Confessions of a novice rider part two: Riding the bike is the easy bit

[grahamfitter]

I've been riding my motorcycle for a few weeks and its going great. The only routine thing I haven't done yet is to switch to reserve when the engine splutters and fill the gas tank shortly afterwards.

The instructors never said that riding the bike is the easy bit. The rabid drivers, massive pot holes, hill starts behind slow trucks, sand outside my house, cold, rain, turn signals that don't cancel themselves, etc. are nothing compared to...

Managing the riding gear.

Its OK at home. I start the bike and go back inside the house to finish my mug of tea and suit up while the engine warms up. Most of the time I remember to take my glasses off before trying to put the helmet on.

It all goes horribly wrong when I get to work 45 minutes later. Its a defense company so the first thing I have to do is show my ID badge at the gate. The badge is in my left side pocket which is accessible in neutral. I can't find the zipper with gloved hands and can't even see the pocket with my helmet on. I eventually locate and unzip the pocket. The badge resists all grabbing. I can't imagine what its going to be like stopping for roadside tea relief! All the while cars are lining up behind me. Eventually I remove a glove, retrieve my badge, show it to the guard, put it back in my pocket, put my glove back on my hand and leave wishing I was invisible. Which is impossible wearing a hi-viz yellow jacket.

Amazingly I park my bike in the parking lot without causing a domino effect of some really expensive looking machinery. I try to remove my helmet but I can't find the strap with gloved hands so I take them off and put them on the bike seat. One falls on the ground. I pull the helmet off half way, which reminds me to open the visor, remove my glasses, put them really carefully on the bike seat. Take off the helmet again, put my glasses back on, find the gloves, and disappear into the cube farm.

Ten hours later I emerge in fading daylight and walk to the bike in anticipation of a nice ride home. The engine is cold so I want to start it before fighting with the gear. But that requires two hands so I have to put the helmet down somewhere. Not on the seat because it will fall off. On the ground? My new helmet? FINE! Jacket zipped, glasses off, helmet on, glasses on, gloves on, choke in.

Finally I ride off into the sunset.

I'm starting to believe that protective gear is a joke car drivers play on motorcyclists just because we have more fun!

Cheers,
Graham

 

[IH8RDS]

Maybe its just the Air Force, but I see the riders here everyday wear a vest that has a pocket on the left breast and the gate guards pull it out check it and put it back in... It probably just the Air Force though... lol

 

[ThomD]

LOL. It does take a while to get the glasses off-helmet on-glasses on-gloves last routine.

The most embaressing part will be the day you get the "slow lay down". You'll be doing something like taking a slow corner and for some reason you will need to stop. Maybe you decide there really isn't room to pull out, or the car in front of you stops mid way through the turn. For whatever reason, you are leaned over for a 5 mph turn and suddenly you are in a 0 mph stand still. Then the bike remembers its special relationship with gravity. It slowly leans over and for about 2 heartbeats you think you can hold it up. Suddenly you are thinking, "Wait, this bike weighs how much?" and that slow, inexorable march toward the ground begins. The hard part is to look cool as you decide to let it go over gently and just step off the bike. "Why yes, I did decide that the middle of an intersection is just the place to admire my bike from an odd angle. Thanks for asking. Now, would you be so kind as to help me lift 500 lbs so I don't blow out my back?"

Just sayin'

eepwall:

 

[kjp1969]

This reminds me of a good one:

AUTOCROSS GRID ROUTINE

Here's my routine when getting into the car on grid at an autocross:

1. Get in the car.
2. Strap myself in (5 point harness).
3. Realize the keys to the car are in my front pocket.
4. Unstrap.
5. Get out of the car and get the keys out of my pocket.
6. Get in the car.
7. Strap myself in.
8. Put the keys in the ignition.
9. Notice my helmet sitting on the passenger floor.
10. Unstrap.
11. Put the helmet on the passenger seat.
12. Strap myself in.
13. Notice the driver's door is still open.
14. Wonder why the guy next to me on grid thinks this is so funny.
15. Unstrap.
16. Close the driver's door on the lap belt.
17. Try to strap back in.
18. Open the door to free up the lap belt.
19. Strap myself in.
20. Notice the driver's door is still open.
21. Start getting irritated at guy next to me on grid who is cackling like a
chicken.
22. Put helmet on head, scraping glasses down nose and onto the floor.
23. Take helmet off.
24. Unstrap.
25. Pickup glasses.
26. Strap myself in.
27. Notice my helmet sitting on the passenger floor.
28. Decide the guy next to me on grid is having a coronary by the way he's
twitching and jerking.
29. Unstrap.
30. Put the helmet on my head.
31. Try to strap myself in but I can't see the latch because of the helmet.
32. Take helmet off, carefully putting it on the passenger seat.
33. Strap myself in.
34. Starting to hope the coronary the guy is going through finishes soon.
35. Put helmet on.
36. Notice glasses on passenger side of dash.
37. Unstrap.
38. Put glasses on.
39. Strap myself in.
40. The guy next to me must be dead 'cuz I can't see him sitting up in the
car anymore.

