Cooper Discoverer: The Canadian Border Crossing

Hilldweller

SE Expedition Society
“You’re doing it again,” she said. “Arthur didn’t say to turn and you turned right. Where are you going?”
My wife was right. Arthur was right. I was wrong for turning right… But it felt good because there were mountains to the right, dirt roads, trees, and the unknown. It looked interesting to the right; it looked ordinary along the planned route. Sometimes being wrong is the right thing to do.
Arthur is my GPS, by the way. We named him Arthur because he has a British accent and reminds us of Arthur, King of the Britons. Arthur assumes a petulant tone when I don’t follow his commands. As soon as I turned right he said, “recalculating” ---- and he sounded irritated.
I like to irritate Arthur.
“Well,” I said, “I don’t want to go through Calgary. I’d rather go through the mountains. It’s prettier; less traffic.”
“But there’s snow up there.” She pointed to peaks in front of us. “Do you even know how to get through? What if we get lost?”
“Lost is fun!” I replied. “Besides, we don’t have a timetable.”
She settled back in the Jeep’s seat, knowing that I was going the way I was going. Besides, I could tell by the look on her face that she also thought it was prettier this way.
The road continued up up up, the snow got a little deeper, and the pines thickened. The landscape was a complete canvas of snow covered trees and muddy dirt roads, not a home or building anywhere. Our eventual destination was a small/friendly motel in West Glacier, Montana. It was early July and we were on the Canadian side of the border.
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Hilldweller

SE Expedition Society
It was right about this time that I realized that we were pretty low on fuel. I pressed a few buttons on Arthur and inquired about the proximity of a filling station only to find that my options were all in the opposite direction. Bummer.
Just as I was about to announce my defeat and turn around, we came upon a strange sight. It was a compound of some sort, Royal Canadian, with a Maple Leaf proudly fluttering above it. It was a stately but lonely structure, concrete block, fenced in, gravel driveway, and a single fuel pump alongside.
I parked and entered the structure. There was a nice lady there in uniform, bristling with Canadian politeness. “How can I help you?” she asked.
“I'm hoping that your pump outside means there's gas for sale….” I replied, “not just for official vehicles.”
“Oh no, sir,” she said, “that's for everyone! Go ahead and filler up.”
So I did. Gratefully. Even though it was almost $6/gallon after all the conversions. And well worth it.
After I filled up, the nice lady pointed me to a section of the lobby that had a rack full of postcards with hummingbirds painted on them. Her hummingbirds, her art, her postcards. She invited me to buy a postcard. I felt pretty guilty about it but didn't buy a postcard.
We said our goodbyes and were off, pointed in the general direction of Montanna.
In a short while we found an old deserted town and decided to stop for a picnic. The town consisted of many buildings in varying degrees of decrepitude. Not much in the way of signage and nothing apparently wrong with it all to merit its complete lack of human habitation.
We found a nice spot, took out our picnic supplies, and then were assailed by a swarm of biting insects that we had never encountered before. They were voracious and seemed bent on draining our life-blood so we beat our way back to the Jeep post-haste and hit the trail again.
Our next stop was another strange-looking fenced-in area with a sign declaring “Bison Preserve”. There were no KEEP OUT signs so we drove in over the cattle grate. And there were bison everywhere --- it was wonderful. We drove around for a while and ate lunch in the Jeep while watching the bison frollick.

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Hilldweller

SE Expedition Society
Hunger assuaged, we resumed our trek and eventually found a border crossing. Not one of those big border crossings that we're all accustomed to, the ones with long lines, surly customs agents, and Winnebagos with the Griswalds on board. This was rather a tiny border crossing, cute, remote, looking frozen in time. It had one lane, two Mounties, and a single gate.
We drove up to it and the Mounties snapped to attention.
"Good day, sir", one said (politely).
"Good day," I replied.
"Would you mind stepping out of your Jeep, sir?" he asked (politely).
"Certainly," I replied.
"Would you mind if we searched your Jeep, sir?" he asked (very politely).
"Um, sure," I replied.
"Do you have anything to declare?" he asked further.
"Canadian mosquitos are enormous and bloodthirsty," I kidded.
"Sir?"
"Sorry. We had a run-in with a swarm of massive mosquitos a few hours ago." I displayed some bites on my fore-arm. "Barely escaped with our lives."
"Very sorry, sir," he said. And meant it. Canadians are like that. Polite and sincere.
Meanwhile, his counterpart was neatly stacking the entire contents of our Jeep in the road. Piece by piece, bit by bit, painstakingly orderly. And, after everything was stacked, he knocked on panels, peered in every hole, got under the Jeep and poked. Then he put everything back in the Jeep, just as neatly and orderly.
"Thank you, sir; you can proceed," polite Mountie #2 said.
"Thank you, gentlemen," I said. "But I gotta ask, what was that all about? I've never been searched before."
Mountie #1 leaned forward and said, "well, sir, we get two kinds of folks crossing the border here. We're remote, you know."
I nodded. They were indeed remote.
"First kind are loggers. Second kind are smugglers." Mountie #2 nodded in agreement. Mountie #1 continued, "and you don't look like a logger"
We all laughed. "I guess you can add a third kind: Adventure Tourist."

