1976 Land Rover Series III 109 build "Montoya"

[Factoid]

Mike, I was cracking up, too...as long as he wasn't looking. Friends have to support friends, regardless of their blatant stupidity. Said geologist's reasons for bad acting? Wife of 30 years was no longer delivering oral rewards. Little regard for proper favors if you ask me. Hmmm...

Anyway, last night the wife delivered on the short rib challenge. On New Year's Eve, we had dinner with two couples at a local hoity-toity caravansary. One of the wives proclaimed the short ribs, "the best she had ever eaten." Okay, so my wife is not only a master chef, but incredibly competitive. Not to be out done, she stuck her fork in the meaty goodness and in a snarky, dry voice muttered, "not bad, but a C at best." The competition was on! Now there would be a loser, but the big winner was me.

So, at 8:30 last night, a news anchor, a hand surgeon, an A-10 pilot, an F-15 pilot, a chef, and a Landy owner sat down to the best damn short rib dinner imaginable. Even after a couple of rounds of margaritas and dirty martinis, followed by several bottles of 2011 Caymus Cabernet, as the plates were placed on the table and the force of our guests eye contact caused the meaty morsels to fall into neat, bite size portions, all agreed there was no topping these short ribs. Success!

Unfortunately, that was followed by a couple rounds of single malt (Dahlwinnie last night) and a cigar. This morning, I'm in no shape for running power tools. However, I'm pounding Emergen-C, so we shall see. I would at least like to clean up, paint, and reassemble the front axel...

 

[Factoid]

Ha, front axel primed and swivels assembled. That was about all I could manage today. I need a nap. I'm sorry I was so mean to naps as a kid. They rock.

 

[ersatzknarf]

I've figured out all of the connections, except this simple one. Where does the other end of this breather go? Air box? Intake? Probably a dumb question...

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Just found your thread, thank you ! :sombrero:

Very much enjoying your writing and wit, sir :ylsmoke:


IIRC, pretty sure that the other end goes to the air box . . . it's been a while.

Frickin' sweet lookin' 109 you scored there :beer:

 

[wreckdiver1321]

Your thread is just about the most entertaining thing I've read in a while. Keep up the great work!

 

[Factoid]

Thanks, team, I appreciate the positive affirmations. Just having fun and telling the tales of life.

By the way, I did share my friend's transgressions with the wife. You see, we are couple friends. Not guy to guy or gal to gal, but friends as couples. That's an important distinction. It is also one my straying amigo doesn't like. His main squeeze (seems an appropriate designation for his wife as it implies she is primary, but perhaps not singularly) met my wife at the gym before we met as couples. They see each other often and apparently my strongly opinionated partner is a "good listener" and knew more details than I ever wanted to know. In fact, more than I want to ever know and are visually haunting in my minds eye even as I type this post. In fact, more than you want or need to know!

Sorry, so I'll get back on track. Ronin, as we shall now call him given his lack of favor in the eyes of his master and perhaps pending lack of home, is afraid of my wife. Understandable. She is a 5'11" blonde buxom beauty who has been a kick boxer for over 25 years and has as of late taken up training from retired world champion boxer Jessie James Leija at his local gym. Apparently, she has been coaching Ronin's master in how to handle Ronin and it has been very effective. I wish I knew that prior to spilling my gut as my pure motive in sharing with the head chef was to skillfully, through the gift of oratory persuasion, craft an understanding of why he strayed that would subliminally reinforce a life long continuation of oral favor. My hopes were dashed when she gave me the look and said, "don't even try it, baby." And then after a pause added, "you have nothing to worry about."

Balance returned to the world, at least my world, and my psyche in sync with nature I can now return to Landy labor. I'm home early and there were packages for me at the top of the driveway, so more to come.

 

[Factoid]

Oh, she's also handy in the garage. Here she is dropping the engine in the Cobra. She's a keeper.

