The Wanderers build

[superbuickguy]

"Oh, I agree. We've been having a problem with that lately. Now, how can I help you today?"
"Well, I have this terrible upset stomach problem, with gas pains and all, and the doctor has been prescribing this prescription for me, but the doctor is out of town for a few days, and I absolutely must have the prescription re-filled."
"Certainly. We're here to help. Now please read me the label on the bottle? Uhhh-hmmm. Yes, yes. Fine. Mrs. Watkins, I have some excellent news for you. The Sturgeon General has just sent me a letter that says you can save big bucks if you can make the prescription at home yourself. Apparently, your prescription is on that list. It's all part of the new Truth in Drugstores Policy."
"Isn't that amazing!"
"Yes, it is. Now, if you have a pencil and paper handy, I'll tell you how you can make your own prescription."
"Oh my, this is wonderful! My last prescription cost me $28.50. Please go on."
"Okee-dokee. First you take 1/4 cup of vinegar, mix it with five tablespoons of baking soda, add one ounce of Louisiana Hot Sauce, stir in two tablespoons of castor oil, one pinch of oregano, a splash of tonic water, crush up three Vicks cough drops and run it all in a blender for two minutes. Got that so far?'
"Uhh, yes. I think so."
"Good. Then you take this solution and add two egg whites, one teaspoon of Hershey chocolate syrup, a level tablespoon of curry powder, four ounces of Ex-Lax, ..."
"Ex-Lax?"
"Yes. It's one of the key ingredients. Most important. Then add an ounce of gin, two ounces of Pepto-Bismol, three ounces of vodka, four ounces of India ink, five ounces of instant de-caff coffee and a splash of Vitalis Hair Tonic. Put this all into a pan, bring it to a boil, let it cool down, then drink 1/2 cup every 20 minutes until it's all gone. Got that?"
"I think so. Are you sure about that Vitalis Hair Tonic?"
"Of course. It's what we in the profession call a catalyst."
"Well, thank you ... ahh ... I don't know your name?"
"Carlson. Doctor Carlson. This should most certainly solve your stomach problem. And feel free to call any time. We're here to serve."
Click.
Carl let out an evil chuckle and cast his line out once again. An hour later, there was some serious action on the line, and a large smile creased Carl's weathered face. Part of the smile was the fact that some fish were nibbling and bumping at his line, and the other part was an inner evil joy that Mrs. Watkins was probably bending over a toilet, blowing her lunch into the bowl, retching at full tilt.
The line wiggled and Carl braced for a big hit ... and the phone rang again!
"Hullo?" "Dr. Carlson? I just wanted to call and thank you for all the help with my prescription. It settled my stomach quite nicely. So much so, that I got on the phone and called all my friends and gave them your number. You can expect a lot of calls real soon. And thank you again."
Carl thumbed the OFF button on the cellular phone, stared at it for a hard moment, then reared back and flung it as hard and far as he could into the lake. The phone hit the water, and a monster bass jumped up, gulped the phone down and disappeared into the depths.
The sound of vile Navy curses filled the air, but that didn't bother Emma, who had just caught and released her 28th lunker blue-gill.


(NOTE TO ART DEPT: HOW ABOUT AN ILLO OF A LARGE HAIRY ARM THROWING A CELLULAR PHONE INTO A LAKE, WITH BASS JUMPING OUT OF THE WATER IN THE BACKGROUND?)

 

[superbuickguy]

Brakes

picture for posterity (also so I know how to put it back together)

how I put them together - a ratchet strap keeps it all together while I put the bits in....

and back on the ground

 

[superbuickguy]

Time to snorke
and to head off the haters - the point of the snorkel is to get the air intake above the dust. I have had to clean air filters during trail runs because even here it can get dusty.... and no, it's not likely I'll ever submerge this Suburban - and as you'll see when part 2 happens, it won't help with that anyway.
this is not for a Suburban, rather it's for a FJ80 (Toyota) - I have no idea if someone makes one for this, this was cheap, so I make it work

cutting the hole

surprisingly close

holes to hold it on

time for some heat to make it fit better - heating.... heat the plastic until it shines, push to where you need it, cool with water spray... success.

and there it does

imagine a duct running from the hole to the air cleaner.... then a box over the air cleaner.... that's part 2

hard to see, but I've heated the upper tube and pushed it closer to the body

and a bracket that needs one more bend and one bend to kink the other direction.... simple, but on the next installment

 

[superbuickguy]

