Hey Grim,
I'm curious why solenoids and not relays? I know that solenoids are the industry standard, but is there any reason a relay wouldn't work as well?
Either would work. Solenoids are usually rated higher working amperage for a cheaper price. The down side is they require more amperage to engage. The one listed in that link is $19 and rated 80 amps. Probably draws 2 amps to energize.
If you use a Relay you just need to make sure its rated well beyond what you fuse it at. A TRUE 80 amp relay is about $40-50 and probably draws less then 1/2 amp to engage. Now something to watch out for, A lot of what says its a relay when you search "80amp relay" is actually solenoids.
The one upside to a solenoid design is they have a heavier spring they work against and if something bad happens they will be less likely to weld the contacts together and get stuck engaged with no power to the energizing circuit.
Since we are starting to get more in depth with this One thing to keep in mind is when you run a house battery down on the trailer and then charge it off the vehicle is when it starts charging its going to pull a lot of current and its pretty rough on the alternator. Make sure your alternator is in good shape.
Japanese cars in particular often run the bare minimum alternator especially if it doesn't have power options (windows locks A/C). A 4cyl pickup from the 80's probably only has a 40-50 amp alternator. My tow pig burb has a 120 amp alternator as part of the tow package to deal with the need to charge house battery on a camper.
Swapping an alternator is usually not a big deal and often within the same brand you can find an alternator that will work with the stock mounts but better rated...for instance I know my 89 Supra had a 90 amp alternator and its the same size and shape as a 86 Carrolla that came with a 45amp rated alternator.
Now be careful with alternator swaps becaseu there is more too it then just the alternator. The charge wire back to the battery may not handle the extra current of a second battery so grabbing your power there for the second battery may cause you problems like blown charge fuses or fusible links. If you are doing a charge upgrade to deal with a house battery on a trailer I'd recommend bypassing all of the tow vehicles wiring and connect at the main lug on the alternator with a Fuse or circuit breaker and a solenoid (or relay) to disconnect when the key is off. That will keep from putting any extra load on the stock wiring.