My Wandering Soul

[ExpoMike]

I too hope you don't take this the wrong way as well. When I donated funds to you, that is exactly what I did "donate" them. I expected nothing back nor have any strings tied to it. I did it because "I" wanted to help. No different then if I give to the Red Cross or Disabled Explorers.

I know you are still young and the lack of life long experience can keep from seeing the long term effects of decisions. Also the mindset of someone can greatly effect that too. You will learn with experience and age, as hopefully everyone does.

I feel what is frustrating is seeing someone not learning from their mistakes. You completely owned up to the fact that taking that unknown dirt road was a bad mistake and in turn are paying the consequences of that. Fine, that's under the bridge, learn and move forward. The frustrating part is this "need" to attend OVX. Sorry bud, as I said before, unless this is a paying gig (more then your costs to get there/attend/back) this is a "want" NOT a "need".

What you need to do is figure out your vehicle situation. Either fix what you have or replace it with something that will be reliable. Something like that van being offered above might be a good choice as you can sleep in it and still carry your gear with some security. I knew CarMax wasn't an option but there are options. Craigslist, Toyota forums, etc. Something else, try to find a mechanic in town who might trade out some labor/parts for you doing some work for them. Go around town and see about picking up a quickie temp job to raise some funds for repairs/replacement.

The point is, you started this journey to find yourself and to grow as a person. What you're showing is you are still playing as a kid not ready to "grow up" yet. I admire you for starting this journey but you will have to earn my respect in what you accomplish on this journey. In the end, only YOU can make choices for YOU and YOU have that control.

As I learned on my own life journey about 6 years back, you can't control what happens, only how you react to them. Words to live by. Good luck.

 

[MoGas]

I spent < 5 minutes looking on the Prescott Craigslist. I found 2 real gems. If I were in your situation, I would get one of these.

Great little 4Runner:victory:

Great truck with camper shell!!!!:drool:


Dave

 

[Klierslc]

What you need to do is figure out your vehicle situation. Either fix what you have or replace it with something that will be reliable. Something like that van being offered above might be a good choice as you can sleep in it and still carry your gear with some security. I knew CarMax wasn't an option but there are options. Craigslist, Toyota forums, etc. Something else, try to find a mechanic in town who might trade out some labor/parts for you doing some work for them. Go around town and see about picking up a quickie temp job to raise some funds for repairs/replacement.

The point is, you started this journey to find yourself and to grow as a person. What you're showing is you are still playing as a kid not ready to "grow up" yet. I admire you for starting this journey but you will have to earn my respect in what you accomplish on this journey. In the end, only YOU can make choices for YOU and YOU have that control.

As I learned on my own life journey about 6 years back, you can't control what happens, only how you react to them. Words to live by. Good luck.

I agree. I didn't know that carmax wouldn't take a vehicle that old, but my plan is still sound. Unload the aftermarket goodies and you can still trade it in at a used car dealer for 3500 off of their 5000 dollar 4runner. Add in 1500 of the 2k that you have from your stuff and you are ready to hit the road with 500 dollars in your pocket.

Alternatively, you could probably swap your front and rear bumpers to a local Cruiserhead for doing the HG. I know that if I was out there, I would take that trade.....

I understand your frustration and why you are getting defensive but, as state above, your priority is getting your vehicle situation worked out. I know you have some work for the next couple weeks, but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES, should you take off for Montana without fixing the cruiser.

Here is why:

What we did to your engine was a bandaid at best. It probably would have held until Montana, but that would have been a gamble. Many people have trashed their GOOD headgaskets by overheating them just like you did. You did it to a bad gasket. Even if your head isn't warped/cracked, I would not trust that gasket to get me anywhere.

Whatever you decide to do, you need to have a plan yesterday. My professional advice as a Military motor transport officer is to not drive the cruiser to MT without fixing it. My professional advice as a former mechanic is to not take the cruiser to MT without fixing it. My personal advice is to use the available assets that you have (bumpers, lift, etc) and either fix the cruiser or get something else.

Please do not try to prove everyone wrong and overcome this as a testament to toyota's engineering and quality. Please do not try this as a way of showing your independence and making your detractors eat crow. Part of the "adventure" that you seem to be after is extensive planning. In the overlanding discipline, you will not find anyone who would take your truck (even with a new water pump) on any kind of "expedition"

I don't know how to make this point any better, but please don't end up frozen to death in northern Utah because you "had to take the Land Cruiser"

best of luck,

Dan

 

[Ruined Adventures]

I spent < 5 minutes looking on the Prescott Craigslist. I found 2 real gems. If I were in your situation, I would get one of these.

Great little 4Runner:victory:

Great truck with camper shell!!!!:drool:


Dave

If you get the camo toyota, I'll donate the money to rattle-can a new paint job. :safari-rig:

It sounds like Phil has some decisions to make about the cruiser. I think we should try not to pick apart what Phil has said or done in the past...whether the criticism is valid or not. It just seems like he's having to spend a lot of precious energy defending himself here. I know if it were me, it'd be hard not to respond to the comments. Besides, it's best not to live in the past. He needs to look forward at his options. Move on...

If we just encourage him with, he can use that time & energy finding a new rig, liquidating assets from the cruiser, or putting things in perspective.

Phil, the cruiser is weighing you down. You should lose the expo-bling and get something more reliable, affordable, and use the excess money to fund your soul searching journey to Montana. Just my .02 but do what you & your wife feel is best. I'll shut up now...

 

[goldenbeagle]

I have been following this thread for what seems like a month now. I fully admit that when it started I admired the OP (Phil) and his decision to blindly move on and seek a new avenue in life. But, I two as others do, have some lingering thoughts within my head.

At the beginning of this journey I seen a sense of purpose, a journey to discover one’s self. I seen a guy charging west to face fears and start a new life and a new job. But “JOB/New start” being the headline to this whole adventure. Regardless of when the JOB starts or ends….I myself would have been thinking “Once I get to Montana I will figure the rest out”. Even if your job didn’t start until April…you could have easily found a part time job in town waiting tables for a few weeks or sweeping up some shop floors for some cash to save. (Just a thought)

Folks have also commented on your situation at home with your wife Jen…that is personal business. But if you plan on her meeting up with you out west…you should make sure your bringing her out there for a better life rather than bringing her out just for a different landscape, but the same problems. (Just some friendly advice)

Phil, you said you left home because of personal problems and you couldn’t stay. I can tell you from experience and from being a Family Grief Counselor for many years, that your problems will follow you where ever you go. The problems you left can only be resolved if faced. Time away from the problems only makes those problems harder to resolve. (Again just some friendly advice).

If I were in your shoes right now…I would be checking into train rides to Montana. Find out how much it would cost…and save the rest of your money for any future issues. Ask a favor from one of the folks there and see if leaving your rig for a few months would be a problem….maybe even put it up for sale on CraigsList in the mean time. But focus on arriving in Montana for that job.

With all due respect…I feel as though you are wasting time and thinking that contacts, wheeling, grand adventures, etc is most important with the current situation you are in. I truly think that you are walking on a thin line with being true to yourself. I think most of us would be even more proud of you and your cause and respect you more if you just dropped everything yet again and headed straight to Montana to make sure you got seattled for the real reason you went west.

I was once told “You will not find yourself while standing in a room with successful men….to find yourself you must lose yourself …it is then that you will realize what is important and needed....no one can teach or tell you what those things are.”

This is just my thoughts….No disrespect or harm intended…..I wish you good luck in your journeys.

“Vios Con Dios”

 

[Streakerfreak]

I will post this and I will leave it at that.

I am not running away from my problems in CT. My problems were faced and I did what I needed to do with the encouragment of my family and Jenn. Again, I will not talk about Jenn in an open forum so lets drop that.

The job in Montana is only seasonal. I will need to figure out something to do for a few months afterwards, hence why I am here. Things are working out pretty well down here as far as that is concerned. Back in CT I tried to find a part time job, but they were few and far between or they paid less than my unemployement and I would not have been able to make the minimums on my credit cards that I am working on paying off. Don't worry I am looking at all possiblities as far as selling the Cruiser is concerned.

I thank everyone for all the help. I wanted to do this on my own, but with the new problems I faced it would have been difficult. I knew what I need and I am making that happen right now. I do plan to pay everyone back some how. I don't care what everyone says about that, but its not me to take money without paying it back with either work, money, or whatever. I'm sorry if I stepped on any toes, said anything wrong, or gave everyone the wrong impression. I want to be as open and truthfull as possible. I know what I need right now and I am working on making that happen. I do wish I never accepted the offer of the donations.

I hope everyone understands what I am doing. I have tried my best to put my heart and thoughts down on this thread and my blog. I'm sorry if I did not.

 

[Whitey]

What is the nature of the work in Montana? I have a friend that works at the Yellowstone Club.

I'm looking forward to seeing how this turns out.

 

[roamingaz]

I see the logic of going to expo, there will be alot of people from a lot different companies and meeting someone there could lead to a job. If you stay in phoenix, my company is hiring as we are coming into our busy season.
My advice is to sell or store your cruiser, get a bus ticket to the job up north and find someone to ride with to expo. No vehicle sucks a little but no money going to gas, oil or insurence, maybe consider a bycycle for around town transportation.

 

[1leglance]

This thead is why when I have my nervous breakdown I am keeping my mouth shut

Just having fun to lighten the mood....

