I must have forgotten to update this, but I ended up buying an awd chrysler town and country. Way more space inside than the jeep, and it should handle snow and icy roads just fine. I still have the xj, since about a month after we got the van, the dr said that my oldest was big enough to go into a booster seat, which is much narrower than the car seat. I'm still contemplating the 4wd swap on my d200 crew cab, or a fsj for family camping and exploring.
Thanks for the input guys. I really appreciate all of the ideas I had thought about all of the vehicles mentioned except for the Suzuki. That is a great option, and I'm a little drawn to the under dog, so that may be worth some more looking.