Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

[Rexsname]

I too am listening........I know how intensely that sort of pain hurts. Its not just 'feeling down' its a very real painful pain. Good cal on storing your firearms elsewhere. I brought both of my duty weapons to my in-laws house so I wouldn't be tempted. I'm so sorry you are hurting, I wouldn't wish this on anyone

REX

 

[Rexsname]

Oh yeah.....you mentioned drinking, alcohol ,I would guess. I have made it a new rule. I can have a beer if I want but I have to drink 2x that amount in water before I get to have another one. In other words, a 12oz bottle of cool and refreshing goodness MUST be followed by at least 24oz of clean fresh water.

I'm down but I'm not out yet!

REX

 

[Scott Brady]

Rex,

If the ExPo community wanted to send you a little help, how could we do that?

Do you have a PayPal address or mailing address if we wanted to help?

 

[Rexsname]

Scott,

Thank you both for this forum and for caring! I didn't know if I was a 'good enough' friend for you to write to, but thank you.
My mailing address is in a PM to you



I have a paypal MasterCard but I have no Idea how much is in that account or how to find out. Carrie allways handles all of the finances so I'm at a loss. Do you know of any sort of financial gaurdienship service that could take me by the hand and at least get me started? I know it sounds like I'm a 5 year old but I really could use some help on this area.

Feel free to PM my address to those that can/want to help. I dont know if it should be 'out there' on the web tho.... Thank you SOOO much for your caring and your labor of love, this forum.

REX

 

[Scott Brady]

I have talked with Rex, and we have agreed to post his address. I am sure we all have come on hard times. Maybe a little ExPo love will help Rex through this one:

For those that would like to send a little help-

Rex Thompson
P.O.Box 27091
Prescott Valley
AZ 86312

 

[Rexsname]

I am just about overwhelmed............Thank you one and all for the time and caring you have shown, not only to me, but to the others who are hurting. I just read a tread on the AZTTORA forum about a guy that was killed recently while out in his formula Toy. No seatbelt and several rolls/ejection. I didn't know him or even ever wheel with him but it broke my mood/spirit and put me back to the sobbing/fetal position mess I was last week.

A good friend allowed me to help out yesterday at work. He owns a tile business and needed a hand with a granite counter-top. While it was good to not be at home and bored, It sure drove home the fact that I'm not strong enough to work at that occupation. I guess to-morrow I'll try to go out and find work of some sort. Those of you sufering with depression can empathize with how paralizing it can be when you have to do something scarey.

Scott, you wanna coffee?

REX

 

[Rexsname]

Not a good evening for me.........for what ever reason, I chose to watch the movie "A Beautiful Mind" with Russel Crow. Basicly a film about mental illness and how if affects the family and friends of the person with the illness. There is a scene in the film where Dr. Nash is holding his crying son seemingly unable to do anything to comfort the baby. I feel like that tonight. Unable to do anything to help myself feel better. I am tired. I am sad. I miss my wife terribly. I am scared. I dont want to hurt myself, niether am I seeing things that aren't there. (Did you ever notice how difficult to type when your eyes are full of tears) I have an appointment to talk with the Guidence Clinic on Tuesday and sincerly hope I can hold things together until then.
The good news is, Carries lawyer will visit with her tomorrow and I will get to see her as well. When I am with her all I can think of to do is smile and tell her how much I love her. Not very useful I know, but it feels desperately important at the time.
I also need to go out and find a job. However, my confidence is totaly shot. I think that the only thing I have going for me is the very clear understanding of my role as an employee. That is to put more money in the employers pocket than I take out.

After re-reading this post I see that it makes no sence........as I said, I am tired.

REX

 

[nwoods]

Rex, you've mentioned that this forum (and internet in general) and in particular, being able to talk to your wife are extremely theaputic for you. With Scott's help, we are sending you the ability to maintain both of these avenues. It's not much, but you are not alone. Hang in there.

 

[ntsqd]

Thought I'd bring this back to the top, keep people aware and ask how folks are doing. Those that have posted about having troubles, are you coping? Can we do something to help?
Rex & I worked together years ago. We have a mutual friend who can't be there as much as he'd like, but he's also doing what he can to help. I'm concerned that others may not have much support.

 

[Rexsname]

A bit of an update

I haven't posted anything on this thread in a few days because I hadn't anything encouraging to share............or did I? On Friday I was able to get together with Scott Brady and his beautiful wife Stephanie. We met at a local 'watering hole' and enjoyed some great conversation and an iced tea.

This forum is fantastic and the support that I have received is awsome but it's not the same as being in the same room with living breathing smiling supportive people. We talked about everything from getting a job, church attendence, tire sizes, movies, tears, magazines, on-line forums (both this one and the bad ones) and spent a couple of hours just being friends. After a short while, Chris (bajataco) showed up and joined in. Scott and Stephanie had a date night planned so after our good byes,(and a very welcome and totally unexpected $ gesture), Chris and I had dinner and a stroll around the Courthouse Square.

So much of the time I feel like I am so inarticulate, both in writing and verbally. I just wanted to offer up my public thanks for the folks that own-run-lead this forum. I'm not trying to make this into a 'hero worship' kind of thing, just attempting to let people who haven't met them know, that the quality you see on this forum and also in the pages of Overland Journal is a direct result of quality people.

On the PTSD front......I have some OK days and some horribly black days (evenings mostly). I have an appointment at The Guidence Clinic (county mental health dept) to-morrow morning and I hope that goes well. Our daughter (stray, employee, great family friend) said she noticed that I have gone noticably downhill. While that is NOT good news, I do find myself finally being able to get somethings done. I went out looking for a job last week and will continue this week as well. Those of you that have suffered (are suffering) with depression know about the felling of paralysis; The feeling that you just CANT get up and get even the simpilist thing done. That feeling is still there but I am beginning to tough it out and collapse in a heap after its done instead of staying put and dreading the collapse.

To those of you offering well wishes and suggestions via PMs, Thank you! I'll give you a beer or a hug or what ever when we meet up.

Untill the next time

REX

 

[preacherman]

jh504 just told me about this thread. Although I have not had time to read it all I thought I would chime in.

As you may be able to guess by my user name I am a full time minister. I have not only done a lot of counseling with people dealing with various struggles I too suffered from PTSD for about a year. You see 9 years ago I was an on site counselor at Columbine the day of the shootings. Afterwords I struggled deeply with depression and it took a long time to be able to sleep, rest, or even set still with any peace.

If I might offer some suggestions based on my personal experience and lots of time on "both" sides of the chair.

1. Seek professional help. Depression and PTSD cannot be overcome by yourself. It took me years to go to a counselor. I wrongly assumed that because I was a caregiver I did not need a caregiver. I was wrong.
2. If you are a spiritual person and read the bible try reading the Psalms. The psalms where written as kind of journal entry's to God and contain emotions everyone can relate with. They are open, honest, refreshing excerpts from someone who obviously also dealt with depression. They have high highs and low lows. You will find you will relate with both.
3. Find a community of other travelers. This might be a church or a "support group" or just some good friends. Remember one of the only differences between stressful situations and crisis situations are the coping mechanisms we have in place. This includes the people around you!
4. Lastly, and this may sound harsh, don't feed your depression Purposefully stay away from things that agitate or activate your depression until you get back on track. Some people wrongly assume that they needs to "confront" there emotions by experiencing things that agitate their depression. This wrong. After Columbine I had to stay away from movies/books/games that where violent because they would send me into an emotional tailspin. Whatever your trigger is STAY AWAY! As you get better you can SLOWLY reintroduce those things into your life.

I would love to help in any way I can! Unfortunately I will be leaving this weekend on a mission trip into Mexico and will not be able to check my e-mail or web for a week or so. Until then feel free to pm me or e-mail me.

I will be praying for everyone who mentioned they where struggling.

Preacherman

 

[KG6BWS]

I haven't posted anything on this thread in a few days because I hadn't anything encouraging to share............or did I? On Friday I was able to get together with Scott Brady and his beautiful wife Stephanie. We met at a local 'watering hole' and enjoyed some great conversation and an iced tea.