Phil I hope you know that all the advice you are getting it truly with your best interest in mind...not the advice for the most fun, interesting, creative, or best campfire story kind of advice, but the kind that in 10yrs you can look back on from a better place.

This last fall my family had a melt down due to Disabled Explorers and the time/money/effort it has required....right as I was looking at the summit of the mountain of coolness that included regular time in a TV show, donated rigs, all the coolness I could bask in and so much more...
I needed to do was toss out my 15 yr marriage, let my 13 yr old son give up going for his Eagle Scout rank, let my 20 yr old son give up nursing school and it would all have worked out easily.

Instead I ducked out of things for a bit....ducked some more....spent time with family & friends...smoked some amazing cigars (haven't really bought anything since DE sucks up the money) and hit the reset button.

Now I am looking for someone to take over DE or another non-profit to absorb it...
I am taking an ICU RN position in Australia with my wife & younger son for 1 yr and the older boy gets the house here while we are gone.
My family is super jazzed, happy and relaxed and the world is a nice place again....TV shows or not.

I hope this helps, only you know you and many of us will help no matter what, even if that help comes in the form of things you don't want to hear At least at my house you are smoking a great cigar while not listening to me

 

[keezer37]

I think your AZ side track is a good idea. Most jobs are gotten through networking (said the unemployed recluse) and AZ is a good place to do just that. MT is beautiful but you're not as likely to find follow on employment there.

 

[FurthurOnTheFly]

Phil, sometimes its hard to see the picture when you are standing in the frame.

I only wish you the best on this journey we call life. I know I've made some very poor decisions in my past and I could only wish I'd had a community around like this then with people who were not afraid to tell me the truth.

I agree with the sentiment here. Dump that POS cruiser. Its been nothing but garbage since the day you bought it. Does it have potential? Sure, but you are not in a position for that right now.

If it were me I'd go either the moto route or buy that van. I'd probably lean toward the moto just because I know it would be cheaper all around...cheaper to fix, cheaper to maintain, cheaper on gas and cheaper on shelter. I'd be afraid the van would just be opening up another mechanical nightmare that you can't afford to fix.

Sell all of your crap. Sell it all, get an AZ drivers license and then pay $200 for a weekend MSF class. Buy a bike and head north. Work your job, and if you have something to come back to here in AZ after so be it. Get your life in order and go to OVX next year with some new blingin ride. Or have an amazing tale to tell.

But your first step is letting go................

 

[Whitey]

I predict this will surpass the Congo thread.

 

[ExpoMike]

I want to be as open and truthfull as possible.

I think that's where the problem lies. You make this statement yet from your writings, there is a LOT of backend story no one is getting. Advice being given is based on what you are telling everyone but may not be the best advice for the whole picture.

 

[Streakerfreak]

I think that's where the problem lies. You make this statement yet from your writings, there is a LOT of backend story no one is getting. Advice being given is based on what you are telling everyone but may not be the best advice for the whole picture.

There is some stuff I just can not share out of respect and love for my wife even if I am not wanted there anymore. I have talked to a few people about it on this forum, but even they don't know everything that has happened and I plan to keep it that way. Also stuff I just don't want to share with the world. I admit I have hit rock bottom. I see some light on the horizion and I am grabbing for it.

Don't worry everyone I am working on putting the Cruiser up for sale. This is where I could probably use the help. I will let everyone know what's up. I am replacing the waterpump today to make it drivable.

 

[htek]

Wow... interesting turn of events in this saga.

Phil - I have been checking this thread daily finding encouragement with every mile you travel. I am finding inspiration in your adventure. Whatever happens, please keep posting with your adventure and don't be discouraged.

I find it interesting that many people are telling you what you NEED to do. I think that most of these people are right on in terms of providing logical, realistic advice. I hope you will follow there advice (which is the same as I stated in the beginning of this thread - ditch the cruiser).

But you know what - the only thing you NEED to do is make the best decisions you can based on your needs and desires. They may not seem logical to all of us on-lookers, but who cares. It's your life, your adventure, and your shot to make something of yourself. Doing the "safe" thing is what most people do, and it usually leads to a largely uninteresting and very pedestrian lifestyle. Doing the risky thing makes men extraordinary, or conversely breaks them down.

So really, the only thing you NEED to do is make the best decision you can, and accept the consequences...

I am a little shocked that so many of the people that have offered you assistance (time or money) now seem a bit butthurt about your decisions. As if they feel taken advantage of... I see these donations as a means to further your journey - in whatever form that takes. Seems like you are going to offend someone if you don't make the same decision as they do, or use the money in a manner they seem to approve.

Hopefully you find what you are looking for. And I know that I am looking forward to reading more about your travels...

-JM