Carl, how much lift is on your tj? Once you get over about 2 - 3" of lift, and you stay with "short" control arms, you start transferring alot of energy from the terrain into your frame, rather than up through your springs and shocks. No shock in the world will fix this, it is a byproduct (one of many) of poor suspension geometry on a linked suspension. Some will help, but the root cause is still there.....so this may be a partial cause of you getting beat up by rough roads.
I do agree that the DT's that so many places are pushing off on people are crap. Last time in Baja, I bent the rod on one and sheared the bar pin on another one....They were replaced with Rancho RSX's (and the bar pins eliminated...and the lower end of the shock moved outboard a few inches to hide them behind the rear lower control arms). I am fairly happy with so far (only have them on the rear), but there really is a difference when you get out of the $50 - $75 shocks and into the $140, rebuildable, custom valved shocks out there (like FOX, SAW, etc)---but again, these will not stop the energy transfer through the control arm to the frame if the suspension geometry is not right...they will just control the tires up/down movement better.