This forum is fantastic and the support that I have received is awsome but it's not the same as being in the same room with living breathing smiling supportive people. We talked about everything from getting a job, church attendence, tire sizes, movies, tears, magazines, on-line forums (both this one and the bad ones) and spent a couple of hours just being friends. After a short while, Chris (bajataco) showed up and joined in. Scott and Stephanie had a date night planned so after our good byes,(and a very welcome and totally unexpected $ gesture), Chris and I had dinner and a stroll around the Courthouse Square.

So much of the time I feel like I am so inarticulate, both in writing and verbally. I just wanted to offer up my public thanks for the folks that own-run-lead this forum. I'm not trying to make this into a 'hero worship' kind of thing, just attempting to let people who haven't met them know, that the quality you see on this forum and also in the pages of Overland Journal is a direct result of quality people.

On the PTSD front......I have some OK days and some horribly black days (evenings mostly). I have an appointment at The Guidence Clinic (county mental health dept) to-morrow morning and I hope that goes well. Our daughter (stray, employee, great family friend) said she noticed that I have gone noticably downhill. While that is NOT good news, I do find myself finally being able to get somethings done. I went out looking for a job last week and will continue this week as well. Those of you that have suffered (are suffering) with depression know about the felling of paralysis; The feeling that you just CANT get up and get even the simpilist thing done. That feeling is still there but I am beginning to tough it out and collapse in a heap after its done instead of staying put and dreading the collapse.

To those of you offering well wishes and suggestions via PMs, Thank you! I'll give you a beer or a hug or what ever when we meet up.

Untill the next time

REX

im glad to hear youre starting to work it out. getting help is the best thing you can do. i wish i had a long time ago. ive dealt with major depression for as long as i can remember and its only recently ive tried to get some help. i know exactly how it feels. ill be happy when i can at least get to a state of neutrality, not happy, not sad. im tired of feeling like this. like you said, not being able to get anything done. my parents have seen a major downturn with me over the last few months. thank god i work for my dad, cuz otherwise i wouldve been fired a long time ago. anyways, hope things get better for you.

 

[Rexsname]

I went to my Guidence Clinic appointment today for the 'intake' asessment. No, I'll not be admitted to a mental heath hospital ,just their word for the first meeting. The counselor was very interested in filling out all of the blank spots on her very long form so the interview was mostly a long series of short answers. As it turns out some of the questions were very much more painful to answer than others. It felt as though she had a very long thin knife and was poking around to see where it hurt. Some of the questions brought me to the point of horrible racking sobs almost before I understood the question. Others provoked no responce at all. She asked if I had ever been in any physical fights in which I had been 'knocked out'. I had. She asked how many times. I couldn't guess how many; more than five, less than twenty. She went on to tell me that head trauma has a cumulitive (sp) effect, much like hearing loss. Once is not too bad, two is very much worse, three is very bad indeed. I never considered any of these events to have been a head injury, it was just a sucky part of the job. Reason enough to be that much more on my guard for the next time. Just be tougher, stay alert and never give up in a fight. As my career went on and I began to work in the jail. Fights were more the rule than the exception. I can only remember being knocked out twice or three times in the 9 years 9 months I was there. I hate to fight, I despise to hurt people. But the attitude of the staff was almost as violent as the inmates.

I dont know where I was going with that last paragraph... just needed to vent I guess. The counselor reccomended some support groups that I plan on looking into. As of now, this on-line group of friends is my most valued support group. Those of you who have stepped up to lend me your support; I thank you and honour your friendship. Those of you who are following my struggles, thanks for reading along, I hope you gain some insight into mental illness. I'm not well but I'm not contagous . Those of you who wish I would just shut up and go away........not gonna happen!:yikes:

Thanks for listening

REX

 

[Streakerfreak]

Those of you who wish I would just shut up and go away........not gonna happen!:yikes:

Thanks for listening

REX

I highly doubt anyone on here would feel that way. At least I hope not.

 

[vengeful]

Rex, if you ever just shut up and go away, we'd all be very concerned. :camping: