Hang in there Darin.
Making the decision to change is the first step to becoming the person you want to be. Congratulations on reaching that point.
Call the doctor today and make that appointment. There may be other options as well that he can help you with.
Most importantly, remember that yesterday is who you were, NOT who you are! Focus on the person you want to be and the activities you want to enjoy and you will be amazed at how much easier it becomes to handle life's challenges.
When negative thoughts try to creep back in, send them packing with a reminder that you feel so much better now that you are in control. Remind yourself of this daily, hourly if necessary! You are in control. Take the steps and seek assistance from those around you. Simply ask for help and people WILL help.
This board is an awesome example of that. People from all walks of life, political and religious affiliations all coming together in respect and friendship to help each other.
I've been through many challenges and am still working through a few. I wake up every day and say thank you for another day, smile (even if I have to force it) and start my day grateful for another opportunity to be here in this wonderful world. Focus on the good, try to stay away from the bad news. If you watch the news, Stop! Read, talk or engage in things that make you feel good, happy and useful.
In the immortal words of Bela Karolyi at the 2000 Sydney Olympics to Kerri Strug, "You can do it!" :luxhello: