Gallivanter: An Ominous Beginning and an Optimistic Future

shenrie

^^^ hates cars
ugg, sorry mang. is everything else other than drive lines all wrapped up??

that old chevy is awesome. if it was mine, i would have had a body outline sketched around that stain somehow, lol.
 
ugg, sorry mang. is everything else other than drive lines all wrapped up??

that old chevy is awesome. if it was mine, i would have had a body outline sketched around that stain somehow, lol.

Exhaust needs to be done after the drivelines go in. Then just wire the vss, install front brake lines and bleed system, fill the tranny, alignment, and change a couple of coils. That should be it! Then hitch, spare tire carrier, grill, rear pop out windows, Bushwackers (ordered last week), passenger swivel. Those are all the parts I have amassed so far. After that the interior starts with insulation. After insulation is Maxx fan. After that I just need to use the damn thing.

I forgot how rough the interior was on that GMC. I was 22 and didn't take care of my things well back then.
 
An Ode to my Tundra

Oh Tundra how I shall miss thee.
You carried me near and far.
To remote places, to near places,
For work and for play.

Oh Tundra how I cherished thee.
For six long years you were a superstar.
Nary a time did you ever let me down.
For just a few times did I have to pay.

Oh Tundra how I wish I had more adventures with thee.
For months you would sit, while I drove my car.
But when the time came, you were ready to go.
I would turn the key and we would travel today.

Oh Tundra the fond memories I keep of thee.
The mud in Utah that looked like a sandbar.
Rafts piled high and moods even higher.
Even when you lost your tire on the highway.

Oh Tundra the future is bright for thee.
I hope your new owner doesn't give you so much as a scar.
He will love, cherish and treat you right.
I told him to do so and he'd better not disobey.

Oh Tundra how I shall miss thee.
I will reminisce about you around a fire with a cigar.
You had to go so Gallivanter could enter my life.
You are gone, not forgotten, I daresay.












 
I joined the ExPo forum on 6-14-16 after about 4 months of reading nonstop. Up until that point I just didn't feel like I had accumulated enough knowledge to contribute or even comment intelligently on anything. I certainly wasn't going to be one of those people who posted a “What van should I buy?” thread as my first post. The reading continued. It was about at this point that I really started shopping for a van as well.

I used Search Tempest to search Craigslist nationwide. I began to get an idea of what vans went for. I looked at tons of options from box trucks on either a truck frame or a van frame, to GMC AWD, to Sprinters, to Econolines. I looked at ones that had already been made into 4x4 and I looked at stocker ex work vans. I really zeroed in on a 1997-2007 Econoline EB cargo model with barn doors and only windows in the rear and barn doors. I think that's what I want.

On June 23rd I finally felt like I was ready to reach out to Chris at Ujoint and have a good conversation about what it might possibly be like (cost) to find an east coast van and have Ujoint do the mod for me. I felt like I had finally accumulated enough knowledge to have a decent conversation and not start at square one. I sent Chris a long *** email and poured my little heart out.
I rambled on about motor choices, gearing, having Ujoint do the mod, pop tops, wheel and tire choices, RSC, axles, T cases, and a bunch of that fluff to one side or the other. Reading back through that email, had I just spent another two months reading I would have answered all my questions. I hit send and waited. And waited. No response. I was a little disappointed to say the least since he has such a great reputation for being responsive to text and email. However, I know I do write a lot and that was one hell of a long email. I could see how my email went into the “I'll get back to that one” pile. In hindsight, I probably wasn't quite ready to reach out to him. So, I kept reading and shopping for vans.

The obsessive “vanning” continued. Late nights and early mornings I was glued to my screen searching and searching. In the wee hours of July 3rd I shot up in bed and said “Holy crap! There it is!” My girlfriend was less amused that I had found my ideal van and woken her from her slumber. But there it was. The van I had been searching for.
It was a 1998 E350 EB V10 with barn doors. There were only windows in the barn doors and the rear doors. It is astounding how many thousands of vans I clicked on before I found this one. Yeah, it has 300,000 miles on it but with a rebuilt motor and good tranny. Who cares about the 300,000 miles because all the running gear is going to get replaced when I convert to 4wd and it has a newer motor! It's in San Jose, CA and he was asking $4k. Below is the text and photos from the ad. The exterior looks to be in great shape and no major flaws.














