Lipstick on a Pig: The 10 Don'ts of Vehicle Modifications

[binrat]

WOW,
I just read the whole thread. There is a large number of snooty HAMS here, I bet most will not admit they started with CB's in the first place. Of the original 10, some are right on, some are not. I think #8 and 10 almost go hand in hand, Go Ham and Buy the right vehicle for the job again reinforces my statement about snooty.
Of all the hams here, what is your class. To me the tech class has turned into a glorified CB ticket, nothing more. There are places in Canada where the truckers use VHF on government regulated frequencies for safety, sometimes it sounds like channel 19. For the record I have HF and VHF ability in my truck and am an Advanced ticketed operator along with ROC-A examiner.
A properly installed CB with a good antenna will work very well, just don't cheap out on your antenna. Those cheap truck stop 4' fiberglass antennas are a overgrow rubber ducky antenna that's used on 2 metre HT's, they give you 50 ohm impedance and that's all.
Simple engine mods are good. I have an intake kit and a cat back exhaust. My truck increased fuel economy has paid for the parts put were put on. But then again my exploring vehicle is my daily driver (So I guess I fail for point #10).
Having a hi-lift jack is good as well, its another "tool in your toolbox" along with shovel / axe / winch. Along with aftermarket headlights. If the oncoming traffic's lights bother you then you are not driving defensively. (looking to you right shoulder instead of looking at the vehicle coming towards you)

 

[Black Dog]

Two is one and one is none, so its CB and ham for me. I've lived in rural areas where maybe I was in range of a repeater, maybe I wasn't, and the chances of someone being on simplex were slim. Buuuut everyone had a CB in their truck/tractor/camper. So if I ever needed to talk to someone I had a way. Ham is preferable, just listen to channel 19 on your CB on any Friday or Saturday night and you'll understand.

 

[binrat]

Two is one and one is none, so its CB and ham for me. I've lived in rural areas where maybe I was in range of a repeater, maybe I wasn't, and the chances of someone being on simplex were slim. Buuuut everyone had a CB in their truck/tractor/camper. So if I ever needed to talk to someone I had a way. Ham is preferable, just listen to channel 19 on your CB on any Friday or Saturday night and you'll understand.

Awesome.

 

[AFBronco235]

Oversized suspension lifts are my biggest pet peeve. I mean, come on, do you really need the cab to be 4 feet off the ground, and tires as tall as a 4 yr old? The stock suspension on my Bronco gets a lot of bad publicity for being different, yet its a smoother ride than anything else available at the time and just as tough as anything currently out there. Its simple enough to maintain, provided you know how to do more than read a computer diagnostic, which is usually wrong to begin with. And I still sit higher than most jeeps with lift kits installed.

As for aftermarket bumpers, it depends on what vehicle you have. If you have something with plastic bumpers, its a good upgrade to add steel bumpers. I didn't need one for my bronco because its already 3/16 steel and even had room behind it for a winch mount. I didn't need a new bumper.

I do have a CB, but I only have it because most of my family and the farmers in my home town have them. The only reason I'd get anything else is if I needed one to communicate with a specific group. Its also saved me a few hours on long trips before, by avoiding accidents on the highways and detouring early to avoid the backed up traffic.

Everything in moderation.

I do think that there is a little confusion on the definition of an "Expo Rig". In fact, Expo tends to be used for two different words. Here, its generally used for Expedition, but it can also be used as Exposition. An exposition rig is just a show model, meant to show off an accessory manufacturer's product and uses. That's why you see rigs with thousands of lights on them at places like SEMA. Or with enough armor for a war zone. These rigs are not meant to be used or driven. But you get the mall crawler types who think that those are representative rigs of what the rest of us drive, and they follow those trends.

Spoilers on trucks and lowered trucks/4X4's? UGH! Don't get me started. I even saw a guy trying to sell a Bronco he'd converted to 2WD. I get that its his truck and he can do what he wants with it, but still. Some people are just plain stupid.

I'm also in the camp of not wanting a high lift without having proper lift points. As for the tire hooks, what if you need to change said tire? As mentioned, everything is a compromise, but the hi-lift is too much compromise for too little gain at this point.

I do have a spare mounted on a swing out rack, and that's how I prefer it. My tires aren't that heavy so its not a big deal to take it on and off. Also, there isn't much room in the back of a bronco to begin with. I would like to get a custom rear bumper with a swing out rack to replace the stock one, but only because I'd like to run 33 inch tires instead of the 31's I currently have. I don't want the extra weight to rip off the stock carrier. It would be different if I had a pickup, but I don't. At least I don't keep it on the roof rack.

 

[Kgh]

Haha, yes. That's it!!! Same colour and everything.

You know, after seeing it again, and upon further reflection, it's still pretty stupid.