 

[Factoid]

Got crackin' today! Broke out the pressure washer and some foaming oven cleaner. But first I took a putty knife to check the thickness of the greasy, dirty unholiness that 40 years of seepage causes. It was dense and dank. Half an inch thick in some places. Scraped it off and then covered all the special bits with foaming lemon scented Lowes oven cleaner. Warning: this crap eats paint for breakfast and it will stain aluminum. However, to get to the paint it has to eat through all the grease and gunk. And eat it does! Sprayed it on, waited about 15 and hit it with the 25 degree pressure washer nozzle. Mines a cheap little electric job with 1600 psi. It cut through all that grossness like butter. I covered the snout of the tranny and blasted all that old engine oil out of the bell housing. First I tried a rag soaked in lacquer thinner thinking I should try and remove some of the larger chunks. The crud just laughed at my feeble efforts and shredded the rag leaving bits of Italian flag terry cloth strewn around the engine bay. Yes, I stole one of my daughters old beach towels. I'm not proud.

The pressure washer was sweet revenge! Remember this:



Well, it now looks like this which might not look a whole lot different, but I assure you it is pristine. You know you're playing with the big boys when your degreaser used in conjunction with the pressure washer even removes undercoating. And don't let the lame attempt of adding a lemon scent to the oven cleaner lull you into a false sense of confidence that it is a benign chemical. This crap is like lemon flavored phosgene gas. Anyway, check it out now:



That's **************'. I also adjusted the swivel balls. Damn they are correctly named. More like a pain in the swivel balls. Add a shim, torque to 60, check the tension,
Add a shim, torque to 60, check the tension,
Subtract a shim, torque to 60, check the tension,
Add a shim, torque to 60, check the tension,
Add a shim, torque to 60, check the tension,
Subtract a shim, torque to 60, check the tension,
Add a shim, torque to 60, check the tension,
Add a shim, torque to 60, check the tension,
Subtract a shim, torque to 60, check the tension,

Ragnar Loftbrook! Finally, and before you point out that my swivel biotch is on the wrong way. I'm only using the axel housing as my vice:



And finally, I lubed up the gators so I can install them tomorrow. It said use vasoline, but I only had astroglide. I'm figuring on hard braking the hot scent of personal lubricant will make me a big hit at the local grocer. Watch out cougars, here I come!

 

[Factoid]

Okay, so the mom jeans probably gave it away. I'm not sophisticated enough to own anything other than vasoline. Had a giant Costco sized vat. Worked good.

 

[Factoid]

Long, but productive day! Beat the snot out of the frame with a wire brush on the 3 1/2" grinder. I looked like hell, but the frame looks great. Snot is an appropriate word. I tried some Eastwood internal frame coating and it is green. Cranked up my air compressor first and shot air into every frame hole I could find. Little pieces of rust and dust shot out of every other hole. Hmm, good plan. Pumped 150 psi into every hole I could find until no more crap came out. Stuck the internal frame coating 2' wand into a frame hole and sprayed away. I put that **** on everything! Suddenly I noticed that green snot was dripping out of every hole. I think I sealed it up, but the wife is unhappy with the new colors on the driveway. When this project is done, I'm going to have to find a way to remove a variety of Land Rover drippings from my poor driveway.



I also sleeved the pinion on the front axel. It still had the original leather seal and it wore a nice groove into the pinion. Ten seconds on the press and presto, all ready to go back into the truck.



The wife has a "procedure" tomorrow and is all pissy. She can't eat, so I am banished from the castle if I eat anything that smells good and reminds her that she can't eat. I'm sitting in the driveway enjoying one of Domino's finest as I type this note. Speaking of which, have you lads ever read the story of agent picolax? Long, but worth a read: http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/t...eatest-violent-poo-story-ever-told.452628177/

 

[wreckdiver1321]

That story nearly killed me

 

[Factoid]

I know, makes life worth livin'.

 

[blauvelt]

first glance I thought that was an SOHC motor. Enjoying your build stories. keep it coming.

Oh, she's also handy in the garage. Here she is dropping the engine in the Cobra. She's a keeper.

View attachment 386013

 

[Factoid]

Nah, it was a 351w bored and stroked to the magic number (427), but the Cobra was a Kirkham 289 fia car. I really miss the damn thing!

The wifey stayed at the resort last night with a bunch of her friends (big girls sleep over). She was really looking forward to it. Spa treatment, drink, stay up late, drink, party hardy and all that. She called me last night at 11:00, "these girls are boring. They're already falling asleep." Age is the great equalizer. When you come full circle and realize sleep is cool. I on the other hand, binged on horror movies that she hates, ate nachos, and passed out on the couch. I did get up early and went right to the garage.