I sent an email immediately and told him who I was and what my plan was for it. I even sent him a poached picture of a lifted 4x4 with a CCV top popped. I told him not to worry that I was from Idaho and this deal would be done in person, for cash. I asked for more info on the van, but this guy was not a car guy. He was a musician and hauled his music gear around after he bought it from the catering company that had used it nearly all it's life. The dude sounded like Chong. I pictured a short skinny guy with a bald head and pony tail, thin wire rimmed glasses and Birkenstocks on his feet. This guy just didn't know vehicles and it sounded like he just needed the money but would rather keep the van if he had his choice.

I told him I would commit to giving him his full asking price if he gave me his word he would hold it for two days. I bought a one way plane ticket from Boise to San Jose for $137.10.

I was due to catch a flight *** early the next morning and my spidy sense was tingling. I had asked for photos of the title to verify he had it and he had become unresponsive to texts as he said he was at “band practice”. He finally sent a rambling stoner video of the paperwork on the table explaining that the registration was behind and invalid. He also said the a/c stopped blowing cold just the other day and he had a new compressor installed to the tune of $500 and the price of the van went up to $4500. I called him straight away and told him what was up.

This is probably pretty close to what I actually said so I will put it in quotes. “You have to f-ing kidding me! I am due to get on a plane in less than six hours and you are changing the deal?! Don't interrupt me! I'm talking now. Thank you for the new a/c compressor. I am not paying for it. You could have sent a text and let me know it was on the fritz and I would have come bought the damn thing anyways. That one is on you. I don't care about the lapsed registration because I will be taking it back to Idaho. IF I get on the plane tomorrow, you WILL send me a clear text photo of the title and not another one of your stupid videos. So, that's the deal. You send me that photo of the title and I will see you tomorrow afternoon with $4000 cash in my hand.”

He sent me the photo and I got on the plane.
 
I had a good flight in the morning. It was early but I made it no problem. I had an unsettled feeling for sure, but that gave way to excitement as I headed to California to get my van project started. On my layover in Phoenix I had insurance put on the van and a temp ID card sent over. When I got into San Jose it was a bright and sunny day. I took my first Uber ever and got dropped off at the bank to get the $4000 cash out. I called ahead the day before to make sure they would have that much on hand (weird that you have to make sure a bank has $4000 in 100s but you do). I picked up the money in California because I wanted zero reasons for TSA to question me or ask why I was traveling with a whopping 4 grand in my pocket.

Jim had been responsive by text and every time he responded to one of my updates a little more relief set in. I was still nervous because we were meeting a school and he wouldn't give me his home address. When we rounded the corner to the school there was the big white van waiting for me. Jim was there and I nailed his appearance nearly perfectly except he was Hawaiian. He totally did have Birkenstocks on and was the typical Californian ex hippie musician.

I changed into grub clothes and went into investigation mode. I crawled all over that thing. There was no rust or leaks of any kind underneath. That was the best part. It was idling smooth and the a/c was blowing super cold. Thanks again for the new compressor! The exterior of the van was pretty good and as the photos showed. The interior was another story though. It was a hammered work van. Doors didn't shut right and there were no seals. The wheel wells were smashed in. The passenger door interfered with the barn door. It was rougher than I had hoped, but I am here so let's go for a spin. The motor was great. Strong and smooth. The tranny not so much. It really didn't shift all that well and when I put it to the floor for the 45-65 passing move it was rough and uninspiring. I looked over at Jim and said, “That's what you call a smooth shifting transmission?!” “Well I never did that with it”. This guy just wasn't a car guy.

















In hind sight, I should have caught an Uber back to the airport and flown home. There were many reasons that I handed over the $4k in cash though. This configuration was really hard to find in my searching thus far. I was here. Even if the tranny needed to be rebuilt, I did need to get it converted to 4x4 anyways which would mean cracking the case open. At that point just replace the guts and I will have a new tranny, newer motor, and new running gear underneath. Honestly I had kind of been budgeting for a tranny rebuild. Also, I was really excited to see old friends in Santa Cruz tonight.

I had great friends over the hill in Santa Cruz that I was really looking forward to seeing. I have known them for more than 15 years and we were all part of the same awesome crew back in my Summit County Colorado days. I parted ways with Jim and headed to the DMV to get a trip permit.

So, the DMV in Califorina. Holy crap! Let's just say I wasn't in the best part of town. I walked in to get my number and I walked into a full on crazy person assaulting another person and the cops rusing in. I saw them full on take somebody down. Wow. I got my number and waited. It was going to be awhile and I went across the street and got some bomber Mexican food. The 17 year old kid behind the counter didn't speak any English. I guess I was really shocked at that. You'd expect it from an older person, but I wouldn't expect a kid to not know something. My Spanish is good enough that I was able to get what I wanted.

