I don't value his opinion if that's exactly what he said... he is in fact an idiot to have said that in regards to your tire choice in my opion. Just saying :coffeedrink:
Factory a lot of 3/4 ton trucks run a 235 x 85 16 on a 6.5 inch wide rim. That's a 32x9.5ish inch tall tire on a tall truck. By his logic they should be flipping over catching fire and naming millions every time they pull out of a driveway and totally incapable of pulling a trailer safely by others.
The difference between a 10.5 and a 12.5 on the same rim is 1 inch of width to the outside per side.
Where the extra stability and improved handing would come in is with more so with offset on the wheel then the width of the tire. The TJ's came with what is basically a 31-32 on the Rubies? a 33 is only raising the vehicle 1 in beyond that. You are not changing that drastically.
Now as I pointed out, offset can help restore handling to some extent. If you draw a line thorough the axis of the ball joints where that line hits he road surface ideally that would be close to the center of the tire tread. This as well as Castor angle is where most "Death Wobble" comes in. To much or too little offset coupled with tire width allows the road to exert pull on the tire and start oscillating from one tire to the other. The larger the diameter tire the more offset you would need to make that work correct and the wider the tire is the worse the problem will be. Again you are not changing the tire diameter over stock a great deal over the factory available sizes so should be minimal problems. Again the skinnier tire will cause less issues with death wobble because you are going from a 9.5 inch factory width tire to a 10.5.
2.5 inch lift unless it has really soft springs should not make a huge difference in handling. A heavier Sway bar with disconnects would be able to offset the softer spring while improving offroad performance. Yes you need to treat it with respect and learn where its new limits are and yes they will be different but that is going to be because of the lift not the tire width.
Unsprung weight is bad for ride because it is more mass the suspension has to fight to keep control of. Tire and wheel weight play heavily into acceleration, braking and MPG. The lighter the better for all the above . So running a 10.5 on a light Aluminum rim would improve all of the above over a 12.5.
Enjoy the tire size you want for the reason you want it. :smiley_drive:
Edit: BTW did you steal your location from mine over at Pirate? LOL