WhereThehellisMurph, 3 Wheels, 7 Continents, 7 Years

WheresMurph

Adventurer
DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WE GO.......

.
.

Florida, 2009.
My comfort zone was an illusion, a mythical compound I had created in my life and I was gradually, millimeter by millimeter, settling into it like a comfortable leather armchair.
My house that was in foreclosure, my garage that was attached to said house that was full of "stuff", my BMW 1150 GS, and the knowledge that everything around me was recognizable, recurring, habitual. All of it a known quantity. Safe. Secure. It's called an anxiety-neutral zone. I didn't know that then, but I could feel that it was so. I felt limp and lethargic inside, like there was more. But I obviously was choosing not to take the road less traveled in order to pursue it.
Places, people, streets, friends, weather, activities, behaviors. All about as comfortably familiar and boring as it ever was in my life. It's a silent, faceless killer.
I was suspended in time. There was no challenge, no sharp points to jab me in my flesh and painfully remind me that "hey, you're still alive son". Barely. Technically.
My fear of the unknown and of myself was keeping me on lock down, and I all I had to do was keep telling myself that it could be worse.
And I'll try to fix it tomorrow.



It was nice and safe there.
For a while.

Tick....tock....tick....tock.

Trying to tell myself that I had to be responsible and get a safe secure job so I could climb back up the ladder that I unceremoniously fell off in 2008. Like I had all the time in the world to wait for things to get better, to improve.
Plenty of time, right?.

Looking back, if you had known or met me then, you would be forgiven for thinking that I had an extra life stashed away in a bank somewhere given the way that I behaved and carried on sometimes.
A lot, a lot of wasted energy. And time. And money.
I still do sometimes. Waste time that is. It's hard not to. I'm more aware of it now that I'm sober, not too much wiggle room for excuses these days. Which is just how I like it now.
Back then I had a good excuse. I was drunk most of the time. It was the booze, not me, right?. Riiiight.
That was the problem, right?. Wrong.
Get rid of the booze, get rid of the problem, right?. Wrong.
Getting rid of the booze just made me more completely and painfully aware of the problem.
Me.
I still am the problem. I am not "cured". I never will be. I will always be an alcoholic. All it will still take is just one drink. Should I choose that route.
I choose not to.
I have chosen not to for the last 1,681 days.


At least now I have the ability and am conscious and aware enough to be able to deal with the problems instead of my troubled thoughts and feelings being medicinally soothed, placated and anesthetized by alcohol. Even when I was drinking like a fish, I always knew and felt inside that it wasn't a solution. It was just adding to the problem even more, making it worse.
Now I have no excuses left, at least no really good juicy ones, so it forces me to own up and take a lot more responsibility than I did before.
Sometimes it doesn't work, but most of the time it does.
Self discipline doesn't come naturally to me. But I have a better success rate than I did before January 2009 when I got sober.

Removal and Replacement.
Going down the hole.




Removing myself from situations and things that caused me problems.
Replacing bad habits. With better habits.
However, not all habits need to fit into the "better" category.
And better according to whom?. And from what vantage point?. From whose vantage point?.
Everyones definition of what constitutes better is going to be different.
I just know some of the things that are better for me, and one of them is not drinking alcohol. And not living life in a hamster wheel either. And leaving my comfort zone.
There's a certain degree of irresponsibility to my life now, according to society anyway. Of one day throwing caution to the wind and hoping that I can make a better attempt at it this time around. But it's not haphazard. I don't feel that I am wasting time now. I know I'm not. I feel able to create things. Things that I like and am immensely proud of.
I'm ok with me now. But there's always more.

If not me, then who?. If not now, then when?.

Some get it at an early age. The realization that life is for living, now, without seeking out permissions.
And not just a last minute dash, a realization of "oh **** I'm 50" and trying to play catch up or even a few months before your expiration date either.
Which none of us ever really know, do we?. Some will find out though, either through a medical diagnosis or emergency, whichever comes first. And it will.

I was guilty of the latter a lot of the time, of following the herd, seeking accolades and spending a very large part of my waking moments conforming to what I thought was expected or required of me from a system that I had chosen to entangle myself in. I was subconsciously thinking, and betting, that when I had become successful and had amassed my "fortune" I could buy myself the freedom to do what I had, earlier in life, put aside for later use. What I didn't realize at the time was that I would only go through all those feelings only once. One time only. Every given waking moment in my life happens only once. ****. Can't go back now.

