There are a lot of tripods that fit what you are looking for, it all comes down to $$$ and you may be surprised what a good tripod can run. Gitzo has several models that fit your criteria depending on whether weight or strength is more important. I have heard many glowing reports of the Feisol 3401 triopd (
www.feisol.com) and they have an American distributor now who is very friendly and helpful. I recently checked out a carbon Velbon at a local camera store and was extremely impressed with it, especially for the price. They have come a long way in all areas with their new 500 series and the 540 should fit your needs well.
As far as a head, there are many options. In the world of ball heads, Acratech, Really Right Stuff, Kirk, Markins and Bogen/Manfrotto all have nice offerings, it just comes down to what you are looking for and how much you want to spend. I think for me, in your same situation, with a hefty but not unlimited budget, I would check out a Velbon 540 or Feisol 3401 with a RRS BH-25 head.
Thom Hogan has an excellent article on choosing the right tripod
here that is well worth a read. Also, Galen Rowell has a great article on his two-pound tripod that is unfortunately out of date, but talks about the importance of having a tripod that is so light and small -- at the expense of almost every other consideration -- that you never leave home without it.