Curt,
There seems to be a lot of debate over your engine and suspension in this thread. Of course I have my opinion like everyone else does about the best engine and whether or not you need a lift, but you need to decide that after doing your own research.
I doubt anyone will disagree that if you're going to take your family on trips in this vehicle and you plan on taking them to trails like the Rubicon you need to be thinking about a roll cage. Gears, tires, lifts, motor swaps, bumpers, winches, roof racks - that's fun stuff to dream about and spend your time doing research on. I had a very built '95 NAS Defender 90 that I sold to get a 110 because I got my wife pregnant. One of the very first things that my 110 will get is good rollover protection - and I'm building it expedition style, not as a rockcrawler. Have you ever seen what happens when the aluminum body on one of these gets below that enormous box frame? Google it.
My 90 was on 37" tires with a (disc) Salisbury rear end, oversized chromoly axles and CVs up front (4.71 GBR stage 3 cryoed), custom driveshafts, F&R ARBs, some extreme suspension mods, bead lock wheels, etc. (I know - sacrilege - my penance was paid when I sold it for $10K less than purchase price), so I've been down the rock crawling, trail ready Defender path. My advice would be the same if you were shooting for something like my 90 was - GET A CAGE.
Safety Devices made the ones that came on the NAS models. They bolt together (DIY install), but are hard to find in the states and cost a fortune. For the same price you can have an off road shop build a custom cage for you and it will be welded together (stronger). If I were you I'd start doing research on that before you raise the center of gravity with a lift and tires.
Just my two cents.
-Jake