Not realizing at the time that you can never go back. No amount of money can buy one second of that time back. And you can't buy those feelings back either.
You can't, and shouldn't, put those thoughts and feelings aside for later. You can't just pick up at 51 where you left off at 24, or even 34. Or 44.
Feelings that only a younger "full of piss and vinegar" mind, attitude and hormones can allow you to experience. You can't buy that back 10 years further on, or even 5 years on for that matter. Because 5 years on, you're 5 years older and have moved on one thousand eight hundred and twenty six days from that point.
Things have changed. A lot.


And sometimes they change in the blink of an eye.





And while you're blinking, the rest of the post, including a crash course in dismantling a BMW GS Adv transmission to try to hunt down an elusive rattle, can be found by clicking right here





Have the day of your choice,

Murph.​
 

Jim K in PA

Adventurer
Thanks Murph. Only by sharing the perspective you have achieved can we appreciate not only what you have accomplished, but what we can, and have, accomplished.

Best post ever.

Cheers.
 

WheresMurph

Adventurer
Hi Jim and thank you for the vote of confidence.

Best post ever means a lot. So glad to hear.

This coming Sundays post on the blog packs a bit of a wallop too....I hope.

Cheers,

Murph.
 

CavTrooper

Observer
Exactly the right thing I needed to read tonight. Going on a similar journey myself. Your words and perspective offer me hope when there is despair and confusion.

Thanks
 

Cody1771

Explorer
best post ever. totally agreed, right from the get go my eyes couldn't leave the page! Looking forward to sundays post!!
 

Jim K in PA

Adventurer
I shared this with both my sons (19 and 21) as well as several of my friends. For what reason we exist other than to share our lives and experiences, I could not say. A life shared, in whatever manner is comfortable (marriage, friendships, blogs, et al), is a life enriched. Thank you, again, for sharing yours.



Hi Jim and thank you for the vote of confidence.

Best post ever means a lot. So glad to hear.

This coming Sundays post on the blog packs a bit of a wallop too....I hope.

Cheers,

Murph.
 

WheresMurph

Adventurer
Exactly the right thing I needed to read tonight. Going on a similar journey myself. Your words and perspective offer me hope when there is despair and confusion.

Thanks

CavTrooper, glad to hear I'm somewhat of an inspiration. We all get lost, I did. Got very very lost. But there's beacons out there, some are friends, some come from within.A new direction is always scary, but if it's a challenging one that forces you to break out of a stagnant situation, then it will all be worth it in the end. Stuff like this is not supposed to be easy OR come easy either. If that were the case, the world would be perfect. Let me know if there's anything I can help with.

best post ever. totally agreed, right from the get go my eyes couldn't leave the page! Looking forward to sundays post!!

Thanks Cody. Sunday's post is on fire, being written as I write here......

I shared this with both my sons (19 and 21) as well as several of my friends. For what reason we exist other than to share our lives and experiences, I could not say. A life shared, in whatever manner is comfortable (marriage, friendships, blogs, et al), is a life enriched. Thank you, again, for sharing yours.

Jim & Jean, gosh, I'm at a bit of a loss for words. Thanks so much. I feel like a rock star now :victory:

Thanks all,

Murph.
 

Jim K in PA

Adventurer

Jim & Jean, gosh, I'm at a bit of a loss for words. Thanks so much. I feel like a rock star now :victory:

Murph.


Easy there, cowboy. We're not about to start following you 'round like yer Forrest Gump or Jerry Garcia . . . :bike_rider:

Keep rollin' with what's working for you now.
 

WheresMurph

Adventurer
Pt II "GOODBYE SUMMER"...Autumn reflections from the Arctic Circle, Finland.

.
.

The Kemijoki, shot from the Jätkänkynttilä or Lumberjacks Candle Bridge in Rovaniemi, Finland. Sept, 2013.




Lumberjacks Candle Bridge, Jäkänkynttilä, Rovaniemi, Finland.



These last of summer days are numbered up here at the Arctic Circle. The nights are already starting to get darker, in sharp contrast to 24 hrs of daylight only a month ago.
There has been a definite drop in the mercury these last few weeks up here in Rovaniemi. Summer at the Arctic Circle, looks like it's coming to a close soon.
Not everybody is happy about it though.
Most of the members here at Karu MC are not looking forward to this change in season, and I completely understand why. They live here. Most of them hate the winter. Their summer is so very very short and their winter is so very very long. And dark. Very dark. Nearly 24hrs of cold cold darkness and nighttime for 4 months or more. Depressing at times I'm sure. I guess if I lived up here all year long I might get a little sick and tired of winter too. Maybe not. But we all grow accustomed and tired of the repetition in our lives at some point. It's human nature to want change.
That's why we all need to have our dreams. Our goals and aspirations to strive for and one day to reach.




