Too bad to hear. let us know if you figure out how to resolve.
I think you have to use adjustable rods to get it to go into access mode and stay there. The height sensors are putting out a value that is being calculated as an obstruction by the suspension computer. By requesting access mode the computer thinks that the sensor should rotate to a value in range for access height, lets call that -60. With the spacers your only going to -40. The computer says no wait I am expecting at least -20 more, bing bong, obstruction, and into extended mode.
So what you end up doing with an adjustable rod is dialing in -20, or whatever the number is, to accommodate the physical lift. This tricks the computer into thinking that the sensors are reading stock values. When I changed the bump stops inside the airspring I had to play around with my adjustable rods quite a bit to be able to go down to access height. Which in my case is just shy of the bump stop.
You can also try changing the values in the computer but you can end up running into out of range values for the senors throwing sensor faults. Enough of those will fault and put you on the bump stops.
I am not sure if anyone makes adjustable rods anymore. Take this all with a grain of salt, I have no idea what the actual algorithm is doing. The change in upper strut to a-arm pivot points could also introduce more binding/friction causing a time to lower fault. I do know you can fault when raising the vehicle too slowly. Perhaps there is a portion of the algorithm that works in the opposite direction.