Thanks to John at www.betamotorsports.com for holding this one for us.

Kevin

 

[Blair G]

A few things that can be done to make life easier are:

Flip front helmet- Makes putting a helmet with glasses on possible. Also, as a person who went through a controlled gate every day for 5 years being able to flip the helmet up to show your face sped things up. The flip face helmet also tends to be a pretty dorky looking contraption. So be prepared to receive heckling and taunts from your co-workers.

Getting dressed or undressed - Do it inside. Get dressed prior to exciting the building. It is light, warm (or cool) and keeps from dropping everything at the motorcycle. See above for warning about heckling and taunts.

ID- Our base had a sticker that went on the left front fork tube. Occasionally when the person was new and wanted to se my ID I showed a duplicate ID that was carried in my Tank Bag. I had it mounted on a lanyard so when I had my heavy gloves on I was able to pull it out and show it. I would let hang from my arm until I got to camp.

Manpurse- I know, pretty lame. But it works great to throw in all the stuff that you need without having to take off all your riding gear to get to. I bought a bag that goes over the shoulder and has a belt snap that attaches to my waist belt of my riding jacket. If people make fun of you, let them know it has a quick access pocket that holds a P229 and a clip.

Blair

 

[bj70_guy]

Something like an Aerostitch Roadcrafter one piece suit might work for you. They supposedly go on or off in 10 seconds. Waterproof, very well made (in america), lots of pockets (the one on the sleeve would be perfect for your ID badge), armoured, lots of reflective material. You can geek right out and get high viz yellow if that's your bag. As usual with good gear, it's not cheap at around $800. Still, finding the right gear and bucking up for it once is a lot better than wasting money on inferior gear and "working your way up". Cry once and all of that...

http://www.aerostich.com/product.php?productid=16133&cat=249&page=1

The flip front helmet's an excellent idea.

What are you riding?

 

[Martinjmpr]

ID Badge...

If you have a vest like this (see attachment) you can put the ID badge in the chest pocket.

I've been using the Icon Mil Spec vest for over a year and I love it.

As for the helmet: Yes, set it on the ground. Because if you set it on the seat, it will fall off, and now instead of just having a dirty helmet, you now have a dirty scratched helmet.

 

[ntsqd]

I frequently hang my helmet, from the chin area only, on the uphill hand grip. HTH.....

 

[grahamfitter]

The engine spluttered and I finally switched to reserve at 222 miles on the way home tonight. I filled the tank at 230 miles with 2.8 gallons at a cost of ten bucks. That's a refreshing change from the Jeep! 82 MPG definitely isn't too shabby and is about right for a DR200. The tank is 3.4 gallons so that's over 275 miles range on the tank.

Thanks for all the advice, folks.

I can't wear my ID badge off-site so it has to be buried somewhere and anything with a convenient see-through sleeve won't work. I can't see our guards reaching out of their cosy hut into my pocket, either. This morning I just took off a glove and fished the badge out of my jacket pocket. I'm sure its just a technique thing with the way the jacket pocket (Olympia AST) is folded.

A man purse? Actually I've ordered an Aerostich courier bag which should swallow my work laptop, rain pants, extra fleece for the return ride. I'm sure it would swallow the stuff I don't want to drop, too.

I donned the helmet before leaving the building tonight which definitely helped. Its easy enough to buckle up and then put on gloves while walking to the bike.

The flip up helmet idea is a good one but my full-face helmet is brand spanking new and I'm not going to be replacing it in the near future. When its time for a replacement I'll be re-reading these confessions and laughing my ******** off at those formative miles!

Cheers,
Graham