Titanium sporks? This guy had the future of camping in the U.S. correctly pegged way back in 1988. In his very enjoyable book, The Lost Continent, Travels in Small Town America, humorist Bill Bryson wrote:
“What slowed the traffic here were the massive motor homes lumbering up and down the mountain passes. Some of them, amazingly, had cars tethered to their rear bumpers, like dinghies. I got stuck behind one on the long, sinuous descent down the mountain into Tennessee. It was so wide that it could barely stay within its lane and kept threatening to nudge oncoming cars off into the picturesque void to our left.
That, alas, is the way of vacationing nowadays for many people. The whole idea is not to expose yourself to a moment of discomfort or inconvenience-indeed, not to breathe fresh air if possible. When the urge to travel seizes you, you pile into your thirteen-ton tin palace and drive 400 miles across the country, hermetically sealed against the elements, and stop at a campground where you dash to plug into their water supply and electricity so that you don't have to go a single moment without air-conditioning or dishwasher and microwave facilities.
These things, these RVs, are like life-support systems on wheels. Astronauts go to the moon with less backup. RV people are another breed and a largely demented one at that. They become obsessed with trying to equip their vehicles with gadgets to deal with every possible contingency.
Their lives become ruled by the dread thought that one day they may find themselves in a situation in which they are not entirely self-sufficient.
I once went camping for two days at Lake Darling in Iowa with a friend whose father- an RV enthusiast-kept trying to press labor-saving devices on us.
"I got a great little solar-powered can opener here," he would say. "You wanna takethat?"
"No thanks," we would reply. "We're only going for two days."
"How about this combination flashlight-carving knife? You can run it off the car cigarette lighter if you need to, and it doubles as a flashing siren if you get lost in the wilderness."
"No thanks."
"Well, at least take the battery-powered microwave."
"Really, we don't want it."
"Then how the hell are you going to pop popcorn out there in the middle of nowhere? Have you thought about that?"
…
You can see these people at campgrounds all over the country, standing around their vehicles comparing gadgets-methane-powered ice-cube makers, portable tennis courts, anti-insect flame throwers, inflatable lawns. They are strange and dangerous people and on no account should be approached.”