On to the Landy. Front frame is done! Started bolting everything back together. This is the work I like. No grease, dirt, limited cussing, plus it starts to look gooooood!

This bad boy is getting disk brakes and as you saw earlier the swivels were dry and crusty, so all new shiny stuff up front. But, here's my weekend beef. Rovers North sent the front spring rear bolts with nuts, but the front spring front bolts didn't come with nuts. Did you ever try to find two 9/16 fine thread nylocks on a Saturday? McMaster will get a call Monday. Oh yeah, need them for the upper shock bolts too. Always something...







Heh, heh Montoya coughed up the final missing piece of my daughter's old Italy towel. I wondered where that last piece went...

 

[Factoid]

And then, boom, stopped in my tracks like a deer in the headlights. By the way, if you do see a deer in the headlights and you have the time (bastages usually jump out of a bush right in front of you and then stop like they are just daring you to hit them and smash up your car giving you about a nanosecond to react). I hit one going about 20 mph when I lived in PA when it was about 7 degrees. The entire plastic grill, bumper, radiator surround, and radiator on my GMC Envoy exploded into thousands of tiny plastic shards. The deer smirked and ran off. Anyway, lean on the horn. Seems to work.

I could have sworn I had a set of inner hub bearings. I looked everywhere, but nope. Got everything all ready, bolted on the stub axels, looking good. Bolted the rotors to the hubs, found the outer bearings and inner seals, looked for the inner bearings, but no bueno. As I was considering what inanimate option I would kick, I glanced up and there was the effing cat sitting on top of the front drivers seat back! This isn't some run of the mill alley cat. She is the queen of scruffy, face chewed, ear gnawed, flea infested (not really, my wife treats her like royalty but she looks all flea bitten), mangy mess, whose white face fur is usually coated in the crusty blood of her most recent victim (usually a cute little anole or harmless snake). She was a rescue from an inbred group of narrow eyed gangsters and is the definition of white trash. If she was green, she would look like the grinch.

Once, she got trapped in our storage unit under the house. We live on top of a hill and the back of the house slopes down. There are no basements in SATX, but the slope of the backyard afforded the opportunity to build a walk in 10 x 15 storage area. Two thirds is full of my car parts from 30 years of wrenching. Some are probably worth something, but I figure my heirs can cash in. I almost turned it into a wine cellar, but that would mean I would need to fill it up with wine and that would cut into my car budget...nope. Plus Shiner Bock is my life blood. She was in there for three days. The wife was freaking out. I stated that I had seen a Mexican eagle swooping down in the culdesac at the top of our driveway and thought I caught a flash of white fur as it caught an updraft and flew off. That little comment earned me a crappy dinner. The wife found her while putting away Christmas decorations. It was a touching reunion.

So fuktard, as I refer to the scruffy grinch, is sitting in my Rover! As I glare at her, I can see her putrid fur cloud spreading over every surface. She is dead meat! She half closes her eyes which pulls up the corners of her mouth. Now she's laughing at me! She watches as I run to the front door and just as I yank open the front drivers door, she jumps off the seat back, bounces off the seat bottom and slips effortlessly through the open floor where I removed the panel to get at the bell housing bolts. I'm an animal lover, but I despise this inbred half coyote. It probably has something to do with the time she managed to get in our bedroom and left me a little Dairy Queen chocolate twist on my pillow. I hate her.

Well, absent wheel bearings, I installed the rear roof rack ladder and front bumper. I feel accomplished!





Hmm, the beer frig is getting low. All the blonde crap is the wife's. Shiner is tasty!

 

[blauvelt]

That is a proper stuffed fridge. Making my annual homage out to SA next month for work. Always head back Wednesday morning, always have a conference call that I have take and for safety reasons it is best done while stationary. For some reason that call always takes place in Flatonia. By the time it is done it is usually around lunch time, so one must, "when in Rome"...go to the Spoetzal Brewery.

Hmm, the beer frig is getting low. All the blonde crap is the wife's. Shiner is tasty!

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