One, stainless bracket

installed

and now a cheap, Toyota snorkel attached to a Suburban

 

[superbuickguy]

OFF-ROAD MAY 1994 THE WANDERERS # 64


HEADLINE: THE WANDERERS
SUBHEAD: ROAD GAMES
BYLINE: BY RICK SIEMAN


FORWARD: Carl and Emma live the good life. Carl, a retired Navy Chief Petty Officer, drives a huge 4WD Suburban all over the country to explore off-roading areas. The Suburban, nicknamed The Whale, is loaded to the max with every goody known to man. Emma, a very patient lady, tries to keep the short-fused Carl out of as much trouble as possible.
***
We join the wandering duo now, as they drive northward, hopefully to eventually arrive in Canada. With a long, straight, boring four-lane road dead ahead, Carl and Emma needed some entertainment. Emma suggested they play some road games, like guessing the color of the next car to pass in the approaching lanes.
Carl thought that would be a waste of time: "Lookee here, honey-pot. The sad fact of the matter is that most cars and trucks made are painted white. So if I picked white, I'd smoke you in a dumb game like that. What color would you pick, for example?"
Emma thought quietly for a moment. "Hmmm. I think I'd take pink."
"Pink! What kind of a dumb-butt choice is that? I'd take a bet against that any day of the week. Go ahead; make my day. I'll take any bet you care to toss out."
Emma thought deeply for a while. You could tell, as she chewed on her lower lip when she puzzled things out. "Okee-dokee. Loser has to wash dishes for the next week after meals."
Carl slapped his meaty palm on the dash. "Emma, you are makin' a big mistake. Ya see, you wash dishes all the time right now, so if you lose, nothing changes. You just keep on washing dishes. If I lose, then I've got to wash dishes, and that's not on my pudenda ..."
Emma interrupted, "You mean, agenda, dear."
"Agenda, pudenda, what's the difference? Anyways, the bottom line is that with that bet, you can win, but you ain't got nuthin' to lose. And with me, I can lose somethin', but if I win, I don't really win anything at all. Are you following this?"
Emma chewed on her bottom lip some more. "Yes. I think so."
"Good! This means that you have to come up with something to bet that I want to win. Now that part about me doin' the dishes if I lose is a pretty crafty bet on your part. And I could go along with that bet, but you gotta think long and hard about dangling something in front of me that I might go for. Sorta like bait on a hook, ya know. Now you think for a little bit, and I'll dial in somethin' good on the radio."
While Emma resumed chewing her bottom lip, Carl fiddled with the tuning dial on the Blitzkreig Blast-Master Sound-Sucker Warp Drive Amplo-Flyer Mark 12 sound system.
... dial ... dial ... dial ... dial ...
"... so be sure to stop on in at the Burger Through, the home of the famous Piggy Burger. That's six patties of real beef, on four sesame-seed buns, slathered with BBQ sauce, pickles, sauerkraut, sausages, ham slices, roast beef, pepperoni, bacon, corned beef, 14 kinds of cheese, pastrami, salami, pork chops, and of course, a side order of Pickled Pigs Feet. We're located right across from Sisters of Mercy Hospital, and we're opened seven days a week and ..."
...dial ... dial ... dial ... dial ...
" ... stop losing money with ordinary bank interest. By the time you pay taxes, you're coming out in the hole. The real key to financial security is investing in Bowling Stars Cards! That's right, remember how the first baseball cards that came out weren't worth much, but a clean Babe Ruth card is worth a fortune now. Just imagine how the new Bowling Stars Cards will appreciate in the years to come! We're not saying that everyone will make a fortune, but just listen to what Myron T. Fengo has to say about this great investment ..."
... dial ... dial ... dial ... dial ...
"... and next up on Talk-A-Lot Radio, we'll meet a former CIA agent who now teaches young people how to talk to trees ..."
... dial ... dial ... dial ... dial ...
"... after you add the parsley, stir in one cup of sugar, lower the heat to 275 degrees and toss in the possum meat ..."
... dial ... dial ... dial ... dial ...
"... so don't let these pent up feelings bother you, Bernice. It's actually quite normal for women to want hurt their boyfriends in some way. Of course, backing a car over him, like you did, is against the law, but we can understand your ..."
... dial ... dial ... dial ... dial ...
" ... made from a 5000 year old Chinese formula, Tiger Sweat Nutra-Juice is the only natural organic combination of seaweed and bat-wings available at better health food stores everywhe.."
... dial ... dial ... dial ... dial ...
" ... bring you this special report from the office of Councilman Murphy, on the irrigation problem that faces us ..."
... dial ... dial ... dial ... dial ...
" ... news on the hour and the half hour. Dateline: Michael Jackson and Madonna rumored to have a love-child in Costa Rica. We take you now to ..."
... dial ... dial ... dial ... dial ...
" ... so settle back and relax, as we play an un-interrupted hour of the greatest hits of Willy Nelson..."
"Bingo! I just hit some gold on the radio, in the midst of a wasteland of booger-snot trash."
The crusty sounds of Willy Nelson soon filled the cab of The Whale, with Willy mournfully spinning musical tales of bad whiskey and good women, bad women and good whiskey, and all kinds of cheatin' hearts messed up by a combination of whiskey and treachery.
Carl whistled and hummed along, badly out of tune and hopelessly off-key, but happy as a clam nonetheless; assuming of course, that clams are happy. We do not know this for a fact, but it's probably a safe guess, as the divorce rate among clams is very low.
As Carl mulled this over, Emma let out a small yelp of delight. "Hah! I've got it! If I lose the contest, I'll take my monthly allowance and spend it on beer for you. So what do you think?"
Carl scratched his chin and lowered the radio. "Let me get this straight. We have this car-color spotting contest, right? And if you win, I got to wash the dishes for a week, right?"
Emma shook her head. "Nope. Not a week. A month. After all, I'm willing to bet my entire monthly allowance."
Carl let out a low whistle. "Hoooeee! You mean you're willin' to wager the whole twelve dollars and fifty cents?"
"That's right. As long as you're willing to wash dishes for a month if you lose. Now, would you like to go over the rules before we start the contest?"

