Suspensions seem like a black art. You can run all the calculations and simulations you want but in the end you have to build it and see how it performs to know how you need to build it. Prototyping is the most important and most expensive step of any design. It is why nothing works anymore; everyone wants to run simulations. I once found myself in the same position when I was getting into motorcycles. You can do all the research in the world but at some point you have to buy one and ride it. Only then can you know what you should have bought or, if you are lucky, what you need to do to make it work for you. It was always fun explaining that one to my wife for a $5,000 motorcycle I'm not sure how I'm going to do that for a $25,000+ camper!
Seems like the only real approach, after you've ruled out the obviously unworkable cases, is to pull the trigger, see how it performs, and make adjustments. Whether or not the adjustments involve selling and buying something else depend partly, but not entirely, on the research. Either way you will be making adjustments. I guess that is maybe the most important part of it when going into something like this jointly. Moderate expectations up front and see what you can live with.
I think I should pass on the $32K Northern Lite 8-11 (12 hours away) and give the $24K Lance 825 (1 hour away) a try. They are both 2018s, both bought new by current owner. Both in good shape but the Lance has always been stored inside and looks, frankly, brand new, NL has been stored outside in Colorado winters. Pick it up and drive it home. Only then start making decisions on air bags or rubber assist, sway bars, shocks, etc. I've been continuing to measurebate on both and the NL is definitely the better performer. But this winter looks like a bust so maybe just jump in and start using the darn thing. At some point one must begin the process of building experience and having experiences.
I started out with an '02 BMW R1150R because I'm a boxer engine fan. I went through a bunch of bikes and life changes and now have a '14 BMW R1200GS. It's about the perfect bike for me and where I live but it took five bikes and a transcontinental move to get there. Maybe I can do this in two campers because I probably don't have time (and I know I don't have money) for five and I don't want to move again.