????

I run 33/10.50 BFG AT's and they are far and away the BEST AT in snow I've ever used... Try changing/droping your PSI, it helps alot. here in the NW we actually HAVE elevation changes and mountains (just ribbin ya mate

) and my $Runner is litteraly the most capable rig I've ever owned for snow wheeling with the BFG AT's on it.
That said, they're NOT a dedicated winter tire but considering you don't have to swap them off to drive around in the summer... I ran expensive "all season" Blizzaks on an old VW FOX of mine when I lived/worked up on Mt. Hood and those things made it FEEL like I had 4wd. BUT they were expensive and wore out REALLY quickly... Keep the BFG's and play with your tire pressure.
I hate to ask/imply, but really, honestly how good a "snow driver" are you??? I don't know ya so I can't/won't assume anything, but your statements are way out of line with everyone else's experiences with the BFG's and alot of us live in places with alot more snow/wetter, nastier weather with them and love them so I gotta wonder...
Also, any chance your 4wd wasn't engaging correctly??? Vacum actuators are an achillies heel of Jeep 4wd systems. espescialy in freezing weather.
Cheers
Dave
Edit: should be noted, I've owned ALOT more jeeps - primarily XJ's - then anything else. so I'm very familliar wit the platform and it's snow capabilities. IMO they're great snow trucks with their multi-mode shift on the fly T-case. but the 4.0L can be a bit of a beast if not reighned in eh. 4LO should only be used for slow descents unless you have a manual and can select gears without it shifting on you. use 4HI like the guy said below, the motor has more then enough grunt and twist to use it, un like my 4Runner that needs low range alot more

hope you get some answers and some things sorted cause I hate to think that you're not comfortable driving your family around safely. Again, lower your titre preassure... It'll do wonders for any rig on ANY tires.