Change.
It's never easy. It never comes easy.
But easy is not always good or rewarding for the body or the soul. Most often times it's not. Why?.
Because it's just too easy to take the easy way, the path most traveled. Anyone can do that. Many have.
What's the point and where's the challenge in that?.

Being a climber in my teenage years (with dreams one-day of becoming an expedition caliber mountaineer), one of my idols growing up was and still is the British mountaineer Douglas Scott.



I still have my original Meindl climbing boots I bought back in 1977 when I was 15. And they still fit. And I still use them. And I still have my Ice axes too.

Anyway, Doug Scott, along with Dougal Haston climbed and summited Mt. Everest on the 24th of September, 1975, in a Chris Bonington led expedition. Their route was by the unclimbed south-west face, and they were the first Britons to climb and summit Mt. Everest during this expedition.
In an interview with Doug called A Conversation with Doug Scott, his opening line in the video are words of wisdom to live by: " I couldn't ever think of going all the way to the Himalaya's just to carry on repeating what other climbers did in the past. It just seems like a complete waste of time". Exactly.

Now, coming from most people, this could be taken with a pinch of salt and a squeeze of lime, but mountaineers are a very special breed of people. And Doug Scott?. Well, Doug Scott isn't most people either.
In 1977, Scott, along with Chris Bonington, summited Baintha Brakk (aka The Ogre) a 23,901 foot rock and ice tower in Pakistan's Karakoram Range. It was late in the day, they had to get down while there was still some light left, which they were going to do by abseiling. During an early pitch of the descent, Scott slipped on ice taking a wide 30m swing, pendulumed violently, and crashed into a rock wall breaking both his legs above the ankles. Scott and Bonington were 9,000 feet above base camp and the sun had just about set.
To make a long and painful story short (you can read Dougs complete account of it here) it took Scott and Bonington 8 days to get back to base camp with Scott having to crawl all the way, wearing through 4 layers of clothing in the process and ending up with swollen and bleeding knees into the bargain. He never panicked. He always knew he would get back down, he just didn't know how. So he took it hour by hour, crawl by crawl. He just pieced together a lot of little small steps.
He didn't talk about the accident for nearly 25 years after it happened, and when he finally did, he recounted his ordeal so matter-of-factly that you would think that he assumed that everyone behaves like this under these types of extreme circumstances after breaking both legs 23,000 feet up a cold and dark mountain. But we're not all Doug Scott.


When I think of riding across Russia in winter, with temperatures going down to -50 at times, in all honesty, it seems like a cakewalk compared to some of the challenges that Scott faced on Everest and The Ogre back in the late seventies. I used to think of it as a pretty monumental trip, but at least the motorway that spans the 9,100km from Moscow to Vladivostok in Russia, is now paved all the way and easier to get help on if something goes wrong rather then trying to get help when you're 23,000 feet up on the side of a massive mountain where there is nobody and nothing. They were tough men in those days. And even tougher journeys and expeditions. As one commenter on Scott's Youtube Conversation video said, referring (a little harshly perhaps) to Britain as " A country full of saturday night thugs and football hooligans parading around representing themselves as hard and tough, I wonder how hard and tough they'd be on a Doug Scott Himalayan expedition". Most people probably wouldn't last a day.

A Doug Scott expedition would be a test that I would like to think I could of achieved but would probably have fallen way short of the mark on. But it's Scott's principle of not repeating or following in others footsteps, of carving your own path and to not be afraid to keep challenging yourself at every turn that I (try) to keep at the forefront of my thinking and reasoning these days of what I'm doing on this trip and why I'm doing it. Of why I'm alive and here on this earth for whatever amount of time I have left. It's one of my reasons for traveling in winter. The challenge of it. When I told some friends I was heading north to Nordkapp Norway in December, they told me "you're crazy, you should be going to Spain or Greece in December". Why?. That's too easy. That's what everybody else does. Why bother doing the same thing that every else does?.
Dougal Halston once said "In winter, the mountains seem to regain their primitive, virginal pride, and no more do the howling, littering summer masses tramp their more accessible slopes. The same feelings I attach to my choice and love of traveling in winter. Aside from the increased degree of difficulty and test of ones physical and mental toughness and durability (especially while camping in -20), I also don't have to deal with the summer and her fair weather masses, who are are all vying and clamoring for that same spot to get the same shot that everyone else before them got.
In winter, I have most, if not all, of the serene and calm beauty of her picture perfect snow covered landscapes all to myself.


Steamboat Colorado, USA. Jan 2012.





But then again, I've always loved winter. Winter reaches all the way back to my childhood, and probably does for most of us. Growing up in Ireland we only got a white Christmas every 4 years or so, so that fact in itself made me love it's beauty and magic it all the more.
Even getting snowbound and stuck in Steamboat Colorado in January of 2012 didn't deter me. I just had to figure out how to be able to travel on a motorcycle all year round.
And especially in winter. So I did.
A 2 wheel drive sidecar. Brilliant.




Riding to Nordkapp in December of 2012 seemed to be, at the time anyway, a difficult and challenging trip. Not so in reality. There was nothing too difficult or challenging about it at all. With spiked tires, some good winter gear and 3 wheels on the ground, I was all set. Don't get me wrong, it's not a cakewalk. I was still cold riding in -28°. But it's not difficult either. On a 2 WD sidecar, in degrees of difficulty, it's on the low end. There are way more difficult things I could think of doing.
Everyone has challenges and struggles in their life that they have to face and deal with. Some of those challenges are choices, self imposed. Some are not.



"Life can change in the blink of an eye"


It did for Jaska.





Jaska last year.



Jaska last Sunday.

Jaska's life changed in the blink of an eye.
In March, at only 42, he had a stroke. Life changing. At 42 you would think that you still have your whole life ahead of you to do whatever you want to do, right?.
Think again. Maybe. Maybe not.
How do you find out?. You don't. You make the best of now. Right now. Because in reality, that's all you have. Right now. This moment. Think about it.

The full article, photos, and hopefully a sit down and chat with Jaska will be on the blog in a the next few weeks.
It's a very fragile and very short life we have. I'm in awe sometimes that I made it this far considering the things that have happened to me. Many of the things we have we take for granted, the simple little things like getting up out of bed in the morning and walking to the kitchen to make some coffee, are only missed when you're not able to do them anymore. I'm guilty of this at times, of taking for granted what I have had , and have. I've made it to 51 already, pretty much unscathed too after completely drowning and pickling my internal organs and brain in booze and ending up in hospital knocking on deaths door.
All I have to complain about now is a slightly sick transmission that's in need of a few parts. And it's not a problem at all. Just an inconvenience.
What's the difference between a problem and an inconvenience?.
Here's the real world difference: If money can fix it, it's not a problem, just an inconvenience.
If you're told you have 1 month left to live, all the money in the world won't help. That's a problem. A big problem.
But my transmission and clutch?. No problem. Nothing that money can't fix. My life is that simple now. And I'm happy. Inside. The wind doesn't blow through the big hole that used to be there before. The hole is much much smaller now. And the wind has died down a lot.




And speaking of things that money can fix, here's a quick "How to" for other BMW 1150 GS owners out there on repairing a stripped valve cover bolt hole.
There are (4) M6 valve cover bolts on the BMW 1150 GS boxer motor that attach the valve cover to the cylinder head. The cylinder head is aluminum and it's quite easy to over tighten the valve cover bolts and strip a thread in the cylinder head in the process. But don't worry. No need to freak out. If you do, it's an easy 5 minute fix to repair it. Ok, maybe 10 minutes, but no more.
And here's how you do it.



First, remove the 4 M6 valve cover bolts. They have a built in stop mechanism that doesn't allow them to be removed completely from the magnesium valve cover. The bottom bolts in the above photo is as far as they come out.


Next, remove the valve cover and turn it upside down and place it in a catch tray so no dirt or debris gets inside and sticks to the oil residue on it and the excess oil will drip out and down into the tray.
Now is a good time to get your Helicoil kit out.



Here's what the good thread should look like.


Annnd here's what it should not look like.

The rest of the Valve Cover repair tutorial and much more of the post can be found HERE on the blog, as it won't all fit here on Expo due to thread size limitations.

I hope this Pt II was a help for some who I know got something from Pt I.

Have the day of your choice,

Murph.​
 

Jim K in PA

Adventurer
My life is that simple now. And I'm happy. Inside. The wind doesn't blow through the big hole that used to be there before. The hole is much much smaller now. And the wind has died down a lot.

