Dinner Disasters
- Thread starter rusty_tlc
- Start date
rusty_tlc
Explorer
Last weekend I was at Wentworth Springs, with the Norcal wagon guys. If you haven't heard of them they are a loose knit group of foodies with a wheeling problem. One of their traditions is a communal dinner night. (That's a fancy way of saying "pot luck".)
I decided to do Margarita Pizza on my BBQ using a cast iron griddle as my contribution. Long story short it came out burnt on the bottom and doughy on top. I think I know how to do it now but 20/20 hind sight didn't make that pizza taste any better.
One lesson learned is if you are trying out a new dish for a pot luck get it out early while people are still hungry. I did and there were no leftovers.
So what is your story of shame?
I decided to do Margarita Pizza on my BBQ using a cast iron griddle as my contribution. Long story short it came out burnt on the bottom and doughy on top. I think I know how to do it now but 20/20 hind sight didn't make that pizza taste any better.
One lesson learned is if you are trying out a new dish for a pot luck get it out early while people are still hungry. I did and there were no leftovers.
So what is your story of shame?
swanyo
Observer
For several years Me and a friend of mine have roasted a pig for the 4th of July celebration. We started with small pigs and slowly increased the size until a few years ago we bought a 150lbs pig and decided to roast it. It was double the size of any pig we had done before but we were confident we could manage. We strapped the pig to a pole, built the coal bed and set the pig up on two sawhorses over the coals. The first couple of hours everything was going fine, the beer was flowing, guests were admiring our handy work until disaster. The pig was too big for our strapping and started to come loose. We could no longer turn the pig over the hot coals and it still needed at least another hour or two of cooking time. So in front of all the guests we had to remove the pig and start hacking it apart before it was fully cooked so that we could put parts in the oven and on grills.
We created a huge mess of half rendered pork fat and the guests no longer thought the pig looked so tasty. In the end we salvaged the day, but a few cuss words were said and my buddy who had gone to culinary school was most embarrassed. I just had to laugh because it was truly a sight to behold, and makes for a good story. We have since gone back to smaller more manageable pigs and tried other methods that didn't require us to turn the pig constantly. Last year we finally just ordered the pig from a Filipino who delivered it cooked with sauces and was at least $100 cheaper than we could do ourselves. It was great! But I still like the idea of cooking one ourselves.
We created a huge mess of half rendered pork fat and the guests no longer thought the pig looked so tasty. In the end we salvaged the day, but a few cuss words were said and my buddy who had gone to culinary school was most embarrassed. I just had to laugh because it was truly a sight to behold, and makes for a good story. We have since gone back to smaller more manageable pigs and tried other methods that didn't require us to turn the pig constantly. Last year we finally just ordered the pig from a Filipino who delivered it cooked with sauces and was at least $100 cheaper than we could do ourselves. It was great! But I still like the idea of cooking one ourselves.
Spikepretorius
Explorer
Years ago we decided to do a lamb spitbraai (spitbraai= cooking on a rotisserie over a fire)
We stuffed the lamb and tied it closed and started the long drawn out process of cooking it early in the day. Come evening it was starting to look good and the booze was flowing and everyone was having a great time.
Then, much like the previous story, the lamb started self destructing. Well not really. It started opening and the stuffing was falling out into the fire.
Now everyone was into serious party mode at this stage and had the munchies and they all started grabbing the stuffing as it was falling and eating it. As the process sped up somebody grabbed a spade and scooped up the stuffing and everybody ate off the spade. This went on for hours.
Ok. So everybody had a wonderful time, ate and drank, the lamb got chomped, and eventually the sun came up. Everybody thought the ala carte stuffing was the best part of the party.
Then somebody noticed that the spade that was used for everybody to eat the stuffing was the dogsh*t spade
:Wow1:
We stuffed the lamb and tied it closed and started the long drawn out process of cooking it early in the day. Come evening it was starting to look good and the booze was flowing and everyone was having a great time.
Then, much like the previous story, the lamb started self destructing. Well not really. It started opening and the stuffing was falling out into the fire.
Now everyone was into serious party mode at this stage and had the munchies and they all started grabbing the stuffing as it was falling and eating it. As the process sped up somebody grabbed a spade and scooped up the stuffing and everybody ate off the spade. This went on for hours.
Ok. So everybody had a wonderful time, ate and drank, the lamb got chomped, and eventually the sun came up. Everybody thought the ala carte stuffing was the best part of the party.
Then somebody noticed that the spade that was used for everybody to eat the stuffing was the dogsh*t spade
:Wow1:
ROFLMAO I have to quit reading this stuff during lunch...I now have a sticky keyboard.
If Cheech and Chong can smoke it...
calamaridog
Expedition Leader
I was roasting a whole chicken recently. Several people were anxiously awaiting my lemon garlic roast chicken, as they have all had it before. The bird only needed about 15 minutes more, the side dishes were done, the table was set.
Then I realized the baking dish was about to go dry and burn all my drippings. Quickly, I grabbed some chicken broth and poured it into the pan. This is why I always (except this time) roast in a thick metal pan. The glass pan at my mom's house exploded into a thousand tiny shards, showering the oven with shrapnel.
I closed the oven, turned it off, and announced my intentions to take everyone out to dinner.
Thankfully, I haven't totally ruined a trail meal yet. But I carry a salami just in case.
Then I realized the baking dish was about to go dry and burn all my drippings. Quickly, I grabbed some chicken broth and poured it into the pan. This is why I always (except this time) roast in a thick metal pan. The glass pan at my mom's house exploded into a thousand tiny shards, showering the oven with shrapnel.
I closed the oven, turned it off, and announced my intentions to take everyone out to dinner.
Thankfully, I haven't totally ruined a trail meal yet. But I carry a salami just in case.
pint
Adventurer
A couple years ago I was cooking up 2 beer can chickens over an open fire at Chinn's Lake in CO. The fire pit had a cast iron grate over it, but I had put aluminum foil over that to stabilize the beer cans...all was good and it smelled fantastic until a few minutes before it was done. My buddy had one to many beers and bumped the iron grate. Both chickens tipped over and the entire fire pit damn near exploded! The aluminum foil I had so carefully layed out had collected all the grease and drippings and hit the fire at one time. The freaking flames went from coals to 5 alarm fire shooting 3 feet high in no time flat!! The chickens got burnt to a crisp before I could "rescue" them and we ate hot dogs a little while later...:chef:
Headed back there in a couple weeks. no more beer can chicken!
Headed back there in a couple weeks. no more beer can chicken!
Wanderlusty
Explorer
A couple of years back, on a camping outing with some friends, some of which we had not had any experience camping with. We decided to pay up for the best steaks that money could buy from the local meat market. Somehow, we decided that the perfect (uhh...not) compliment to the steaks would be some of those Country Crock mashed potatoes. I have had those potatoes before, and they are 'good enough' and we thought it would be a good, simple side. But, as we would soon find out, they are not the best idea if you don't have a microwave handy....
We miscalculated the level of help we would get from some on the trip (essentially none...they just sat with fork in hand waiting for US to cook..we are used to more of a team effort) so when I asked for someone to start warming up the 'taters, it took quite some time before someone actually did. In the mean time, the expensive steaks went from 'perfect' to 'overdone" and then cold. We figured out that there is no good way to heat up microwave mashed taters as good as in a microwave. Warming them up in the pan led to under-warm, burnt tasting gunk that only loosely resembled mashed potatoes. And the steaks....ended up way overdone and a disappointment. Since then, we have kept it simpler...and cheaper.
We miscalculated the level of help we would get from some on the trip (essentially none...they just sat with fork in hand waiting for US to cook..we are used to more of a team effort) so when I asked for someone to start warming up the 'taters, it took quite some time before someone actually did. In the mean time, the expensive steaks went from 'perfect' to 'overdone" and then cold. We figured out that there is no good way to heat up microwave mashed taters as good as in a microwave. Warming them up in the pan led to under-warm, burnt tasting gunk that only loosely resembled mashed potatoes. And the steaks....ended up way overdone and a disappointment. Since then, we have kept it simpler...and cheaper.
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rusty_tlc
Explorer
It pains me to even read about over cooked steak.
Wanderlusty
Explorer
Try having had to eat it. It was a car wreck. Anything past medium is a downhill slide for me. I actually prefer something between medium rare and medium. Unfortunately, these were dry and well done. Ugh...pains me to remember it.
rusty_tlc
Explorer
I could never understand friends who hated steak when I was a kid. My mom always cooked steak medium rare. Then I had dinner at a friends house and ate steal well done.
I'd rather eat Tofu.
Weasel Mender
Observer
I feel your pain, one of my friends came over for a steak dinner (one of those charred boot sole for a steak kind of guys) looked at my steak when I cut it and said "Iv'e seen cows hurt worse get well"
Weasel
DarinM
Explorer
speaking of tofu
I actually love the stuff.
I had a minor disaster involving tofu. It wasn't actually while camping or anything, just cooking for myself at home.
When I lived up in Philly, one of my friends gave me some poison habanero hot sauce. Very good stuff, but also very potent.
I was stirfrying some tofu to serve with veggies over couscous and I decided to liven the dish up a bit. So I grabbed the aforementioned poison sauce and dumped probably a teaspoon's worth of it in my wok with the tofu. I tossed the cubes around a bit to get them well coated and then slapped on the lid so they would crisp up a bit.
My mom called as I was waiting and after a few minutes I walked into the kitchen to check on my dinner. As I held the phone in one hand, I leaned over the stove and lifted the top of my wok.
I've been maced before. I've been pepper sprayed before. Until that moment I hadn't actually done it to myself. I could barely hear my mom's concerned questioning over my hacking and coughing. I could barely see my kitchen through my tearing, watery eyes. I managed to get the vent fan running and I turned off the heat just before I staggered out of the kitchen.
My cats were looking at me as though I was an idiot (this is a reversal of our usual roles). My mom showed her usual empathy by laughing hysterically as I told her my sad tale. me: I almost died, mom. Mom: ha ha ha.
I did manage to finish cooking my dinner. It was good. I also showed great intelligence (obviously from dad's side of the family). I now hold my breath when I remove the lid from the wok. I also start the vent fan before I start cooking and I don't call mom with sad stories of my suffering.
Y'all have a good one!
I actually love the stuff.
I had a minor disaster involving tofu. It wasn't actually while camping or anything, just cooking for myself at home.
When I lived up in Philly, one of my friends gave me some poison habanero hot sauce. Very good stuff, but also very potent.
I was stirfrying some tofu to serve with veggies over couscous and I decided to liven the dish up a bit. So I grabbed the aforementioned poison sauce and dumped probably a teaspoon's worth of it in my wok with the tofu. I tossed the cubes around a bit to get them well coated and then slapped on the lid so they would crisp up a bit.
My mom called as I was waiting and after a few minutes I walked into the kitchen to check on my dinner. As I held the phone in one hand, I leaned over the stove and lifted the top of my wok.
I've been maced before. I've been pepper sprayed before. Until that moment I hadn't actually done it to myself. I could barely hear my mom's concerned questioning over my hacking and coughing. I could barely see my kitchen through my tearing, watery eyes. I managed to get the vent fan running and I turned off the heat just before I staggered out of the kitchen.
My cats were looking at me as though I was an idiot (this is a reversal of our usual roles). My mom showed her usual empathy by laughing hysterically as I told her my sad tale. me: I almost died, mom. Mom: ha ha ha.
I did manage to finish cooking my dinner. It was good. I also showed great intelligence (obviously from dad's side of the family). I now hold my breath when I remove the lid from the wok. I also start the vent fan before I start cooking and I don't call mom with sad stories of my suffering.
Y'all have a good one!
77blazerchalet
Former Chalet owner
Bachelor dessert disaster decades ago: put a pan of brownie mix in the oven to bake, went outside and forgot all about it. It didn't burn, all the moisture just got baked out of it. A giant brownie brick that was impossible to cut. It was still edible, though, when I bashed out the amount I wanted to eat each night with a hammer - collected the dust & shards in a bowl, ate it with a spoon. Tasted just like brownies, a little dry perhaps.