Ok, so I sent on to the mod what I had to say to him, and he's doing a fine job.
My impression about all this: it started with a click-baity title, and it was designed for a specific purpose, and it appears that the attempt was successful? I don't know.
Perhaps I missed this important point being made by someone at some point: I would be stunned if any company gave any sort of "help" in a situation like this due to the obvious liability involved. As this thread has shown, the level of entitlement has increased exponentially for easily identifiable sociological and psychological reasons over the last 24 months, and as this thread quickly went to "let me speak to your manager," the obvious next step could be "I'm speaking to my lawyer"-level of threats. Someone cracks open a box with a fully charged battery, and bad things can certainly happen right away.
Again, I would be stunned to see any company offer such help, unless you could demonstrate (as one man here has done) that you are an electrician, or electrical engineer...and likely not even then.
And, in my 48 years, as I almost always get in trouble for asking questions...I note that there have obviously been no other companies that could be expected to perform any differently, where a used/reconditioned item already purchased at a discount was dropped by the user. Did we get an answer?
I think the YouTube video where the creator built his own is the winner, so this thread as at least allowed me to review that to build my own solution for either of my rigs. Additionally, I will not drop my creation from a meter up, so I won't know if my solution holds up any better.