Higher lift means less back spacing. You would be surprised how much better a lifted vehilce handles with a wider rim, wider stance, and tire. I've been lifting XJ's for about 15 years. I've tried just about every lift and tire size (not the megas, but up to a 38"er). The main thing about the XJ is you can't be afraid to do a little trimming. With a 31x10.50 tire, and a 15x8 with 3.75" bs, you'll most likely not rub. XJ fenders will handle a max 31" tire without trimming and near stock BS. Trimming will be the front fenders, and be limitted to the front of the fender, and the pinch seam. Rear should be fine. Really depends on how soft the suspension system is, and how much compression you get. At most, very minor trimming.
You can run a 4.75" rim, But, you will loose some stability, which on a Jeep that hits the streets is unsafe IMOP. You will also hit the CA's with the tire at full turn. I've run a 4.5" RE/Tereflex lift with 32x11.50's, and a 15x10" rim with 3.5"es of BS. That was a perfect set-up Nothing major. Stock gear was fine with that. My final set-up with 35's and RE DB's was fantastic on the road with same rims.
All matter of opinion, and definitely how your suspension is set-up. I would go wider stance.