Free-Range Kids

[jcbrandon]

Have you seen Free-Range Kids?
http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

It's a blog by Lenore Skenazy. She writes "When I wrote a column for The New York Sun on 'Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Take The Subway Alone,' I figured I’d get a few e-mails pro and con. Two days later I was on the Today Show, MSNBC, FoxNews and all manner of talk radio with a new title under my smiling face: 'America’s Worst Mom?'”

So yesterday was “Take Our Children to the Park & Leave Them There Day.”

Sorry I'm a bit late on the uptake. I only learned about this just now.


I think I can guess where most ExPo parents fit into this conversation. I'd like to think their response is "What's the fuss? My kids play outside alone all the time. And they carry pocket knives."

Am I right? Is that the general parental perspective in our community? If not, what is?

 

[CoastalDefender]

I'd like to think their response is "What's the fuss? My kids play outside alone all the time. And they carry pocket knives."

Yeah, that's us.

 

[articulate]

Her book of the same title is a riot.

 

[Nay]

It's usually Free Range Dads vs. Helicopter Moms these days :ylsmoke:

 

[shogun]

It's usually Free Range Dads vs. Helicopter Moms these days :ylsmoke:

And we know who'll win that fight.

I have two examples, one family and one friend, whose sons are the dreaded live in the basement when they're 35, and dont get a job, because mom overrode dad when it came time to kick them out of the nest.

 

[Nay]

And we know who'll win that fight.

I have two examples, one family and one friend, whose sons are the dreaded live in the basement when they're 35, and dont get a job, because mom overrode dad when it came time to kick them out of the nest.

That's why you gotta explore while they're young. That way they'll be losing their minds sitting around your house just like you :sombrero:

 

[UK4X4]

at 9 I'd have left the house after breakfast and return for dinner,

out on my bicycle exploring, I'd easily end up the far side of the next town on a good day, or just spend the entire days building "camps" on the heath behind the house with my dog, equiped with saw,axe and sheath knife


My daughter will be expo trained in the same way ! freedom to the kids !

9 on the NY subway- suppose that depends on if you live there, probably safer than cycling !

 

[762X39]

Ah, it brings back fine memories.At 4 (in Brandon Manitoba) I would ride my tricycle everywhere.Apparently I rode it right out of town and a nice farm couple took me in, gave me icecream and the local constabulary gave me a ride home.There wasn't much fuss but I rode my bike out of town for years (including a cycle camping trip in my early 20's) after that.I always thought (and still do) that go play outside was a good thing.

 

[kletzenklueffer]

Maybe there's a trend in the exploration spirit and the freedom enjoyed as a child?! Likewise, my bike took me everywhere within 5-10 miles of home, and the sunset was the cue to start heading home. We had 1,500 acres of untouched forest across the street from my house, with another couple thousand within a 1/4 mile, and the largest man-made lake in the US within a five minute walk. These combined into enormous adventures, and by time I was driving me and my friends called each other up and said "Wanna go exploring?" Which meant to head down every dirt road we saw, weekend overnight trips to the beach 350 miles away, adventures as an abandoned nuclear facility and more. I strive to get my son to embrace the fun of taking off and discovering for himself. I want to equip him with a few things that I never had, like some basic land nav skills, self defense, etc.

 

[Lynn]

When I was a kid I ran all over the neighborhood, walked to the elementary school maybe five miles away, and walked to my buddy's house that was about three miles out of town (pulling my GI Joe jeep behind me...). When I got a little older I regularly rode my Honda MiniTrail 50 along the ditch banks to my friends house maybe 10 miles away.

Now my girls (4 and 6) play in the fenced back yard unsupervised, but are supervised otherwise. They are playing more and more with the neighborhood kids, and will get a little more 'freedom' to do so as they get older. But with one registered, and who knows how many unregistered, sex offenders in the neighborhood, they will be kept on a fairly short leash. They get the 'stranger danger' warnings drilled into them on a regular basis.

I know us kids got more 'freedom' in the good ole days, but I continue to hear about things that happened back then that just weren't talked about. I keep meeting grown adults are or were in counseling to resolve decades-old abuses. I don't really think it was safer back then; we were just happy in our ignorance.

Call me paranoid if you like, but that's the way it is around our house.

 

[nwoods]

It is different now, certainly, compared to when I was a kid. I grew up in Michigan, where there are no fences. Like UK4x4, I'd leave in the morning, come home after dark, having free range of huge tracts of land. There was an entire forest between me and my friends, and many an adventure to be had. It would have taken days for our parents to find us should they have the need....

Now, in the much more densely populated California, with multiple registered offenders about, and what seems like monthly reported "approaches" to young girls in the nearby jr. high (that my son also attends), it is a different world altogether. We let our son walk to school, but only in a group of other neighbor kids.

Out in the boonies though, I enjoy hiking away from camp with the kids, then letting them find their own way back....with an FRS radio and whistle, and yes, jackknives on a lanyard around their neck.

 

[wanderer-rrorc]

my kiddo's out playin in her pool (2ft deep she's 4ft tall)...im headin to the garage where the window that can see her is open and I can keep an eye on her...one of the dogs is out with her...and we live in a "safe" area..

I dont know if I would let a 9yr old ride the subway..depends on the 9yr old..

growin up my brothers and I would take off in the mornin..and be home for dinner..rode thousands of miles over many summers!!..but we never paniced..and KNEW what was safe and what wasnt...

I let my kido have that kind of freedom and responsablity for herself..but thats just teachin them what they need to know..and having faith..

 

[Superu]

I know us kids got more 'freedom' in the good ole days, but I continue to hear about things that happened back then that just weren't talked about. I keep meeting grown adults are or were in counseling to resolve decades-old abuses. I don't really think it was safer back then; we were just happy in our ignorance.

Call me paranoid if you like, but that's the way it is around our house.

I think it's a bit of both. I rode everywhere on my bike when I was a kid and encountered the occasional creepy looking character, but I was usually with a group of my friends and we knew how to turn and split when things didn't feel right.

The 24hr news cycle does tend to make us more paranoid by bringing every horrible event to our doorstep every minute of the day, but I do think there are more "troubled" people out on the streets than there were before the grand plan of de-institutionalization caught hold in the 70's.

My 9 year old alone on the subway? I'll pass on that one. There are plenty of opportunities for him to develop his independence without what I would consider needless risk. :ylsmoke:

 

[5Runner]

IMO my kids are "free-range", but maybe not in the subway riding respect being discussed here. I am speaking more figuratively than geographically.

I try to teach my kids the boundaries of their environment, items, etc. and why, and then give them freedom within those boundaries to make the right choices and the wrong choices. This way they practice making decisions early and learning about the consequences of bad decisions and the satisfaction of good decisions. Hopefully if they learn this young with "small" stuff (broken lamp, glue on couch) they will be more prepared with "big" stuff.

For example: I teach my kids the boundaries of using glue. It is for glueing stuff that needs to be glued, that's it. Then I teach them some good advice about glue, "it's messy and is easy to spill...I would only use it at your arts and crafts table if I were you". Then if I see them with the glue on the table, I remind them of my "good advice" to use the glue at their table, and the rest is up to them. Yes, there is risk in it for me by allowing them to mess up, but that's the cost of parenting. If they get glue on the couch, they would get in big trouble, but I give them the chance make the right choice on their own. I think this is better than just telling them to "get off the couch with that glue!"

I figure this is what we all do in life. We break rules sometimes, and push things to their limit other times...but we had to learn the limits and how to weigh when breaking rules is warrant.

Anyway, I think this is raising your child "free range" let them experience the good and bad in life, within boundaries that they trust and feel safe within. As they grow, the boundaries get larger.

kids, 3, 5, 7, but no way they would be on a subway alone at age 9.

I also think that there are probably just as many weirdos, sex offenders and just plain bad people now as their were when we were kids, but the news media is different. We get news instantly from anywhere and its fed to us much differently than in the past. I think our perception of crime has changed, but not the number of crimes. We just hear about it more and more easily.

 

[Token]

Several years back here just north of Memphis there was a young boy of about 5 or 6 that went missing one afternoon.. All sorts of police and search crews came out to look for him. About 8 am the following morning he was spotted by a news chopper helping search the area from the air.. He was about 50 yards from the Mississippi River and maybe 4 miles south of his house and he had his dog with him.

He was quickly picked up and taken to the hospital to be checked out even though he kept telling everyone he was Ok.. Wasn't to long before social services was called in to investigate the parents for child neglect.. Keep in mind the boy and his parents live NEAR town, but a long way from town and aren't exactly city folks..

What it came down to was the boy said he'd taken his dog and they'd gone out camping. He wasn't lost, he knew which way home was, he just wasn't done with his adventure so he hadn't headed back home when he was "found".. It just so happened he hadn't told his parents about "going camping" so it all got blown way out of whack really fast when they started asking around the neighborhood if anyone had seen the boy..