I walked back into the DMV to check my number and I still had like 40 to go so I went outside into the sunshine to eat. When I finished up in about 10 minutes I went back inside and they had just called my number! You have to be kidding me. How do you skip 40 numbers in 10 minutes? The lady at the front counter actually laughed at me and printed a new number. So I waited again and didn't miss it a second time.

Over the hill I went so see my friends!

Your first trip in a new vehicle is always a little nerve wracking. With no history, no relationship and no rapport, you tend to be a little uneasy. Especially when you know you plan to dump tens of thousands of dollars into a $4000 van. Going over the hill wasn't great. The transmission was worrisome for sure. I was beginning to doubt if it would make it back to Boise. Then a bad vibration started but I was getting close and limped into my friend's house. It was great to see my friends but it was obviously concerning that my new vehicle seemed to be falling apart at the seams.

One of the tires had developed a goose egg in the sidewall. That was where the vibration came from. There was a regular Mexico style llantera a block and a half up the hill and I had three used tires put on for $150. They were actually good tires but money I didn't want to spend since I would be putting on big new ones in the near future.



I had a good time hanging out with my friends and their new baby that night. In the morning I swung by AAMCO to get a ride along with a mechanic to ask his professional opinion on whether the tranny would make it to Boise or not. They were totally slammed but spared a tech for 30 minutes and took pity on situation. The guy who rode with me worked at Ford for years and knew this transmission well. He said the OD was going out for sure and the rest wasn't great but it would certainly get me back to Boise and be ok for a decent amount of miles. As we were nearing the end of the ride, the Christmas tree lit up. All the dummy lights on the dash lit and the amp meter pegged. We got back to the shop and put the scanner on it. There were like 4 codes and the alternator for sure took a crap. Shoot. Now what? I'm supposed to be driving back to Boise right now and I need to be at work tomorrow.
 

KeyserSoSay

Adventurer
Man, I miss my Tundra sometimes...

I'm keeping mine, and if a meteor hits it I'll buy another one just like it- 2001-V8-4x4 with the suicide 4door. I love my van-bus like a new baby daughter, but I know where my bread is buttered.
 
I got the van back today. I wish I could put an exclamation point on that statement, but I can't. I still don't have vss information. I did drive it for the first time finally, but with no vss everything is running so rough it's hard to focus on anything but the hurdles I still have to overcome. On the plus side, it's big and ************. I got a thumbs up on my first ever drive. I am currently drinking and beating my head against the wall. For all those mediocre mechanics out there such as myself that want to take on a 4x4 conversion, you'd better buckle your seat belts cause this **** ain't easy.
 
So here we are deep in the situation. Things are going wrong and it’s going to get expensive. My friend didn’t have **** for a toolkit. I shuddered at having to try to work on a vehicle that I never had before in a driveway that was not my own with no tools. Once I cracked into it, it would be immobile. The AAMCIO guy gave me three reputable shops in the Santa Cruz area. The only place that could get me in today was Santa Cruz Tire and Auto Care. Good thing they were just up the street from my friend’s house. I took the van over there and gave them the rundown.

I knew the alternator was toast. Just a simple test with a multimeter tells you that. Then were the codes. Cylinder misfires and others, but the misfires were the only ones I remember. I got sent through the wringer on the alternator. $269 for the part and $143 for labor. Ugh. Then $129 for the electronic diagnostic. Then it really started to add up.

At this point I called the hippy I bought the van from. I told him I wanted my money back. I was willing to eat the $150 in tires and $550 or so for the new alternator and diagnostic. I'd bring the van back back and fly home. He would get a van he could ask a lot more money for and I wouldn't have the headache. “Oh, sooorrrry duuuude, the money is already gone. I spent it on the bills I needed to pay.” ************* Craigslist. At least ADV rider let me write *************.

So that’s that. This is my van and I need to figure it out. I.e. pay for it. I’m in Cali with an awesome place to stay with great friends and great employees who can run the shop while I am gone. Here we go and I just need to get the damn thing fixed and I gave the shop permission to tear into it. I had no illusions this adventure was going to be cheap.

Nate and Carey in all their good lookin' glory. Friends for life.