We were on our way again, back on American soil. Glacier National Park was ahead of us and we were ready for more adventures.

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Airmapper

Inactive Member
Very entertaining tale Bill.

And kudos, Arthur is a much more endearing name than what I call my GPS. :ylsmoke:
 

Hilldweller

SE Expedition Society
Very entertaining tale Bill.

And kudos, Arthur is a much more endearing name than what I call my GPS. :ylsmoke:
Thanks.

I actually de-installed the Arthur voice from that GPS when it died and installed it in my new GPS.
....I missed it....
 

kojackJKU

Autism Family Travellers!
HA ha....love the cdn border patrol! And they are 100 % correct. On the remote crossings, 2 types of people "USUALLY" go through.
 

Hilldweller

SE Expedition Society
HA ha....love the cdn border patrol! And they are 100 % correct. On the remote crossings, 2 types of people "USUALLY" go through.
It was the way he said, "...and you don't look like a logger..." that cracked us up. Not that he was implying that we looked like smugglers or anything. Just not loggers.
 

Hilldweller

SE Expedition Society
Ha! Humorous and Nicely written story Bill. Thanks for the entertainment.
Thank you, sir.
I was just thinking about you (and Stankfoot). We're planning to go up to Chincoteague Island in October ---- might run through Williamsburg. And Mirtes said, "don't you know a couple guys up there?"
Any advise on where to camp? We did KOA at Williamsburg and it was tollerable....
 

jim65wagon

TundraBird1
What dates are you looking at for Chincoteague?
We're not even close to Williamsburg. We're at King George. It's right off route 301 before you get into Maryland. If you're up this far you're welcome to camp in the driveway - no wilderness but it's better than a koa.

Stankfoot was down Williamsburg way. I haven't heard from him in a few years though.
 

Hilldweller

SE Expedition Society
What dates are you looking at for Chincoteague?
We're not even close to Williamsburg. We're at King George. It's right off route 301 before you get into Maryland. If you're up this far you're welcome to camp in the driveway - no wilderness but it's better than a koa.

Stankfoot was down Williamsburg way. I haven't heard from him in a few years though.
Sometime in the middle of October. Planning to leave here, go to Expo East for 2 or 3 days, travel up the BRP/Shenandoah, then scoot over to Chinoteague. Williamsburg is a maybe ---- might also divert up to Shepherdstown, WV before the horses; it's my ancestral home and I haven't seen some of the other areas that the family influenced.
We stayed at Maple Tree Campground a couple of years ago and it was pretty neat (MD near Shepherdstown). I guess I really just need to figure out which campground on Chinoteague is most teardrop-friendly...

Last time we were in Williamsburg I called Stankfoot and talked to him out on the water on his tugboat. I thought that was pretty neat.
 

MaxWife

Adventurer
Awesome story Bill! I was actually up that way a couple of weeks ago. I had a client in Edmonton and I talked them into paying for my stay until Sunday so that I could get 4 full days on site and a day to myself. I made a 12 hour meander over to Jasper and down Icefields Parkway in the Rockies (Jasper National Forest) down to the Crossroads (in Banff National Forest) and back up\across to Edmonton. It was STUNNING and I want to go back! Unfortunately Glacier was just a bit too far. Everyone thought I was nuts to do it - and I'm still recovering (but that's because I was on the road for work the next too weeks as well) - but totally worth it!
 

Hilldweller

SE Expedition Society
Awesome story Bill! I was actually up that way a couple of weeks ago. I had a client in Edmonton and I talked them into paying for my stay until Sunday so that I could get 4 full days on site and a day to myself. I made a 12 hour meander over to Jasper and down Icefields Parkway in the Rockies (Jasper National Forest) down to the Crossroads (in Banff National Forest) and back up\across to Edmonton. It was STUNNING and I want to go back! Unfortunately Glacier was just a bit too far. Everyone thought I was nuts to do it - and I'm still recovering (but that's because I was on the road for work the next too weeks as well) - but totally worth it!
It's the prettiest place I've ever been, Dawn.
Did you stop and walk on any icefields?
 

MaxWife

Adventurer
It's the prettiest place I've ever been, Dawn.
Did you stop and walk on any icefields?

I walked up to - but I knew if I did TOO much that I'd be too exhausted for the drive back. It's on my bucket list to go back with Max in tow and do more exploring!
 

Hilldweller

SE Expedition Society
I walked up to - but I knew if I did TOO much that I'd be too exhausted for the drive back. It's on my bucket list to go back with Max in tow and do more exploring!
They have an "easy button" tour up there for the Columbia Icefield. I really wanted to go on this. Next time, I hope...

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