules. We don't own a DVD player for the backseat and it surprised us to realize that we've never wanted one; that our daughter, who is now 3, actually likes riding in the truck with us. We'll talk about animals, make up stories, read books . . . eat snacks. There are times she's like the donkey in Shrek, too. I know that well. One thing we do is bring some (obnoxious) music that she likes. What's nice about music is that we all still interact together.

Anyway, I really don't want to go down the road of "DVDs and video games are crap." That's not true, and that's not the point of my questions.

I want to hear how people are solving the problem. Which, as I see while I typed this up, more solutions have been posted....

Gracias, good people.

 

[articulate]

My opinion? ....

It also seems to me to be a bit hypocritical, to tell a kid he can't watch a movie during an 8 hour road trip because he has to learn to "appreciate the great scenery & diverse history of our country", while Daddy sits up front playing with his 2meter radio, SPOT, ScanGuage, GPS, fridge temp display and Mommy sits beside him on her iPhone, checking business emails, texting friends and updating her Facebook status...

More rules don't always result in happier, more well-rounded children. Let a kid be a kid...


:wavey:

You're making my day.

 

[Errant]

I'm of the same mindset at Martin and am disgusted by seeing TVs everywhere I look. It's to the point where you can't even stand in line a grocery store without a boob-tube blaring back at you.

My sons are now 20 and 22, so it's no longer an issue. But as children, they were raised to have fun w/o the need for electronics. I didn't need a TV to shut them up, because I enjoyed their company. It wasn't a "rule" and they weren't denied access, (of course they still had the latest greatest game console, iPod, etc.) but they were encouraged and actually preferred doing other things.

 

[datrupr]

Great one Aaron. It's been a long time since I've seen Ellesha! How old is she now? Like 5 or 6?

She is going to 7 next month. The time goes by so fast.

 

[datrupr]

You're making my day.

Mr. KC has a way of making all of our days.

To rebute Mr. KC. Mr. Magellan here loved your post and you make great sense. I do not set rules for my daughter, but try to keep her mind active. She has toys, books, math pages, coloring, and I always have music downloaded just for her on my iPod. She loves to look out the window and ask questions about the scenery. We also turn off the tunes and play games like I-spy, word association using road signs, and we will stop at historical markers (more for me as this tends to bore poor Elle and Jacki). If we are driving at night we all play "padiddle" with out the hitting, but Elle gets to keep score. She has fun and we all do while keeping the minds of all travellers active. Just no movies on the road. That is also mainly because Elle gets through about a half a movie and gets bored and her mind wanders. She does the same watching TV at home so we don't really watch a lot of TV. We did just buy Elle a NetBook laptop for herself and she can use my aircard connection on the road after I get all the settings and her educational web sites set up. We have not tried this yet, but we have a road trip coming soon and will report back.

 

[Martinjmpr]

More rules don't always result in happier, more well-rounded children. Let a kid be a kid...


:wavey:

The problem here is that kids are lazy. They take the path of least resistance.

What is education, after all, but the process of pushing people out of their comfort zone?

If you let kids watch whatever they want, they will watch the same TV programs over and over and over until they can memorize the lines and then they'll still watch them. If you give them the choice between a good book and an action-packed video game they will choose the game. Give them a choice between a movie and watching the sunset and which one will they choose? You don't have to be a child psychiatrist or even a parent to know the answer to that one.

Call me crazy but I don't think that's a good thing. I also don't think it's a good thing to teach them that it is their god-given right to be entertained with flashy colors and sounds during every waking moment.

I can't help but wonder if the reason so many kids are being diagnosed with ADD is that right out of the cradle we start bombarding them with attention-distracting electronics.

 

[kcowyo]

You're generalizing... children are like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike.

Lazy? Path of least resistance...? Some teens maybe, but you would need that Triumph of yours to keep up with my 6 year old daughter for 24 hours. She could wear out a treadmill...

