Lipstick on a Pig: The 10 Don'ts of Vehicle Modifications

[Maximus Ram]

I just want to know if Haggis ever got the fire out ? :campfire::yikes:

 

[Haggis]

I just want to know if Haggis ever got the fire out ? :campfire::yikes:

Yep! I ran the Jeep through the redneck fire surpression system about a dozen times...

Though, I'm hoping Scott will drop by this spring and help build me a new garage. It his was idea after all. :drool:

 

[teotwaki]

(Due to possible Internet misinterpretations I am issuing a HUMOR Alert!)

I am surrending myself to the Equipment Nazis

Apparently I am violating a fair number of these (funny) "don'ts" while out in Death Valley and I was spotted by another Expo member so I have to 'fess up.

1. Roof rack (It is removed for daily driving though)
2. Gas cans on roof rack instead of an expensive larger than stock fuel tank which eliminates the spare location, requiring a swing out tire mount, another violation!
3. Hi Lift (FARM Jack) on the roof rack (okay, I do have sliders as lift points)
4. RTT ("Roof Top Tent" to the non-cult members)
5. Stickers (gasp!) on the windows
6. Trailer might count in some folk's books as a means to violate GVWR
7. GPS (even though I use paper maps and compass)
8. Too many transceivers (3 HF, FRS, 3 HTs, 2 "ham" mobile radios, CB RADIO in a Pelican) and two scanners, but not actually mounted inside
9. Plastic bumpers in a desert of the west
10. Lipstick on a Japanese mall-crawler
11. Brackets, metal stock and junk from Home Depot
12. Bolt on (not welded) stuff like sliders
13. Packed too much junk
14. Traveling alone (but giving gas and jump starts to others)
15. Non "Expo White" vehicle color
16. Tools from Harbor Freight
17. No M/T style tires
18. No bottle jack (but there was bottled beer!)

AND I had the nerve to go out to DV for only 3 days, have some fun and use all this stuff mostly alone rather than in an organized event. Oh! Another violation? :elkgrin: Trip report will be concocted soon. :coffeedrink:

 

[Mr. Leary]

(Due to possible Internet misinterpretations I am issuing a HUMOR Alert!)

1. Roof rack (It is removed for daily driving though)
2. Gas cans on roof rack instead of an expensive larger than stock fuel tank which eliminates the spare location, requiring a swing out tire mount, another violation!
3. Hi Lift (FARM Jack) on the roof rack (okay, I do have sliders as lift points)
4. RTT ("Roof Top Tent" to the non-cult members)
5. Stickers (gasp!) on the windows
6. Trailer might count in some folk's books as a means to violate GVWR
7. GPS (even though I use paper maps and compass)
8. Too many transceivers (3 HF, FRS, 3 HTs, 2 "ham" mobile radios, CB RADIO in a Pelican) and two scanners, but not actually mounted inside
9. Plastic bumpers in a desert of the west
10. Lipstick on a Japanese mall-crawler
11. Brackets, metal stock and junk from Home Depot
12. Bolt on (not welded) stuff like sliders
13. Packed too much junk
14. Traveling alone (but giving gas and jump starts to others)
15. Non "Expo White" vehicle color
16. Tools from Harbor Freight
17. No M/T style tires
18. No bottle jack (but there was bottled beer!)

AND I had the nerve to go out to DV for only 3 days, have some fun and use all this stuff mostly alone rather than in an organized event. Oh! Another violation? :elkgrin: Trip report will be concocted soon. :coffeedrink:

:yikes:

Oh, the humanity!






























Looking forward to the trip report, Jim! :coffeedrink:

 

[Dave Bennett]

OMG, LOL... what a poseur :elkgrin:

 

[silvElise]

Awsome tips! Only thing I was on the fence with like some peple here is the CB... Seems like alot of groups here think it is a must on their trips.

Luckily I just got tech certified so ham will be in the works once I get a rig

 

[teotwaki]

OMG, LOL... what a poseur :elkgrin:

Oh good grief! Now I am up to 19 violations. The shame!

