Boost Creep's got it right. 12V+ to the green wire with everything else as Hella describes will let the lights run independently.
That said, I find Hella's included diagrams to be hard to read. Here's a quickie diagram of how I'd wire them, which is following Boost Creep's advice above and follow's Hella's unusual wiring color conventions.
If you indeed had continuity across pins 30 and 87 (that's the red and black wires according to Hella), then there is indeed something wrong with your relays. I find it doubtful that you'd get two bad relays, though... that'd be a hell of a coincidence, though possible, I suppose. You
should, however, have continuity across pins 86 and 87 (blue and yellow in Hella parlance).