Having the seats back there cuts down on virtually all cargo room, so be aware of that.
Nice feature of the 3rd row is that the 2nd row seats recline. Pretty cool, I thought.
I don't know much about Pathfinders directly, but my wife's new Nissan Altima coupe is pretty sweet. Very impressed with the overall quality, the nice features, etc.
The R51's last year was 2012, being a discontinued model you may be able to get it at a cheaper price. I actually like the size of the R51, it's a bit longer than the 4runner but not much (according to Edmunds the Pathy has a 112" wheelbase vs. 109" for the T4R.)
Of course the Pathy has independent rear suspension which would make it somewhat more difficult to lift, but as a family-hauler with moderate off-road ability it should be great.
Yeah, thats pretty much what i'm running into with midsized 7 seaters. One thing i DO like about the montero( which may also be true of the 4runner) is that my kids fit 3across in the middle row if i need all my cargo space.
I don't think it should be a deterrent in choosing a midsize SUV. I've got a cargo box (Yak Rocketbox) and if needed, will get a hitch cargo or just get a trailer for those few times a year when I need that cargo space. My 2 girls are 3 and 1, so no issues yet.
We looked at the 4th gen before buying our Sequoia almost 5 years ago but the access and usability was not great so we opted for the Sequoia.