 

[GeoTracker90]

I just remembered this one:

Bolting a length of chain between the driver side and passenger side frame rails and letting it swing in anticipation of being used to simultaneously extract the stuck vehicle and bring the frame rails closer together at the same time!

Whenever I see something like that all I can think of is a body shop with a frame rack just waiting for their chance to undo the damage done when using this length of cahin as a recovery point.

Mike

 

[GeoTracker90]

Awsome tips! Only thing I was on the fence with like some peple here is the CB... Seems like alot of groups here think it is a must on their trips.

Luckily I just got tech certified so ham will be in the works once I get a rig

Congratulations! What call sign did you receive?

Mike

 

[Hilldweller]

Communication systems are pretty useless unless you have someone to talk to.

CB is a fairly ubiquitous communications solution. As such it trumps any and all of the snobbier gizmos in practical day-to-day situations.
No matter how superior other means may be, the trucker heading in the opposite direction won't give you a weather or traffic update on it.

The Exposeur crowd needs to remember that 99% of real-world wheeling/exploring/eco-tourism is conducted by ordinary people with ordinary budgets with access to ordinary materials ---- no sponsors, no grants, and very rarely a visa other than the credit card.
It's a string of buddies on a favorite trail for a day or four, eating out of Dutch ovens, looking at stars, huddling around campfires, and yakking on the CB.

We have our Ham-heads too and they come in handy. But they know the wisdom of universal communications. Just like China where everyone speaks Mandarin.

And don't be influenced by Equipment Nazis.

Good term; I like that.

While prolific, CB and FRS are only popular as a result of accessibility and simplicity, not performance. That was the point I was trying (poorly) to make.

Quite.
And certain vehicles perform better offroad than others.
But we still invite Land Rover owners to our events and don't try to belittle or alienate them...
Your mistake here was the wording. You said "never" instead of "I wouldn't". Comes off a bit harsh and judgemental.

The conversation actually has me wondering if it is possible to amplify a CB transmission using a car stereo amplifier? Might be a way to boost the signal if you find the need to get it out a long way in an emergency...

Linear amplifiers work great and are proportionately illegal to their gain.
As a puckish lad, I spoke regularly from my base CB in NJ (only 75 watts) to south Florida, western Canada, and other exotic locations like Arizona.
Inferior? Pish-tosh. Underpowered and poorly tuned is what they are.


Now for my short list of "don'ts":

Illegal and/or dangerous headlight mods. Bootleg HID kits, the IPF kits, Delta garbage, high wattage bulbs, blue Disney-bulbs, etc.
Stop blinding me and get legal.

 

[Storz]

The Exposeur crowd needs to remember that 99% of real-world wheeling/exploring/eco-tourism is conducted by ordinary people with ordinary budgets with access to ordinary materials ---- no sponsors, no grants, and very rarely a visa other than the credit card.
It's a string of buddies on a favorite trail for a day or four, eating out of Dutch ovens, looking at stars, huddling around campfires, and yakking on the CB.

Amen to that

 

[Hilldweller]

Amen to that

Sorry about my LR crack; it was tongue in cheek of course. :sombrero:

 

[teotwaki]

Ultimately this is a discussion of ideas, opinions and also plenty of wisecracks. It is all good!

 

[Antichrist]

Now for my short list of "don'ts":

Illegal and/or dangerous headlight mods. Bootleg HID kits, the IPF kits, Delta garbage, high wattage bulbs, blue Disney-bulbs, etc.
Stop blinding me and get legal.

x2
Of all the things listed, some make me wonder, "******?", or chuckle. But when it comes down to it, I don't really care and don't even think about it when I seem them except maybe for a split second.


The above though are the things that really get under my skin because they directly impact me.

 

[Haggis]

Ultimately this is a discussion of ideas, opinions and also plenty of wisecracks. It is all good!

x2. Threads like this always reminds me of what one old guy told me in the days of yore..."Opinions are a lot like farts, somebody is always cutting one loose. The trick is to ignore the mild ones and laugh your butt off at the really obnoxious ones.":elkgrin: