as above- tires are your best bang for the buck, and a set of sliders will save you heartache and bodywork. Skills and some basic recovery gear will get you out of MOST situations or keep you from getting there in the first place. Thats where id start.
A winch is overkill unless your going somewhere deep and solo. I have one on my crawler and use it, i have one on my Tundra and have only used it to help others so far. They are VERY useful when you need one, but other equipment can duplicate and is alot cheaper and more versatile, read- HILIFT, chain, snatchstrap, blocks, shovel, axe, sand, etc...
Stock 4runner will take you so many places it will blow your mind. Spending $ to lift your truck is not necessary to get out on the trails reliably.
That said, a fresh, quality suspension will not only improve the looks and give you clearance for larger tires- its also a major performance upgrade if done correctly. When your ready to lift, i recommend a quality set of Coilovers- not a cheap spring replacement or one of the adjustable coils using different lower spring carrier heights. Spend the money where it counts. the front coilovers, UCA's, and the rear springs. All those shiny adjustable links and other suspension trinkets are great but not truly necessary unless your going way up.
I am running 2.5 ICON's with rears to match and front UCA's. The uca's allow you to recover correct steering geometry with the added lift and tires. Just last night my wife and i were out for a cruise, they continue to blow my mind. My '10 runner absolutely rails on washboard fireroads and it feels like we are sitting in a tub of pudding. Very comfortable and no question about the major improvement in handling over stock. It does matter, just not mandatory