And in the way of hauling, and gonna get ripped off on something and cost ya, and non functional...

A direct nod to Dodge Daytona and Plymouth Superbirds. It has visceral significance for us children of the 70's. I still remember seeing a Superbird at the local A&P. I had to have been six, because we moved soon after. But I remember that car 42 years later.
- This wing is marketing disguised as nostalgia.

And it does just look stupid.

 

[Expedition.Report]

I'm gonna get in trouble.....

1-roof racks
2-bumper mounted spare tire/cooler/gascan swing outs
3-too much lift for too little tire
4-big heavy bumpers, especially front ones.
5-roof top tents
6-heavy steel armor over everything
7-snorkels
8-light-duty vehicles that are 6000lbs+
9-rear heavy weight bias
10-TOO much bolt-on stuff....you know who you are!

Ok....I am going to go hide now.....

#3 is about the only part I can agree with you on.... The rest are dependent on so many other factors

 

[optimusprime]

So these smoke signals ...... if i use a tartan rug,will they have a Scottish accent?

The only other thing i have is an Australian beach towel ...... Does that mean i have to light my fire upside down ??

 

[CJones]

The only other thing i have is an Australian beach towel ...... Does that mean i have to light my fire upside down ??

I ran into the same issue. I found that I was able to light the fire right side up as long as the towel was used upside down. Not sure why that worked.

 

[optimusprime]

I ran into the same issue. I found that I was able to light the fire right side up as long as the towel was used upside down. Not sure why that worked.

Just tried that. It worked but there's a slight problem, because as the towel is the wrong way round, the smoke signals come out backwards.
I even tried vacuuming the smoke up to send later, but that just mixed the signsls up and got me stern looks off the wife ......

 

[CJones]

Just tried that. It worked but there's a slight problem, because as the towel is the wrong way round, the smoke signals come out backwards.
I even tried vacuuming the smoke up to send later, but that just mixed the signsls up and got me stern looks off the wife ......

Forgot to mention. The receiver of your message needs a mirror with which to read the signals. They come out backwards but the mirror corrects that. Good luck with the vacuum idea.

 

[optimusprime]

Thanks for that .... But that sets up the next issue .... How do i inform them of this protocol,seeing as all they'll be seeing is some mad english bloke dancing around a very smokey fire waving an upside down aussie beach towel around ..... Oh looks like they've put their fire out .... I think i've been unfriended!!



( i can hear Scott rolling his eyes and groaning as i type)

 

[DaveNay]

Thanks for that .... But that sets up the next issue .... How do i inform them of this protocol,seeing as all they'll be seeing is some mad english bloke dancing around a very smokey fire waving an upside down aussie beach towel around ..... Oh looks like they've put their fire out .... I think i've been unfriended!!



( i can hear Scott rolling his eyes and groaning as i type)

Arthur Dent? Is that you?

 

[Yuman Desert Rat]

interesting read.... well, uh moost of it anyway.... As for the crux of the OP and the "top 10's"it evolved into sounds like a (indirect/unintended?)full bird salute to the livelihood of the vast majority of the sponsors of this forum? So what? Take stock vehicle of choice into the no mans land of your choice hope you make it back home? If not, go survivorman and cannibalize the vehicle to stay alive until rescued? Everyone has their own choice to do whatever mods they see fit and makes them happy, so long as they're not looking down their nose at anyone else. Believe me I have absolutely ZERO love for the brolifted, mallcrawling metalmullisha card carrying ****************** wagons (mostly native to SoCal) but I suppose they serve a purpose... they keep costs lower on function driven aftermarket parts by keeping companies afloat, stimulate the economy buy spending copious amounts of money and make us feel better by trash talking them for making a mockery of actual (responsible)off road vehicles and enthusiasts. Just my .02

 

[cruiseroutfit]

...to make a list that basically says don't do all of that stuff to your vehicle (even though WE do) seems downright silly and somewhat hypocritical. ...

To be fair, I don't see any of those "10 Dont's" that the E7 rigs were guilty of. Perhaps you're thinking of others?

There are a handful of the points I'm certainly less stuck on than Scott's list but I think overall it presents a fair comical look at the mods that were "all the rage" at that time and I don't think it was meant to be the golden rule so much as generate some fun conversation and traffic for ExPo. It has certainly achieved all of those goals.

 

[Yuman Desert Rat]

:iagree:Curt, perhaps I came off wrong. my eyes were a bit crossed after reading through that thread. I was more going along the lines of what the list evolved into from the OP. (aside from the CB/HAM banter)Scotts was a tongue in cheek. that I agree with. yeah... I re read that last bit came off way different form where I was trying to go... edited... I'm sure that there are folks who will disagree with my stance on having chrome accessories on Jeeps and other similar type vehicles...lol