Apology

[FourByLand]

I was thinking the same thing last week.

Get outta my head!!!!

So was I but just thought to ask this week.

 

[TeriAnn]

Where did you go???

My email starting this thread was the last time I logged into the expo forum until very recently.

We had just finished a long thread in which I felt like someone was harassing everything I said and I was feeling very depressed and alone. So I apologized for anything I said that caused ruffled feathers during that thread and other recent threads. I decided that I didn't need any additional negatives in my life at this time so it would be a good time to take a break from the expo forum. Also I've been feeling like an old expedition traveler has been who can not afford to put fuel in the Rover and tries to keep going by retelling old stories & posting old pictures that everyone already knows by heart. A very poor substitute for being out on the trail creating fresh tails.


I had not realized that my apology had grown into a long thread in my absence. It was off the front page when I logged back into the forum and I didn't bother to go searching for it. I only just saw it because there was a fresh post to it.

I was very touched by reading all your replies to this thread. I should print them all out and put them on the wall in front of the computer as a remembrance that I'm not completely alone in the world and there are those who would actually care if I lived or died. And there were a few personal messages I recently read that I found to be very touching. Thank you one & all.

Since I reached my late 40's I've been living on the edge of depression, occasionally sliding well below its surface. My college degrees are very obsolete and I'm afraid that I just have not had the energy to take advantage of opportunities that have recently come my way. Late last year the IRS decided that they didn't like the way I was doing my taxes & hit me with back due & huge fines. They took 100% of my income for almost 6 months. Time during which I could not afford to have my prescriptions filled, saw my savings dwindle down to nothing and my credit cards maxed out just trying to keep a roof over my head. No allergy medication meant I could not sleep longer than 3 or 4 hours at a time without being up to cough up a lot of phlegm and worsening asthma. Which of course left me an even more depressed zombie and maybe a tad insensitive to postings of others. During this time I've developed a medical condition that should be looked at but I don't have a clue as to when I can afford a DR visit, let along lab tests, medications & more if needed.

Most days I've just wondered through in a depressed zombie daze hoping for the day to hurry up and be over so I could be another day closer to when the IRS would let go of me and I could start affording to take care of myself.

The IRS has finally let go of me for now and I've had 2 paychecks to call my own. I was able to buy one of my allergy medications and a blood pressure medication and I'm spending everything left on my credit card debt. There is virtually no spare money until my debts are under control. Then of course I get to face paying taxes on the money I never saw because the IRS took it all.

I didn't mean for this to become a sob story, I just thought you guys were owed an explanation as to why I have been acting strangely then disappeared.

Though the reason I stayed away from the expo forum for so long is something different. I got carried away cleaning out old cookies from my computer and accidentally deleted expo forum cookies. I also forgot my password. For some reason the Forum's password reset path does not work for me. I never see the email telling me what my new reset password is. I tried the "contact us" email address at the bottom of the page but never received a reply and the other email address that can be accessed without logging in goes to a full mailbox. I finally emailed someone on the overland journal web site and asked for help. A password was mailed to me and I've been back for a couple days now.

Thank you all for your kind words of support. I really appreciate it. Linus especially thank you for your kind words.

 

[JimBiram]

Wow, just stumbled onto this thread. So sorry to hear about your troubles, and thanks for the courage to share. For the first time, I looked at your website and was amazed at the beautiful photos, and all of the adventures you have had. Truly a bohemian woman. What a breath of fresh air in this stuffy world. I wish you the best, and hope our paths cross on the trail someday.
:safari-rig:

 

[stevenmd]

Glad to see you back TerriAnn. You didn't miss much at Mendo this year. Hope you got your exhaust fixed!

 

[Connie]

Originally posted by TeriAnn
I was very touched by reading all your replies to this thread.

Told ya. :elkgrin:

Glad you're back!

 

[DaktariEd]

Welcome back, TeriAnn! :wavey:
Glad to "see" you again!
It is somewhat strange, isn't it, that people who are nearly strangers give a hoot about someone else's well-being?
Interesting place, ExPo. :sombrero:

 

[Andrew Walcker]

It hasn't been the same around these parts without you, glad you are back on board! :safari-rig:

 

[Chucaro]

Welcome back and I hope that from now on all will be fine.
I am appalled with USA and the way that they treat their own people !
How they can live a person without medicines!!
Glad to be in OZ where the social security money is untouchable.
Cheers

 

[Alaska Mike]

Teriann-
What you don't realize is that your "old stories" are some people's dreams, and they never get old to some of us. I think I've read your Border-to-Border piece like 10 times.

