Yeah great post mate, covered off all the big ones there, most of which I've done on mine. There are a few things I've yet to do, like move the stat to the top pipe, but I've not felt I've needed to as yet. On the flat when not pushing hard it cruises at around 80-85C. I've also got a high flow K&N air filter, removed all the rear heater pipework and fitted a good quality aftermarket Auberins digital temp sensor in the top pipe to keep an eye on things. Don't worry too much on the engine temp creeping over halfway on long climbs out in hot temps. So long as it comes back down again that shows things are operating as they should. Climbing over the Alps I had mine up to three quarters and even higher, but it quickly came back down again after cresting the peak, as it should. Just shows a hot engine working hard under load. It's when it doesn't come back down again you need to worry...
I don't tow but still have a fair amount of kit on board which means I take it gentle on hills. I try not to go over 2.25k rpm if I can help it. I've definitely found having the external oil cooler helped the coolant system drop the temps down. While the heat exchanger idea is sound in theory, in practise it doesn't hold up. There's an argument against having a bigger turbo downpipe too. I've kept mine the same diameter, as after speaking with an exhaust builder he said going too large on this pipe doesn't actually help lower turbo temps a great deal - having the smaller stock diameter pipe speeds exhaust gases and heat through, where a bigger pipe allows for slower release and hotter temps at the turbo. In reality, it's probably marginal.
By the way having an exhaust any bigger than 2.5" on this engine will only serve to rob you of torque. This is the sweet spot in my opinion - opens things up and allows greater flow while keeping your low end grunt and not getting caught up in the 3" arms race of sacrificing it for more 'power'. Let's be honest, noone buys these engines for speed and power
I've currently got my EGT sensor wired up and resting on my dashboard, haven't got around to getting it fitted pre-turbo as yet. Aiming to get this done by the end of the year for peace of mind. Interestingly it has proven my dashboard has reached 80C this summer though.
Although my AC was ice cold, I reasoned I'd rather be too hot and open the windows than let the engine get too hot, it also creates SO much more room in the engine bay to work on things, and has probably removed most of the weight of my winch!
I hear you on the long drives, I've very much welcomed cruise control on all the trips in standard cars I've done across the states, there are big days out there, but I've also gone across Australia a few times without it, and done 1,000km days across Europe without it and not felt the need for it too much if I'm honest. Different strokes for different folks - definitely worth retrofitting it if it's something you're used to though for sure.
Definitely need to see pics of yours!
Best
Owen