I agree that watching the same TV show over & over isn't good for them. No one is saying stick 'em in front of the boob tube 24/7... but presenting them with several options for a long road trip. On a short, scenic 2 hour trip to Yellowstone, a DVD player is not really necessary for us. But on an 11 hour trip down to Lake City, or back to Grandma's in Missouri..? Sure. Intermittent use can be as educational as 400 miles of 'Slug-Bug', or learning the history of the Great Corn Palace...

If you give them the choice between a good book and an action-packed video game they will choose the game. Give them a choice between a movie and watching the sunset and which one will they choose? You don't have to be a child psychiatrist or even a parent to know the answer to that one.

My 9 year old son is fascinated with computers... he can take them apart, fix them and put them back together. He also writes computer code, loves reading about Wizards & Ninjas and he can finish any video game in about 2 days... And yet I hope you will be proud to know that he has disproven your thought process here, twice in the last week alone..

Give a little credit and have a little faith Zapp... we're not all raising lazy, apathetic, remote control mongers & keyboard mashers. Your crotchety old man schtick is fun though! And I know your heart is in the right place...


:campfire:

.

 

[Superu]

This thread seems to have a couple of threads with more generalizations and stereotypes than we usually see this soon into a topic.

* My kids aren't lazy.

* I sometimes do want to plant them in front of a TV/DVD screen.

* My 10 y.o. often chooses books over TV or games and will contentedly spend hours in the yard whittling, building earthen ramps for his bike or relocating various dirt piles, logs and branches to build and rebuild a fort.

I think there are big differences on the road with 2 parents and 1 child versus 1 or 2 parents and multiple children. With 2 on 1, they are the center of your world while in that vehicle and have both of you as a captive audience. Not so much when there are 3 of them competing to be heard.

My kids watched a dvd on the way to climb Mt. Monadnock yesterday but were never so engrossed as to miss the deer on the roadside (recently hit and being loaded into the back of a minivan) or the fox that chose to end his life by darting in front of our vehicle on a crowded highway.

I well remember some of the longest and most boring drives to visit my cousins in Pennsylvania as a child. CT was the worst with little to see but rocks and bridges and trees. At least the Cross Bronx Expwy held the promise of seeing a burning car stripped of its' wheels and who can forget seeing all those awesome high rise apartments just like they had on Good Times. (I thought that was pretty slick back then!)

My sisters and I played slug-bug and the license plate game and I-Spy, but that only takes you so long on an 8 hour trip. I seriously doubt the value of those trips would feel diminished to me had 2 of those hours been filled with video.

Just my .02

 

[R_Lefebvre]

Some parents may just not have a strength for knowing how to engage their kids with verbal games, or book reading, or story telling, and so on, from the front seat.

Mark, I like you and your blog a lot, but I have to say, this post is getting a bit preachy.

All kids are different. We are learning more and more that our son actually is sort of "special", yes, in that way. For the longest time, we thought it was us. The Superparent movement had us feeling we were failing, that it was our fault. But, the birth of our daughter, and Phil's first year in school have led us to realize that... Phil came out of the womb screaming. Elise came out of the womb smiling. The two could not be more different, and it's been that way from birth. Maybe your daughter is more like Elise.

So please, don't be a Superparent.

I would love to talk about ways to entertain kids in the car. But let's not say things like "if you let them watch DVD's, you're weak".

I Spy: Gets old pretty quick when you're driving on a road through the bush for over an hour. Everything you spy is either green, or green.

Talking: My 4 year old wants to discuss the theory of evolution. I cannot devote the intellectual resources to have this discussion with him while piloting a car.

Book Reading: Phil will not accept a book being read to him from the front seat. He needs to see the words and pictures, while having them read to him.

It also seems to me to be a bit hypocritical, to tell a kid he can't watch a movie during an 8 hour road trip because he has to learn to "appreciate the great scenery & diverse history of our country", while Daddy sits up front playing with his 2meter radio, SPOT, ScanGuage, GPS, fridge temp display and Mommy sits beside him on her iPhone, checking business emails, texting friends and updating her Facebook status...

Exactly. How can I tell my son not to play a racing game in the back seat, when I'm driving over the speed limit because it makes the trip that much more fun for me?

