...Apart from the cost of a 4wd van, I'm trying to get an idea of the costs (high side to low side) to install these items (including associated subsystems, e.g. pump for sink and shower; containers for black and grey water; electrical outlets and wiring; etc) in a van.
Toilet
Shower
2 or 3 burner stove
Oven
Good 3 way fridge
Microwave
Sound proofing
Insulation
Electrical outlets (how many do I need?)
Generator and associated wiring
House batteries and associated wiring
Battery display
...
Disclaimer: Prices listed below are rough estimates based on retail as though you were building your camper out of a catalog with the least expensive components. Buying used, wholesale, on sale, clearance, eBay, etc can lower prices considerably on most items. Buying deluxe, premium or specialty components can likewise raise prices from those listed below.
1)Toilet is either going to be:
a) porta-potty ~$50+
b) rv flush toilet (~$100+) with black tank (~$100+), water pump (~$60+), fresh tank ($varies widely depending on layout, volume, etc) and plumbing to connect it all (again, varies widely on layout)
c) composting toilet (~$1000+)
d) incinerating toilet (~$1500+) requires 20A 120v power (2400w generator, 2400w inverter, etc)
Hot water is either going to be:
a) solar shower bag heated by the sun ~$25+
b) rv propane tank-style water heater ~$450+ (with external door, not generally included but necessary unless you build a custom hatch) (models available that can also use 110v)
c) rv propane tankless water heater ~$120+
d) heat exchanger using engine coolant ~$125
e) hydronic water heater ~$2000 (requires diesel van or diesel tank added to gas van)
Shower enclosure is going to be:
a) curtain hung outside $10+
b) curtain and basin temporarily set inside $15+
c) permanent enclosure inside ~$400+ for basin and enclosure plus faucet ~$25+, plus shower head, hose, etc ~$25+
(also see plumbing requirements for rv flush toilet, 1b)
Stove is going to be:
a) portable 2-3 burner propane stove $25+ (requires propane, from 1lb cylinder typically, ~$3 per)
b) fixed 2-3 burner propane stove $75+ (requires propane, either from 1lb cylinders or 20 lb portable, 10 gallon frame mounted, etc, $3-500)
c) fixed diesel stove ~$1,400 (requires diesel van or diesel tank added to gas van)
3-way fridge is not something I'd recommend personally. Absorption fridges (ice from fire) are inefficient and temperamental whereas compressor fridges are as dependable as the one in your home (same principles at work) and fit more cooling than a 3-way in the same space and don't require external venting, unlike a 3-way.
a) 3-way fridge ~$650+
b) dc compressor fridge ~$650+
Microwave
They're all about the same. The less complicated the better. Just pick one you like. ~$100
Sound proofing
Varies widely depending on materials chosen and how thoroughly you cover the van. You can spend $5 to $5,000
Insulation
Varies widely depending on materials chosen and how thoroughly you cover the van. You can spend $5 to $5,000
Electrical outlets (how many do I need?)
Having as few as 1 110v outlet requires either an inverter or a generator or being connected to shore power. The cheapest way to do this a ~$20 inverter and the most expensive but practical way would be a small generator which range from $90-3,000. The expense of the outlet itself and the wiring for it alone would only be ~$20 for a hardmout outlet or a couple bucks for a simple power strip.
Generator and associated wiring
see above, $90-3,000 for 800-4000watts. Available in 2-stroke gas, 4-stroke gas, diesel, or propane
I do not see a generator as necessary or desirable and would use instead: solar panels and charge controller, $100-5,000
House batteries and associated wiring
Can be as cheap as $100 for 1 deep-cycle battery or as much as $2,000 for lithium ion cells.
Battery display
Can be a $3 VOM or as much as $1,000+ for smart algorithm enabled ah tracker.
I know this is probably a load of raw data that'll do you little good for now but I hope it gives you an idea of what specifics need to be nailed down before a stranger can build your budget. Keep in mind these retail prices I've posted are just a bit above what an aftermarket outfitter of vans would pay for most things and the same for others because they can't "shop for deals" they have to buy and install to meet deadlines. This is an advantage of the DIY approach.