The other part of family - advice on traveling with elderly folks

[katuah]

Hi all, wasn't quite sure where to post this but I figured I'd try the family section first. I've committed to taking my 81-year-old mom on the first half of a multi-week Southwestern (US) overland / backcountry trip this spring, and I'd like some advice on how to make the trip more enjoyable for her. The flip side of kid camping: elder camping. I'm sure it will present its own set of unique challenges.

The details: We'll be mostly tent camping out of my Jeep, occasionally at developed campgrounds, occasionally at primitive locations, and maybe a motel or two along the way. She's an old hand at car camping, boy can I tell some tales of our family adventures when I was a kid in the 70s, but a lot of that experience is long ago now. I know I have to get some better sleeping pads (a 2" Thermarest probably ain't gonna cut it), but beyond better sleeping conditions is there anything specific you'd recommend for camp equipment or setup?

Also, in terms of planning, both route and activities - are there any sites or books that do a better job of describing trails in terms of their difficulty for older folks? I know on other trips we have sometimes used kid-specific recommendations, but the two aren't always looking at the same sorts of things. Mom has no major chronic health issues that I know of, but she's certainly not as nimble or resilient as she was eight or ten years ago when we last were hiking around in Moab, Bryce, Zion and such. Her knees and hips aren't up to rock-hopping or steep slopes, but she still wants to get out and see stuff.

Thanks in advance for anything you wish to offer. We will all get there one day, and I'm hoping my kid will take me on some adventures too when I'm 81. Might as well set a good example.

 

[nwoods]

Unless your 81 year old mom is oriental and regularly practises some form of martial arts, I would highly suggest getting a cot, and keeping her off the ground. It will be MUCH easier for her to get up and down out of a cot than off the floor.

I would also urge you to be sensitive to bladder issues. Jeeps are bouncy. Bouncy is not always good

 

[762X39]

I took my dad on my fall hunting trip and compared to previous years he has really slowed down. Because I knew this, I took my time getting to the cottage, made lots of rest stops and made sure I didn't have a timeline that I needed to stick to. The best advice is to slow down, if you are on a schedule, rethink it so your mom enjoys the trip.

 

[XJINTX]

Unless your 81 year old mom is oriental and regularly practises some form of martial arts, I would highly suggest getting a cot, and keeping her off the ground. It will be MUCH easier for her to get up and down out of a cot than off the floor.

I would also urge you to be sensitive to bladder issues. Jeeps are bouncy. Bouncy is not always good

I TOTALLY agree with this... I'm old 63 and have tent camped all my life. We just returned from a 10 day tent camping trip in COLD weather. My wife is not quite as old but likes tent camping too. I have a OZ tent and must say when we added COTS to our gear it makes it much more enjoyable and plain comfy we use thermarest pads too . Another big PLUS is the tent we can stand up in. In the morning it's nice to stand loosen up and change cloths rather than sit all crunched up. Times before the OZ we used a shower tent as a changing / bath room... might be a thought.
CONGRATS on having an 81 yr old Mom that still wants to get out in the wilderness. BIG CONGRATS to you on wanting to take her and make the trip as good as you can for her!!!!

 

[4x4x4doors]

Interesting question. Is there a marketing opportunity that someone should be researching?

Your "average" 81 year old is not as clearly defined as your "average" 30 year old. My own mother at 81 was interested in me trying to figure out why her lawnmower required 5-6 pulls to start. My MIL, at the same age, was wanting us to move the upholstered chair from one corner to the other of the same room. Capabilities vary greatly.

As we (wife and I) age, we are most interested in being comfortable and sticking somewhat to our regular schedules (breakfast at a given time, lunch 4 hours --not 5 hours-- later).

Being the mom, she may be reluctant to put you to any trouble but encourage her to let you know what she wants and when she wants it.

One other thing that I pass along (perhaps too often) is to make sure to allow for rest and stretch stops while driving. Every two hours works out well for us.

 

[155mm]

My parents are getting older too; although not quite up there as yours.

I agree with the cot idea. Also, get some trekking poles for her to use. My parents found it a great help, even on fairly level dirt surfaces. They were invaluable when the ground became uneven. Just take the time for her to get familiar with them, and show her how to use them to put her weight on the straps.

It sounds like you are already sensitive to the needs of others, so you already know to keep an eye on her condition and can probably judge when she's getting tired, hungry, etc.

 

[katuah]

Very very good ideas here, thank you all. No martial arts grandma, just a tough old mountain lady. The cot/tent thing probably should have been obvious in retrospect, but I'm so used to backpacking-style camping with small tent & small gear that I tend to forget there are other things in between that and All-Out ExPo Rooftop Mega-Tents. ;-) Any suggestions on a good but not crazy expensive cot or taller tent?

I had already been thinking a lot about the flexibility and timing of the trip; we will need to have some hard dates, such as her flight home, and camping at Chaco (want to get that reserved ahead!), but I'm trying to build in a lot of "flex" otherwise, so we have the time to stop often. I cant help the bouncy Jeep, but she knows it is bouncy and wants to come anyway. See the aforementioned "stop often". Portable toilet & wag bags will already be in the gear, as the later part of the trip includes 2-3 days in the Maze.

4x4x4doors, my mom and yours would probably commiserate on how they dont make lawn mowers like they used to, perhaps followed by a discussion on how their yards seem to have grown in size. ;-)

The hardest part may be the food. I like sampling regional cuisine. My mom seems to prefer a limited palate of meat & veggies liberally augmented with processed sugar-based snacks. Seeing as how I don't want to make my way cross-country on a diet of Little Debbie and doughnuts, it's going to be interesting.

Trekking poles, another good idea, maybe I can get her to use them if I can learn to as well ;-)

 

[doug720]

We have taken my 75 yo mom and 83 yo fil on a few trips with us, but we travel in a motor home. Mom drives well and he fly's in most often. But we also do have them travel with us sometimes. Both are in pretty good shape, but, as touched on earlier...many things change as we age, including:

Bathroom - Maybe a portable?

Altitude - If not acclimated, this can be very hard on them, making them tired

Cold - They don't take cold very well

Chairs - Bring them a comfy chair

Bouncing around - This tended to affect my fil more than mom, but both were sore and stiff after a mild trip to a Sierra lake to fish

Sleeping - As mentioned, make their arrangements as comfortable as possible and a cot helps as they are easier to rise from

Food - Make things they like

Medicines - Fil had a couple that were affected by altitude, so now we check before he goes

Nighttime - Buy a good head light set up, as their night vision tends to be poor

Both mom and fil like to fish and shoot, so I made sure we went to places they could do these activities. You should have seen the faces, they really enjoyed this!

Hope this helps and enjoy time with them, if you have kids, make sure they ask them questions about camping and activities they know. Both get a great deal from this.

 

[155mm]

I have two of the cots you can get at Walmart for around $50-55 each. It may be Coleman brand, but I'd have to go look to remember. It doesn't have crossbars; the sleeping surface is suspended by coilsprings and it comes with a sleeping pad that folds up with it. They are really quite comfortable, I like them!

 

[katuah]

Mom came to visit over MLK and we went gear shopping together. She and I both really like the Big Agnes Big House tent, the access door is huge and she will be able to stand up inside. She hated most of the cots we could find, though - very heavy, very tall, very short, etc. - so we are now considering one of those double-tall air mattresses. Anybody use these?

 

[shortbus4x4]

Awesome. My grandmother was camping well into her mid eighties, with kids, grandkids, and great grand kids. I did have to give her an arm to steady herself on getting into the swimming hole, big slippery rocks. Having a bathroom close by is important. Her biggest thing was being able to get up out of bed, a good cot or raised sleeping platform is important. Having a walking stick to help steady herself works great for hikes, their balance isn't as good and when they fall they don't bounce back up like you do when you're young. My grandmother is 93 now and the last year she went camping was when she was 88, I hope I can do as well as her.

 

[katuah]

So, as a follow up:
-- Big Agnes Big House tent was a total winner. I have never loved a tent so much. You can STAND UP in it, it holds up to wind astonishingly well for its height, but it's still lightweight and easy to pitch. Perfect for Mom and as it turns out, perfect for family car camping.
-- Exped MegaMat also a mega-winner.
-- What was a fail, it turns out, is not making Mom agree to a cot. (She hated most of them for being either too tall or too short, but we didnt consider that the pad would add several inches to the short ones.) She had a lot of difficulty getting up from the ground, especially at night. A cot would have solved that completely. I will get one if she ever wants to go on another trip.
-- Another fail was not getting a different kind of sleeping bag for her. Due to various aches and pains she has trouble sleeping in the positions required for being fully enclosed in a mummy-style bag. She kept having to sleep with the bag partially unzipped, which made her cold. In retrospect I should have gotten her a more traditional square-style bag, even if it was huge she probably would still have stayed warmer. Another alternative would be to get a tent heater, but I'm not sure how safe I'd feel sleeping with one going.
-- Not precisely a fail but more of a learning experience: I have now purchased the vestibule for the tent, specifically to use as a place for a porta-pottie at night. Old knees and hips dont do well with walking very far in the cold and dark to deal with bodily emissions. Heck, MY knees dont like it that much.
-- I had headlamps, flashlights, clip lights, etc stashed everywhere, and that was good; Mom never had to search far for more light.
-- Get a routine going and stick with it, so you are eating around the same times, etc. This is especially important for older folks who need to take medications and such at the same times daily.
We had a good trip (as you can probably tell if you read my trip report), and I thank everyone who responded on here, you really helped me prepare and make this a positive experience.

 

[nwoods]

Glad to hear it. Can you post a link to your trip report?

 

[katuah]

It's in the "Overland Trip Reports" section, called "Old Ladies Overland Adventure Society, or Mom & Me Drive an XJ from NC to Utah". ;-)