 

[superbuickguy]

They agreed on a one hour time limit. Carl picked white and Emma picked pink. Emma got out a large note pad, wrote CARL on the top left and EMMA on the top right, then drew a dividing line down the center. Carl hit the button on the digital clock on the dash after setting the alarm one hour ahead, then settled back to spot oncoming traffic.
The traffic came by at a slow, but steady pace, with a vehicle passing every few minutes.
Carl got the first points on the board, when a white pickup rolled on by, then less than a minute later, two white VW busses loaded with hippies, creaked past them. "That's three quick points, Emma! I can smell victory."
About ten minutes later, a white semi roared by, rocking The Whale from side-to-side with buffeting air. "Hah! That's another one!"
Emma bristled. "What do you mean? That doesn't count! You said trucks and cars. That's a semi!"
"That's right, and a semi is a truck. Now you go ahead and mark that point down. I won't complain if I see a pink semi or any other kind of pink truck coming down the road. As long as it's rolling, and it's street legal, it's fair game, I figger."
Emma sighed and settled back in her seat, looking defeated.
She didn't feel any better when Carl racked up another eight vehicles in the next half hour. A little ray of hope poked over the horizon when she saw what looked like a pink car approaching, but when it got closer, it was obviously a very dirty red car. Carl let out an evil snicker when he saw that.
With only 15 minutes remaining on the clock, Emma felt her heart sink when Carl spotted five more white cars in quick succession. "What's that come to now, honey-pot?"
"Seventeen," said Emma in a near whisper.
Carl finished off a Yoo-Hoo Chocolate Soda in one quick gulp. "Well, I see by the old clock on the dash, that there's less than ten minutes left. Would you like to give up now, so you can avoid humiliation ten minutes from now?"
Emma just folded her arms over her chest and stared straight ahead. The digital numbers on the clock glared at her; one more minute flickered past.
Then, over the rise appeared something rolling down the highway, something definitely pink. Pink and big!
Emma let out a squeal of excitement. "Look, Carl! It's a pink semi! I get a point!"
"What? Are you nuts? Who inna hell would drive a pink semi? Some kinda circus clown?"
At the moment, Carl could not know just how close he was to speaking the truth. The pink semi that soon rumbled into view was, indeed, driven by a circus clown. In fact, Pinky The Clown.
And on the side of that huge pink semi trailer, was lettered the sign: "PINKY BROTHERS CIRCUS AND CARNIVAL".
Right after the lead semi, was a long line of vehicles. Busses carrying people. Trucks towing trailers. Trucks with cages of circus animals. Flat-bed trucks with carnival rides loaded. Perhaps 30 vehicles in all.
And every one of them was painted bright pink!
Emma whipped out the ball point pen and made mark after mark as the assemblage of pink vehicles rumbled slowly by. "Eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen ... ooooh .... fifteen, sixteen, seventeen ... aaaahhhh .... five more takes it to twenty-two, another makes it twenty-three, and wait, there are still more coming!"
Finally, the pink line of rigs passed and became small images in Carl's rear view mirror. Emma was busy totaling up the score. "Well, the count so far is 32 to 17. But don't worry, dear, you still have some time left. Two minutes according to the clock."
In that last long 120 seconds, not one other vehicle rolled by The Whale. Eventually, the small buzz of the alarm went off and Emma clapped her hands happily. "Ooooh, Carl! I won! That means you have to wash dishes for the next month. Wasn't that exciting?"
Carl didn't say a word, but a minute later, when he saw a convenience store alongside the road, he pulled quickly in to the parking lot and shut the ignition off.
"What are you stopping for, dear? We're stocked up on just about everything."
Carl got out, looked through his wallet, then turned to Emma. "Nothin' much. I'm just gonna buy about fifty bucks worth of paper plates and plastic forks and spoons. It looks like it's gonna be a long month."