Great to hear this Murph. The ebb and flow of that wind, and that hole, is something that people struggle to "control". If they cannot control it, they mask or hide from it(ETOH, drugs); hide it (denial, manipulation, etc). You have broken through that game of hide and seek. Now, the world is a lot less scary a place for you, I would imagine.

Everyone's journey through this process does not require a motorcycle, or a mountain, or even to travel outside the city limits. It is a journey through one's own melange of ignorance, learning, and becoming self-aware to the extent that you can see yourself from the outside. Only then can you understand what you like about yourself, and what you need to change.

Thanks again for sharing.
 

WheresMurph

Adventurer
Great to hear this Murph. The ebb and flow of that wind, and that hole, is something that people struggle to "control". If they cannot control it, they mask or hide from it(ETOH, drugs); hide it (denial, manipulation, etc). You have broken through that game of hide and seek. Now, the world is a lot less scary a place for you, I would imagine.

Everyone's journey through this process does not require a motorcycle, or a mountain, or even to travel outside the city limits. It is a journey through one's own melange of ignorance, learning, and becoming self-aware to the extent that you can see yourself from the outside. Only then can you understand what you like about yourself, and what you need to change.

Thanks again for sharing.

Hi and thanks again Jim for your insightful comments and words of wisdom too. And you're right, the world isn't as big or scary anymore.

Regards,

Murph.
 

WheresMurph

Adventurer
"VISITING JASKA".

.
.
Jaska. Sept 15, 2013​
.​


4 days after I took this shot of Jaska he went back into hospital to get the right side of his skull put back in. According to his family, the operation went well.
Last Feb, only a few days after I arrived in Rovaniemi from Norway at the Karu MC clubhouse, while rehearsing with his band Jaska said to the guys "I don't feel so good".
At first mention it didn't carry that much weight, but when one of the band members, Tommi, noticed that Jaska was becoming very quiet, then it took on a different meaning. Tommi said that Jaska kept squeezing his car keys in his left hand. One of the band members had some medical training and knew exactly what was going on. "Call the ambulance immediately" he said. Jaska was rushed to the hospital, examined, then moved to a better equipped hospital in Oulu when they realised what was going on, and thats where his head was cut open and he had to have part of his skull removed to relieve the pressure build up. That's the part where he nearly died, as a blood vessel burst as they were operating. He nearly died.


"Life can change in the blink of an eye"





A few weeks ago the members of Karu MC organized a trip to go see Jaska and how he was doing.
It was a 150km ride from Rovaniemi to his house, so since my outfit is still in pieces waiting on replacement parts, rather than borrow and ride a loaner bike I decided to ride on the back of someone else's bike, which gave me a chance I rarely get, to be able to shoot as I ride.







I spent the last two weeks sorting, editing, framing, and converting about 300 images out of the over 1,200 shots that I took from my 2 visits with Jaska. The first time was with Karu MC and the second visit was a week later with Jari, a club member who was not able to visit him when the club rode out there 2 weeks ago. I wanted to go back and chat with Jaska, try to get an idea of just how much his life has changed and how much it's affecting him and his family. And even though we chatted a little, Jaska's not a big talker so it was a bit difficult for me to get a good picture. Or maybe it's just because he doesn't know me. But my feeling is he's a strong silent type. He has a strength and determination that I believe will carry him through this.
The more images that I worked on and went through, the more I realized that whatever I wrote about Jaska would fall short of the mark. I don't know him well enough to write about him. Fortunately, I'm a photographer, and I took a lot of photo's, so my intention is that the images will impart and convey a more meaningful story to you than I can describe with just words.
However, the impact of how life-changing and difficult Jaska's situation is wasn't lost on me. As I wrote about in my last post, you only have a certain amount of time here on this earth to do the things that you would like to do. As you get older, that turns into "doing the things you've always wanted to do". When you have a piece of paper with "Bucket List" written on the top, well, congratulate yourself. You've made it further than many others have. However, you're also old and time is running out.
But in reality, life is just as fragile at 12 as it is at 42. On Sept 4th this year our DRIVEAWAYCANCER friend,12 year old Coulton, lost his battle with cancer. He didn't even get to be a teenager for a day.
Still think you have plenty of time for that trip you always wanted to take?.





A lot more photos and the rest of the article HERE on the blog.



Murph.​
 

Forum statistics

Threads
185,534
Messages
2,875,615
Members
224,922
Latest member
Randy Towles
Top