My advice is to see what she wants to drive. My wife would refuse to drive anything that big (three rows).....I'm thinking about getting her a Lexus RX.
The Highlander is going away soon, so I'd lean towards a Grand Highlander. The Lexus version (TX) will ride and handle even better.
No one local 30 miles in Phx has a Highlander, Landcruiser, Grand Highlander, 4Runner, or Sequoia! Can't believe it. A few have these in transit, already sold, that I might see if I time it fast. They basically have 4cab Tacoma and Rav4.
I did confirm the Grand Highlander is midway between a Highlander and a Sequoia, much better legroom and headroom than basic Highlander. Totally different car, no idea why they didnt give it a better different name! But that one is sounding decent right now.