(NOTE TO ART DEPT. SUGGESTION FOR ILLUSTRATION. How about a drawing of The Whale driving down a long, straight, lonely-looking road, with a sign that says 'NEXT TOWN 100 MILES' ?)

 

[superbuickguy]

So time to say good bye to Wanderer 1. I have no idea what it's worth, but likely it will get sold to another person who does k9 Search and Rescue. Having the ability to keep your dogs cool no matter the weather is a big deal, plus the water and pump... anyway, say good bye

and in clearing the shop, I got the sliding tray out of the shop and into Wanderer 2. Not installed, but this next week I'll start getting this modified for camping and Search and Rescue.

 

[superbuickguy]

back
cooking, covered

I did some rework on the turbo intake along with raising the boost

time to finish the rack and paint it

unlike the other rig, it's going to be easy to disassemble for other duties

look about 2/3 of the way up that tree.... my supervisor owl was watching me work

I can't believe I bought a gas firepit but around here, it's the only legal way to have a campfire in the summer

painted

 

[superbuickguy]

and top back on top

 

[superbuickguy]

a bit of work done.... the battery isolator is installed

and had a successful tow of the '40.... just about ready to go....

 

[superbuickguy]

Everything went well. I need to replace the starter because it's not fully disengaging, but outside of that it worked very well.

and this field... everyone here likes dispersed camping (aka overland camping) - which makes this a bit of a paradox

 

[java]

Saw you pulling out and wondered how well it flat towed the FJ, glad it's working well!

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

 

[superbuickguy]

Saw you pulling out and wondered how well it flat towed the FJ, glad it's working well!

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

no drama at all. at the moment, it's the fastest way to get the '40 anywhere. There's a tire-balance-limited 59 mph (I need to put more BBs in the tire) on the '40, in the 'burb, you don't notice it
going over the pass, I was 55 most of the way up, the last climb I was down to 45 mph (which, coincidentally, was the speed limit when I went through). I may turn the boost up just a bit more, there's an 11 psi-safe-limit and I'm at 8 psi at full song; that said, before I do I'll get my pyrometer installed.

and with that said, my new axles for building a trailer arrived yesterday...

 

[java]

no drama at all. at the moment, it's the fastest way to get the '40 anywhere. There's a tire-balance-limited 59 mph (I need to put more BBs in the tire) on the '40, in the 'burb, you don't notice it
going over the pass, I was 55 most of the way up, the last climb I was down to 45 mph (which, coincidentally, was the speed limit when I went through). I may turn the boost up just a bit more, there's an 11 psi-safe-limit and I'm at 8 psi at full song; that said, before I do I'll get my pyrometer installed.

and with that said, my new axles for building a trailer arrived yesterday...

Sounds just about perfect! More boost is always the answer Only downside to flat towing is if you break something badly.

Are you just using Airsoft pellets? I am considering them for my truck, I get a shake around 72 that I am guessing is heavy ass unbalanced tires.

 

[superbuickguy]

Sounds just about perfect! More boost is always the answer Only downside to flat towing is if you break something badly.

Are you just using Airsoft pellets? I am considering them for my truck, I get a shake around 72 that I am guessing is heavy ass unbalanced tires.

I use Daisy BBs. I don't like airsoft because they break into dust after awhile. Of course, BBs will eventually rust so they're not perfect either.

One of those things I did when I built my '40 was make it so that I could break 3 axles and still keep rolling. If it's worse then that, I simply get it to pavement and call AAA.