Here is what they found. The coolant crossover tube had corroded the block due to dissimilar metal corrosion. The intake had to come off to find that. JB Weld fix was fine by me. The coolant leaked into the valley and shorted a few of the coil packs that sit on the plugs. Hence the misfires. While they were in there I asked to have the plugs changed. I was planning to do that when I got home, but it’s a pain in the ***, so why not now when everything is super easy to get to? You know how shops have their list of how much a job costs? Standard hours and standard parts? Well, I beat the crap out of them and pointed out how easy it was to change the plugs now that intake was off for the coolant leaking and they were double dipping charging full price for both services. Don’t mess with a guy who knows what is going on even though he has no tools at present.

The other thing I had them do was a compression test. Why not while it’s all torn apart and easy access like prom dress? Most read great around 190, but #9 was only at 100. Crap. It was a shame that I had to explain what a wet compression test was to the mechanic. Performing the wet test only yielded a 5 psi gain. So, I have a leaky head. It was about at this point that I started to suspect the paperwork on the rebuilt motor was fraudulent.

I had a lot of time on my hands. My friends had to work and this getting the van fixed thing was going on day two. I got on Google street view and looked up the address of the place that supposedly did the work on the motor. It came up dead on some railroad tracks in a residential area. Now I am totally suspecting fraud. I don’t suspect it from Jim. I suspect it from who he got fleeced from. The invoice was bogus. No itemized charges. Just two line items. One for a rebuilt motor and one for a “transmission repair”. No sales tax. No labor. This just gets worse.



On the plus side, I did get to spend some great evenings in Santa Cruz with the kinds of friends you call “lifelong friends”. We went to a beach party one night and they had a few friends over for a dinner another night. By the time day three rolled around because they screwed up the seal on the intake and had to pull it apart a second time, I actually worked up the courage to hold their newborn baby girl. I missed out on a killer mountain bike ride though because the shop said it was going to be done and wasn’t. Dammit, the MTB-ing in Santa Cruz is sick especially when you know a local who has a rad bike to borrow and knows all the trails that are “illegal”. I’m using a lot of quotation marks here. Interesting.



So finally, the van is back together. Guess how much my bill was? $1890.55 on a $4000 van plus the plane ticket, plus drinking and eating with friends (not a bad thing), plus fuel home, plus the extra labor it cost me at my company while I was gone for three extra days. Stupid vans.

I finally said goodbye to my friends when the van was back together. I hit the road and it was running really well besides shifting like crap. The drive was great for the first few hundred miles. I'm still not sure how it happened, but I was getting upwards of 16mpg in a V10. It was a phenomenal sunset and I couldn't resist taking some photos from the road.





Just before the exit to Winnemucca, NV the check engine light popped. ****. The stretch after this heads into nothing nothingness. Like sage brush black hole nothingness. It was 9pm-ish on a Saturday night. I don't have a code reader and tomorrow is Sunday in Mormon land here and I'm taking a wild swing nothing is going to be open on Sunday. I was parked in a gravel pullout just north of the booming metropolis debating my options. Stay in a hotel and do some gambling and drinking for the next two days and add even more cost to the trip? I called my bro and asked him what he would do.

"Is is running well?"

"Like a friggin' top"

"Then push on and get home. You got electrical tape to put over the light?"

I love my brother.

Push on I did. Though the sage brush and nothingness of Nevada, Eastern Oregon, and Idaho, I pushed on. I made it back to Boise with my new van. I made it with the Check Engine Light blaring it's glorious blaze orange light in my retinas for hundreds of miles of nothingness. Ugh.
 

Jsweezy

Explorer
I got the van back today. I wish I could put an exclamation point on that statement, but I can't. I still don't have vss information. I did drive it for the first time finally, but with no vss everything is running so rough it's hard to focus on anything but the hurdles I still have to overcome. On the plus side, it's big and ************. I got a thumbs up on my first ever drive. I am currently drinking and beating my head against the wall. For all those mediocre mechanics out there such as myself that want to take on a 4x4 conversion, you'd better buckle your seat belts cause this **** ain't easy.

Sorry to hear your still having issues but I'm glad you got to drive it! And ya, you better get used to the attention. It's always there and will make you feel like a rock star.

Edit - and the best part is when people ask, "how much of a lift did you put on it?" So you then have to go into detail explaining that it's not just a lift kit and their eyes glaze over because they don't really care they just think it's a sweet lifted van...
 

shenrie

^^^ hates cars
Damn, had no idea what be you had to go though with van #1 man. That explains the brush off when I first asked questions about it, lol.

Is the vss in the tranny of the rear diff? Either way glad to hear it's mobile and I told you about people's reactions...get used to it :)
 

Jsweezy

Explorer
I like how Shenrie is adding another element to the story by giving us a small glimpse into the future but not giving any details and also adding to the pain that you were feeling when dealing with this van by saying how you didn't want to talk about it...

