Being a parent has changed my thinking. How about you?

[RoundOut]

What an awesome thread!

Wow, I'm all melancholy now, after reading this. I had the same catharsis that you describe, LaOutbackTrail. Mine happened 16 years ago (my daughter is almost 17). The first phase was when she started bottle-feeding, after nursing for a couple months. I got to participate, finally. The second was when she started smiling, then talking. The third was when she started walking. There's nothing more rewarding than having that little bundle of innocense excitedly charging up to give daddy a hug after a good day OR lousy day at work. Everything that's important just wrapped its arms around you.

At almost 17, I have to get her away from it all to get that kind of attention now. She is a GREAT kid, but it is all about her now. That is normal, but still sucks.

Her brother, even at age 14, is more cuddly than she was. I love that, because I was that way with my parents. He is starting to pull away from certain things, too. We recently discovered frisbee, though. I am excited to get to have that time with him now. 30 minutes of frisbee in the evening beats hours of fun on a computer playing a video game (his favorite passtime -- he may not think so, but at least it does to me).

 

[MaddBaggins]

I used to backpack and hike like crazy, pretty much every weekend before marriage and after marriage. Then along came Zoe and I haven't been backpacking in 5 years and only short hikes few and far between. She's 5 now and we have started to take small hikes together, backpacking will be in the future.
The main reason I got into wheeling was to be able to get out there with my family and have the stuff we need to be comfortable and have fun.

 

[Jacket]

LaOutbackTrail,

I don't think your experience is unique. I followed a similar path as you. I was using my trail bike to explore, and had a great group of guys to ride with pretty much every week if I wanted to. I loved and still love the unique feeling of riding that bike.

But....I've lost interesting in "growing" my 2 wheeler, and all my attention goes to my truck. I get a lot of satisfaction when the entire family can participate in an adventure. Even if its just a day of 'wheelin, I can take my kid or kids along, and feed my thirst while still being able to share experiences with the kiddos.

There is still going to be time for me and my bike, but not as much for now. Maybe once my kids are older, one or both might give trail riding a try, and then I can get back into it. But as long as I feel like I can kill two birds with one stone (apologize for the poor metaphor), time with family and time on the trail can be done simultaneously.

 

[Hltoppr]

I guess my view is a little different...

I've seen so many bodies, wrecks, and accidents that it all runs together anymore...so while I don't have a death wish, I just don't dwell a lot on the "it could happen"....because it could, can, and will....just a matter of when.

Make your personal relationships with family and friends count whenever you can, and do what you love!

-H-

 

[calamaridog]

I believe risk reduction is a natural thing to do when you have young ones at home. I see people loosen up after the kids are older.

 

[Hltoppr]

I'm a big fan of mitigating the risk....but it's a lot of personal choices.

For example:

Daily riding a motorcycle...sure

Parasailing at a beach resort....not on your life!

-H-

 

[LaOutbackTrail]

Fun with daddy today....

I roll the window down for her and she is constantly pointing and her word for interesting things is "aagnh"

We went on a short hiking trail, looking for a sign for an old stage coach stop, but I was given wrong directions. But, we got to see some deer, up close... until Kylie finally saw them and went "aagnh" really loud and then started clapping. It was cute though. I'm glad she was excited.

(First shots are the not zoomed in, and then the same shot crop)

 

[BPMOU]

Congrats on the little'n! I'm sure your taking care of her, but remember, give her a kiss and read a book to her every day. Dont forget to tell her you love her and of course.... dont give in to EVERYthing. ;o) My little girl has stolen my heart... but that was expected. I cherish every hug she gives me and every time she says daddy. Mine is 16 months now.

Thanks man it has been great thus far, crying and no sleep even.

 

[Tucson T4R]

Thanks man it has been great thus far, crying and no sleep even.

Is that your baby girl or YOU with no sleep and crying? :shakin: :hehe:

 

[Wanderlusty]

I made the decision to sell my bike soon after I found out that my wife was pregnant. It felt like the right decision then, and for the most part, I do not regret it.

Fatherhood is every bit as great as all of you have pointed out. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Part of what lead me to sell was that I had a cousin who was killed in a motorcycle accident when his wife was 8 months pregnant. He never got to see his child. That haunted me. I sold.

Now....my kid is almost 18 months old. What a great time it has been. :wings:

But...I miss having a bike very, very badly.

For better or worse, finances will keep a bike out of my garage for at least the next few years, but I see myself returning to two wheels a lot sooner than many dads who sold when kids come along.

Why? Because much like Hltopper said in his posts. I am choosing to accept the risks by minimizing them with rider training and a safe approach to riding. Some feel riding is not safe, and it is true that there are some intangibles on a bike that cannot be controlled or minimized the way they can in a car. But, I can't live in fear.