This too shall pass. Dig yourself out of the hole and then climb back into the drivers seat. We'll all be here waiting for you. Actually, some of the guys with 2.25Ls may take a little longer, so you may beat them here...

 

[Streakerfreak]

Welcome back, TeriAnn! :wavey:
Glad to "see" you again!
It is somewhat strange, isn't it, that people who are nearly strangers give a hoot about someone else's well-being?
Interesting place, ExPo. :sombrero:

It is, but that is one of the things that makes ExPo so great. People who you have never met actually care and do what they can to help. It is a great thing. Too bad this sort of thing is in short supply in this world.

Teriann-
What you don't realize is that your "old stories" are some people's dreams, and they never get old to some of us. I think I've read your Border-to-Border piece like 10 times.

That is exactly how I feel. Your "old stories" help keep my dreams and aspirations alive.

 

[ElmrPhD]

Apology?

Oh, this is just ridiculous!
I just discovered ExPo over the weekend and was absolutely THRILLED to see my old friend TeriAnn's comments on most of the threads that interested me. I even forwarded some of it to my wife who has no interest in LaRo stuff except for TeriAnn's write-ups from years ago.
I've read all of TeriAnn's comments thinking to myself, "I sure hope that THIS forum can learn from TeriAnn how to write clearly, informatively and with minimal chest-thumping, unlike certain other forum/lists/whatever".

To then read that TeriAnn is apologizing for such writing... Can there be anything more ridiculous???

However, and of course, my sympathies for whatever would cause such a valued contributor anything close to depression. Get well soon!

Steve, normally in the NL's, but on assignment in Gran Canaria where they have lots of old Series III Santanas, but few British Landies
'77 109 w/ Peugeot turbo-diesel
'83 OneTen w/ Nissa n/a diesel

 

[TeriAnn]

That is exactly how I feel. Your "old stories" help keep my dreams and aspirations alive.

Most of my old stories never made it from my paper journals to my web site. I like to write while on the trail. Its a chance to relive the day again and put it into perspective. Very few of those stories have been typed into my computer. I'm a slow typist and a lot more interested in new stuff than what I did in years previous.

Living my old stories has enriched my life and helped define who I am today. But I for one do not want to get drawn back into them to live in the past. I'll dwell there only when I can no longer dwell in tomorrow. It often amazes me that others find the stories inspiring. If anything I tend to think it rather presumptuous of me to put my journals on the web. But since people seem interested I recently added a new room to my web site to house stories and snapshots taken on the trail.

To keep my dreams and aspirations alive I need to focus on new stories yet unwritten. That can be kinda hard when you are sitting alone, depressed, broke, sleepless and ill. To paraphrase, "a person at rest tends to stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force".

Thankfully, when I was feeling like I was slowly sinking deep into the soil I have recently been acted upon by an outside force. British Pacific has offered substantial gas money for me to represent them at the National Land Rover Rally this September. Thanks to them and a couple others, I have a reason to look forward again.

I'm working on trying to rediscover the concept of upbeat. Thank you all for taking the time to light the path for me. It means a lot to know I'm not totally alone in this world.

 

[desertgirl66]

Hi Terriann,

Just wanted to wish you a Happy Day! The sun is shining and there is love flowing through the ExPo Portal! Keep a smile~~~

 

[Alaska Mike]

You mean there's more? I really enjoy the stories, and while it may seem (to you) like tooting your own horn sometimes, a lot of us out here just like reading about your approach to vehicle-dependent exploration.

The sponsorship deal is great news, and they are definitiely going to get some business from me in the near future. However, you do realize that we are going to need more stories and pictures. With great power comes great responsibility.

 

[TeriAnn]

You mean there's more?

Of course there is more. I started writing my travel journals around '94 or '95 and during the 56 weeks between Sept '97 and Oct '98 I spent 20 of those weeks on the trail From about half way up British Columbia to the Mexican border, California to Vermont. I was doing journal writing most of the years.

a lot of us out here just like reading about your approach to vehicle-dependent exploration.

My approach? Some people navigate by GPS, some by compass & map. I mostly navigate by whim and consider myself as being spot on if I end the day in the same state I was planing on at the beginning of the day.

Tread lightly, stay away from drop offs (I deathly afraid of heights) and go wherever whim takes me, sometimes stopping every 100 feet or so to take a picture. Occasionally not leaving camp that day because I'm trapped inside a good book, or stopping for several hours waiting for the sun to get into the right place for a picture. There are many who would consider my approach best explained using chaos theory math.

The sponsorship deal is great news, and they are definitiely going to get some business from me in the near future.

They are good folks and have good prices on their stuff. British Pacific has come through for me several times, including overnighting parts to me when I'm broken down on the trail.