Someone needs to make this into a movie. "Vanning"
 
The story now moves on to July of 2016. I got home with the van and had been poking around in it a bit. I just had such a foul taste in my mouth from this whole adventure, but this was now my van. July was consumed by building projects at my business and some play time. And by play time I mean a Selway river trip! If you raft, you know that's one hard permit to get. The month slipped by, but at every available opportunity I was still reading about vans. I'm going to keep stressing that for folks reading this thread who are thinking about doing one of these projects. Hundreds of hours of reading are required if you are going to take something like this on.

As the month drug on and I was out driving my van and using it for work, a number of things dawned on me. The biggest one was this van I have now is a bare bones cargo van. It doesn't have anything besides the V10 motor and a box around it. No cruise. No power windows. No tilt. No nothing. The biggest no nothing is no power locks. Do you have any idea how much of a pain in the *** it is to manually lock and unlock all the doors on one of these things? It's a big pain. Trust me. The solution should be simple, right? Retro fit it!

Doing some reading I found that Ford pretty much wired these vans for all the options in the main harness (FALSE=foreshadowing) and it was plug and play if you could find the components to plug and play. So I figured I would keep my eye on CL for some stuff to pop up, buy it and install it. Bing, bang, boom.

On July 29th, this popped up in the auto parts section of CL. 2001 Ford Econoline E350 Club Wagon XLT with a blown motor. $425 bucks. Wow! The XLT has all the goodies I am looking for and I can get it in one shot versus countless trips to salvage yards, CL deals and eBay purchases. Sweet! It even has the upgraded center console for the dog house that people get upwards of $100 on eBay for! You bet your *** I called on this thing and headed straight over.











When I made the initial call, it was plainly obvious this was somebody of Mexican heritage. Just so happens I love to practice my Spanish at every opportunity. When I arrived and she opened the door I said “Buenos Tardes”. She did a double take and replied in English “Did you just say Buenos Tardes?” I'm a white boy btw. I managed most of the transaction in Spanish and I think her and her husband were seriously impressed and appreciative. Sorry all you “Speak English or get the **** out” folks, we don't see eye to eye. So much of our country is Spanish speaking and our cultures and groups are so segregated I choose to be one of the white folks who tries to learn their language and make them feel welcome here. Also, their countries are awesome and I want to drive my van there and not be a total gringo. Spanish is a plus.

Moving along, they purchased the van "as is" to rebuild it and then send it to Tijuana for a church as a gift to get the kids out of the city. When they realized how much it was going to be, they couldn't afford it and were pretty much asking what they paid for it. I felt bad doing it, but I negotiated them down to $375 and I would have it gone tomorrow. I paid them on the spot and then I needed to figure out what to do next.

“Baaaaaaby? Can I put a van in your driveway for a little while? I just need to strip it and then I'll send to the junkyard. I promise! Two weeks max.”

Famous last words. I live in town and my girlfriend of four years has an amazing spread in the country. It needs to go out there. She agreed and I got to work on figuring transport. I went to Harbor Freight and bought their little car tower thingy people use to haul the leech behind a big *** class A motor home. I showed up on the morning of July 30th to get it out of their driveway.

That was a Sunday. They were just getting ready to head to church. The previous night I had some buyer's remorse after driving a bargain. Not that I had bought the van, but that I had driven a mildly hard negotiation and got them down to $375. I handed them an extra $50 dollar bill out of the blue when I showed up for full original asking price. Honestly, I have more than they do and they were trying to do something good. She cried a little and I am happy I didn't Jew God. If that's a thing.

As I got to work it was already hot as balls. I pulled the front bumper and started to look at the Harbor Freight flat tow thingy. That's the technical term. It said so on the box. So anyways, the driveshaft was already unbolted and zip tied up. Sweet! It must have been flat towed here. While I was working, their 10 year old-ish son brought a bottle of water out for me. Which was awesome cause I didn't bring any and I seem to remember having a mild wine hangover. Mexican folks and families rock.

Problems arose though as the Harbor Freight car tow thingy didn't quite work. It would have been perfect had the bolt pattern on either the bumper or the thingy had been turned 90 degrees. Literally perfect. The bolts slid right though. However, as that was not the case, it was fabricate something or call a flatbed. As I am not a fabricator, I opted for the flatbed. $150 and it's sitting in my girlfriend's driveway.



Two weeks baby. I promise I'll have it gone in two weeks.
 
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