I well remember some of the longest and most boring drives to visit my cousins in Pennsylvania as a child. CT was the worst with little to see but rocks and bridges and trees. At least the Cross Bronx Expwy held the promise of seeing a burning car stripped of its' wheels and who can forget seeing all those awesome high rise apartments just like they had on Good Times. (I thought that was pretty slick back then!)

Yes. Maybe if we had DVD players when we grew up, the station wagon (an efficient and practical form of family transportation ) would still exist because it wouldn't be associated incredibly boring family road trips.

 

[Antichrist]

I have 13 and 15 year old boys. Never had a DVD player and most likely never will. They read, look at things, or we talk.

 

[articulate]

I would love to talk about ways to entertain kids in the car. But let's not say things like "if you let them watch DVD's, you're weak".

You stated it just right, Rob.

I apologize that my post gave you the wrong impression, or that I just wasn't clear. I was trying to say to Martin, "Thanks, but no thanks." I get his point, enjoy a good rant every now and again, but his contribution took us down a path that I didn't care to go down with this topic.

Otherwise, everyone has shared some good and sensible stuff so far. I know I asked about "rules" and I see that that was just poorly worded on my part. I like KC's point about letting kids be kids. That really nailed it I think.

 

[Honu]

like anything balance is key ?
I let my kids have ice cream ? OH HOW DARE ME
well they dont make a dinner of it ? its a treat ?

I dont make them have a dinner of vegetables either a nice mix

I let them watch DVDs and play with their Nintendo DSi in the car also ?

I wonder what this forum would be like with out the threads on the latest navigation devices the dads are talking about like the ipads and other things (like mentioned above already) or trailers or lifts or other mods we do to our rigs !!! why when the pioneers used horse and buggy what a bunch of wimps you are do it like I used to !!!
I dont want to walk 3 miles through the snow to school like my parents did


fact is a nice balance of all things is good
I am 46 and on long car rides when I was a kid I remember being bored out of my mind a lot of times also !!!!


embrace the times we are in now and make the best of them

 

[photoman]

A little research here.... so please share. Do you have a DVD player of any kind for your kids to watch movies while you're road bound?

If so, what kinds of rules do you set? Or do you set no rules at all and just let that thing play movies from driveway to campsite?

How well do your kids do without DVD players in the car? Maybe you have alternatives that your kids get into?

Hit me with your opinions and methods.

Thanks!

Mark

Had a DVD player for my son when he was 3-5 because eight hours or more in a car is a long time for that age. He is almost 11 now and we have forgone the DVD player. I am sure he would watch it if we had one though.

I do have an 80gb Ipod that has a couple movies on it. He will start watching one but then turn it off and switch songs faster than a hip hop DJ doing a mix. Drives me nuts so I gave him earphones for the Ipod and I listen to the radio or plug in the 2nd Ipod if I can't get a station.

When he is not 'mixing' we play games like I-spy or a variety of alphabet games. Animals, Cars, signs etc. We use to play slug bug heavily and even added to that game. There was Mini Flicks (flick the person every time you saw a Mini Cooper), Porsche Push (obvious), Laser Limousine (one finger tickle if you happened to see a Limo). That game got hard to keep a proper score though. Also play a game of "Why is it named that?" When you see signs of creeks, washes, or passes you have to come up with the reason it was named that, i.e. Big Bug Creek or Bloody Basin Rd.

Lately he has become the navigator and is starting to understand maps and likes reading about the history or unique features. He also loves being the radio man if we are traveling with another vehicle.

Other electronic devices include: Tetris on the Ipod, poker on my cell phone, and he shoots photos either with his cell phone or his own dslr. :victory:

I can see a dvd player being very useful for young kids as well as around the campsite if the weather turns crappy or you have a crabby kid.

 

[photoman]

I Spy: Gets old pretty quick when you're driving on a road through the bush for over an hour. Everything you spy is either green, or green.

Agreed!! We have a rule that the I-Spy has to be something able to be seen for quite some time or has to be something in the car. Still gets old pretty quick though.

Cloud formations is also a time consumer for kids. Keeps them looking out of the car and gets some creativity going. That is if there are any clouds.