I decided a while back, that while I am FAR from an adrenaline junky (sorry, no skydiving, no hangliding, no bungee jumping....) that if I avoid things I know I enjoy, like riding....then I will be 'that guy' sitting on my porch at 90, dying of nothing, thinking and dreaming about 'what coulda been' and I don't want to be that person.

I don't want my son to be that person either. I want him to be sensible. I want him to be safe, but I grew up in a family that....well....feared life....and I don't want him to to live that way.

 

[Rbertalotto]

I rode the piss out of motorcycles from 13 yo until about 23. Got married and my wife rode also. We had our first child and we both hung up our helmets for 23 years.......once the kids were grown, it was motorcycle madness once again.

I never worried about getting killed on a bike......my wife would remarry with a nice chunk of change in the bank from the life insurance. I just didn't want to get crippled with young kids. The kids were more than enough work for my wife, no need for her to be wiping oatmeal off my chin too!

We did lots of adventure camping when the kids were young. Four wheel drive PU with a camper and well off the beaten path......kids loved it and the risk was mild.

A few years ago, my children and my son-in-law all rode. But now they are parents and the helmets are hung up for them......

Call your own shots, but I think motorcycle riding is an unnecessary risk you don't need to take if you have kids.

Plus, rediscovering motorcycles at 47 years old is a hoot. I have six of them on the road currently.......love em!

 

[LaOutbackTrail]

Plus, rediscovering motorcycles at 47 years old is a hoot. I have six of them on the road currently.......love em!

You can ride six bikes on the road at one time? Dude that's friggan awesome!

I for the most part have limited my motorcycle rides as of late. I've only been on 3 rides in the last year....
The last was to go check out some bridges in the next county over... before that a week in Mexico in October... and just before that trip, I rode the bike for a shake down run!

 

[timh]

A kid has definitely changed things for me. We mostly cut out everything that the little on couldn't be included on. It has been so much fun watching her experience so many new things and I'm sure it will be for years to come!

 

[stevenmd]

Being the parent of a "Teenager" I question my sanity rather than my thinking!

x2. My oldest is 15 years old and my youngest is 1 year old. We have three more in between (ages 10, 8, & 3)...:snorkel:

 

[R_Lefebvre]

Interesting thread, didn't even realize it was an oldie until I got to page 2!

I don't think parenthood has changed me that much. I still try to do the things I do before I was a father, and before I was married. I have to. I think I'd get bored, go into midlife crisis, and get divorced otherwise. And is that really much better for the kids? I'm "only" 33, and it's weird... I have a couple friends that still aren't married. I have a couple that are, and a few have even got divorced already. My cousin is a couple years older, they had twins about 3 years ago, and her husband just left her. I see him as the typical kinda suburbanite man with no hobbies, no "guy stuff", etc. and I think he got bored with his life.

That being said, I do fun things, but I've always been safe. I do (or did) open trackdays, but I put a 6 point cage in the car, 5 point harness, and a fire retardant racing suit. I also do it in a somewhat "slow" car that's still a hoot to drive. People very rarely get killed doing this. Usually it's rich guys in Ferraris, etc. Way more power than skill and little safety gear.

I ride a motorcycle, but really only off-road. I love riding motorcycles, but I do feel driving on the street is dangerous. I keep it off road, and for the most part keep the wheels on the ground. It's also very rare for somebody to get killed riding in the woods. The biggest risk is having a high-speed head-on with a 4 wheeler. I try to stick to single track with speeds like 20-30mph, and am careful on the 2 track, and actually try to let somebody else lead.

I do "race" the bike but, I'm just doing it for fun. I'm usually back of the pack. I'd be happy if I could just win the slowest class. And again, we're talking woods racing, speeds are relatively low. When guys slam into trees, it's typically just a broken arm or seeing stars. And even that is pretty rare.

I keep going around and around on selling the bike.

I bought the truck so I could go trail riding with the whole family. I'd have more time for wheeling and camping with the family if I didn't have the bike. But frankly, I think I *need* some time to myself. But even the bike thing can be a family thing. My boy has a Suzuki JR50 already, and I look forward to when we can ride the trails together. My wife is accepting of the idea of getting a TTR125LE or something like that for her to plonk around on the trails. Bikes are a vastly cheaper way to get out on the trails, as they sip fuel and are darn near indestructible. But, trucks are more comfortable, especially if the weather isn't nice.

I'm serious jonesing for a bigger adventure bike. I would like to be able to do some more exploring using a fraction of the fuel of the truck. But then those would be solo trips and... I dunno.